River of My Life
Flowing sweet waters.20 total reviews
Comment from Ginda Simpson
You have described well the journey of faith from your youthful years to your silver years. Faith is what carries us on the river of life, when the currents are strong and threatening to the still waters of a peaceful lake. Beautiful poem of faith.
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You have described well the journey of faith from your youthful years to your silver years. Faith is what carries us on the river of life, when the currents are strong and threatening to the still waters of a peaceful lake. Beautiful poem of faith.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2023
Comment from Michele Harber
You've always had such a knack for maintaining a metaphor throughout a story, and this is no exception. On a separate note, I love the way you mixed mid-line rhyme and alliteration in "the reef of grief and shattered shells." It has such a wonderful sound, and produces a very clear image. Another excellent job. Good luck in the contest, one I'm actually not entering!
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You've always had such a knack for maintaining a metaphor throughout a story, and this is no exception. On a separate note, I love the way you mixed mid-line rhyme and alliteration in "the reef of grief and shattered shells." It has such a wonderful sound, and produces a very clear image. Another excellent job. Good luck in the contest, one I'm actually not entering!
Comment Written 31-May-2023
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Lisa
This is a very good poem with a strong extended metaphor. It shows how faith can take you past the problems life brings after the time of optimism.
Though with faith, some can stay optimistic even through life's trials.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great rest of the week.
Joan
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Hi Lisa
This is a very good poem with a strong extended metaphor. It shows how faith can take you past the problems life brings after the time of optimism.
Though with faith, some can stay optimistic even through life's trials.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great rest of the week.
Joan
Comment Written 31-May-2023
Comment from royowen
I love the thought that God loves no matter what the age, the season, the circumstance, or the wonder of the place one is found, it's always a joy to Him, because He sees us as perfect, and dances over us with singing, (Zephaniah) beautifully written Jenny, blessings Roy
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I love the thought that God loves no matter what the age, the season, the circumstance, or the wonder of the place one is found, it's always a joy to Him, because He sees us as perfect, and dances over us with singing, (Zephaniah) beautifully written Jenny, blessings Roy
Comment Written 31-May-2023
Comment from Mia Twysted
Life is a journey, and this piece speaks to that journey. Accept each stage and give it all you've got. When the end comes have faith in what is to come and know you lived a life that mattered.
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Life is a journey, and this piece speaks to that journey. Accept each stage and give it all you've got. When the end comes have faith in what is to come and know you lived a life that mattered.
Comment Written 31-May-2023
Comment from patcelaw
I really like how you have presented your faith as a river of life. I enjoyed listening to it very much. I myself have been on that river of life and head mini times when it seem like it was dangerous white wires ahead and yet somehow someway and always took me through it and brought me too morcom and plus it waters. Patricia
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I really like how you have presented your faith as a river of life. I enjoyed listening to it very much. I myself have been on that river of life and head mini times when it seem like it was dangerous white wires ahead and yet somehow someway and always took me through it and brought me too morcom and plus it waters. Patricia
Comment Written 31-May-2023
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I found this to be brilliant and creative.
Here you defined your faith and life in three stages. I first thought the Youth stanza was my favorite, but then the Middle Age, and the Older stanzas I found to be superior.
My favorite lines:
"I saw limitless wide blue waters.
But not the sharks and shipwrecks."
"Beyond the breaking waves
the reef of grief and shattered shells,
my sweet water becomes mixed
with the salt of sweat and tears."
Then you end it with finding peace and calm in your faith.
I have to give you a six for this beautifully penned and creative poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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I found this to be brilliant and creative.
Here you defined your faith and life in three stages. I first thought the Youth stanza was my favorite, but then the Middle Age, and the Older stanzas I found to be superior.
My favorite lines:
"I saw limitless wide blue waters.
But not the sharks and shipwrecks."
"Beyond the breaking waves
the reef of grief and shattered shells,
my sweet water becomes mixed
with the salt of sweat and tears."
Then you end it with finding peace and calm in your faith.
I have to give you a six for this beautifully penned and creative poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 31-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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I appreciate you review so very much!
Comment from Goodadvicechan
It is a clever way of comparing different stages of life with a River.
It is true most people have energy and faith in youth as the poem says,"' At some point, there came a leap of Faith."
At middle age, the sky is the limit.
I enjoy what you say in old age," I lie back and float...."
Thanks for sharing.
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It is a clever way of comparing different stages of life with a River.
It is true most people have energy and faith in youth as the poem says,"' At some point, there came a leap of Faith."
At middle age, the sky is the limit.
I enjoy what you say in old age," I lie back and float...."
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-May-2023
Comment from Bill Schott
This spiritual poem, River of My Life, broken into three cantos, reflects your unsuppressed will, almost limitless drive, now the twinkling mist of all that faith has offered and exposed you to in your life time. Great poem.
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This spiritual poem, River of My Life, broken into three cantos, reflects your unsuppressed will, almost limitless drive, now the twinkling mist of all that faith has offered and exposed you to in your life time. Great poem.
Comment Written 31-May-2023
Comment from Pantygynt
The poet's life is related to the life of the river in its passage from mountain stream to the ocean. I did something similar years ago based on the water cycle where the ocean gets taken up into the clouds to descend on the hillside as rain and so on and on.
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The poet's life is related to the life of the river in its passage from mountