Elvis
Follow That Dream!40 total reviews
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
You did an excellent job of incorporating Elvis's songs into a very well written poem of description of him. I enjoyed reading it. His voice had a rich resonance, and he will not be forgotten by all who heard him sing.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
  |
You did an excellent job of incorporating Elvis's songs into a very well written poem of description of him. I enjoyed reading it. His voice had a rich resonance, and he will not be forgotten by all who heard him sing.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
-
Thank you so much, Verna, for your lovely rating and comments, so greatly valued! I'm delighted you enjoyed it.Take care Debbie
Comment from estory
Elvis certainly lives on in his music, and I liked how you wove in all those song titles that reminded us of his voice but also captured something of his life and his relationship to his fans. You also acknowledge that he wasn't perfect, he had his ego, his self indulgences, and I guess they cost him his life before his time, really. estory
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
|
Elvis certainly lives on in his music, and I liked how you wove in all those song titles that reminded us of his voice but also captured something of his life and his relationship to his fans. You also acknowledge that he wasn't perfect, he had his ego, his self indulgences, and I guess they cost him his life before his time, really. estory
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
-
Thank you so much for this lovely rating and your very thoughtful comments. I'm delighted that it triggered some memories for you. Take care Debbie.
Comment from Earl Corp
This should have been a tell a story in a poem contest entry. It rhymed, made sense and you can't go wrong with the King. Very nice job including song titles in your rhymes. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
 |
This should have been a tell a story in a poem contest entry. It rhymed, made sense and you can't go wrong with the King. Very nice job including song titles in your rhymes. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful rating and comments! This is all greatly appreciated. Take care Debbie
Comment from papa55mike
My wife once said that Elvis was the most beautiful thing on the planet! He was and is still the greatest. We did get to see Lisa Marie in concert. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
|
My wife once said that Elvis was the most beautiful thing on the planet! He was and is still the greatest. We did get to see Lisa Marie in concert. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
-
Thank you so much, Mike, for your lovely rating and comments which are all greatly valued. I'm delighted it triggered some happy memories for you. I don't think your wife was the only one to think that! Take care Debbie
Comment from jim vecchio
I know that this is YOUR work, but I have to mention this: I recently finished a 3-act play (I was very sick and needed to know I could do it) and, near the end, I referenced "Jailhouse Rock" and in particular, Judy Tyler, to whom Elvis sang "You're so young and beautiful"., just prior to her terrible death. Anyhow, as with THE BEATLES work, you excelled once again in not only writing a fine work, igniting memories of better days and songs (imagine Elvis doing rap today) and gve us a poem that works on every level.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
|
I know that this is YOUR work, but I have to mention this: I recently finished a 3-act play (I was very sick and needed to know I could do it) and, near the end, I referenced "Jailhouse Rock" and in particular, Judy Tyler, to whom Elvis sang "You're so young and beautiful"., just prior to her terrible death. Anyhow, as with THE BEATLES work, you excelled once again in not only writing a fine work, igniting memories of better days and songs (imagine Elvis doing rap today) and gve us a poem that works on every level.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
-
Jim, thank you so much for your kind rating and very interesting comments! All greatly appreciated. Take care Debbie
Comment from Regina Elliott
Virtual 6 stars. I, and a lot of
people think Elvis was very
overwhelmed by fortune and
fame. I guessing since most
of his concerts were at night,
he had a lot of energy for
the audiences. It's sad what
happened with his life. He
was a good singer. Many
blessings to you
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
|
Virtual 6 stars. I, and a lot of
people think Elvis was very
overwhelmed by fortune and
fame. I guessing since most
of his concerts were at night,
he had a lot of energy for
the audiences. It's sad what
happened with his life. He
was a good singer. Many
blessings to you
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
-
Thanks again, Regina, for your lovely review! I enjoy hearing your thoughts. Take care and have a great weekend. Debbie
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You piqued my interest and curiosity, so I wanted to peruse some more of your offerings! This is equally excellent (though, forgive me, I am not at all an Elvis fan. This past year, though, I had an adult voice student who was, so I became very familiar with lots of his hits.)
Again, you've [forgive me for this, too...] struck a chord (See what I mean? Aren't I just hilarious?...) with me as far as how musically excellent your rhyming and rhythm patterns are. Very, very impressive. But on this one line I felt a hitch in the meter: "left him quite secluded." It felt, to me, like it lacked one beat...like it should have been either "And left him..." or "And leave him..."
Again, super excellent and very creative work, Debbie. I'm so glad I've discovered you here tonight!! I'll be checking in often to enjoy your posts.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
|
You piqued my interest and curiosity, so I wanted to peruse some more of your offerings! This is equally excellent (though, forgive me, I am not at all an Elvis fan. This past year, though, I had an adult voice student who was, so I became very familiar with lots of his hits.)
Again, you've [forgive me for this, too...] struck a chord (See what I mean? Aren't I just hilarious?...) with me as far as how musically excellent your rhyming and rhythm patterns are. Very, very impressive. But on this one line I felt a hitch in the meter: "left him quite secluded." It felt, to me, like it lacked one beat...like it should have been either "And left him..." or "And leave him..."
Again, super excellent and very creative work, Debbie. I'm so glad I've discovered you here tonight!! I'll be checking in often to enjoy your posts.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
-
Rachelle, thank you so much again! Your rating is so kind and I love your comments (if only I had a reviewer vote left..) You're so right about that line but I'm in a bit of a bind to stick to 6 syllables there whilst ending with 'secluded' (so tight!). I'm going to work on it though. Your advice is greatly appreciated as is your humour:)) Take care Debbie
-
You're welcome. Many times, I'm reticent to say anything, lest someone feel 'put out.' But my little voice told me that you're truly here for feedback and growth, so I spoke up. Thanks for accepting it in the spirit in which it is offered. xo
-
Please always say anything. I'll never be offended. Am still looking at changing that line but without an additional syllable and retaining the rhyme I'm a bit stumped. But I will persevere and let you know if I come up with anything..
-
My money's on you!!
-
The joke in our house is that the reason I have the job I do is because all the math it requires is the ability to count to four...and I can do that. But, I'm thinking that a seven-count on line two of that stanza would match the last line of it, right? Right now, isn't it 8 - 6 - 8 - 7?
-
You're so right - I've figured that now (my math's terrible!) so I've changed the whole lot to: Then food and drink would blight his health And leave him quite alone He lost the special majesty That he had long since known. Bless you for taking so much time over this!
-
Oh, I LOVE the new-and-improved version!!! You're my same kind of challenge-triumpher! I'm so glad we've become acquainted!
-
Oh trust me - it has been really bothering me and it was that blasted secluded and exuded that made it a nightmare!
-
But you triumphed!!
Comment from Douglas Goff
Loved it! This is so very well written and laid out. Although you missed my favorite "Jailhouse Rock" , this is a wonderful walk down his musical career.
Very good indeed. Thank you for sharing!
D
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
|
Loved it! This is so very well written and laid out. Although you missed my favorite "Jailhouse Rock" , this is a wonderful walk down his musical career.
Very good indeed. Thank you for sharing!
D
Comment Written 22-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
-
Thank so much, Doug! I'm delighted it triggered some happy memories. It would have been a job getting that song title in - if only he'd had a spell inside! Your feedback is all much appreciated. Debbie
Comment from patcelaw
I really enjoyed your poem. However, I enjoyed more all of your notes that you had written about Elvis. When I lived in California, I had a pastor who could do blue suede shoes, and teddy bear like Elvis and it was amazing. Patricia.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
|
I really enjoyed your poem. However, I enjoyed more all of your notes that you had written about Elvis. When I lived in California, I had a pastor who could do blue suede shoes, and teddy bear like Elvis and it was amazing. Patricia.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
-
Thank you so much, Patricia, for your kind rating and lovely thoughts! I'm delighted the verse triggered some happy memories. Would love to have seen that myself! Take care Debbie
Comment from Paul Manton
Another musical masterpiece, Debbie. I hope you will go on to Buddy Holly and the Everly Brothers - maybe then The Carpenters and perhaps Elton John? Are you sure you don't work for Ken Burns? (I am a fan of PBS America) Fifteen hits this time,and, as usual, in impeccable rhyme and meter. I think you could revise this to get better rhyming words in some places - but that often entails dismantling the whole stanza - as if we didn't both know that! Really entertaining.
Paul
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
|
Another musical masterpiece, Debbie. I hope you will go on to Buddy Holly and the Everly Brothers - maybe then The Carpenters and perhaps Elton John? Are you sure you don't work for Ken Burns? (I am a fan of PBS America) Fifteen hits this time,and, as usual, in impeccable rhyme and meter. I think you could revise this to get better rhyming words in some places - but that often entails dismantling the whole stanza - as if we didn't both know that! Really entertaining.
Paul
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
-
I could be getting a bit predictable here :) Thank you so much, Paul, for your feedback here. I'll keep looking at it and see if I can improve on things. Am delighted it entertained and maybe triggered some memories. Unfortunately, no one paying - I haven't yet been discovered:)) Take care Debbie
-
I'm a fan, Debbie, but I don't have any money either. Disappointing!
-
Your thoughts and suggestions are worth more!
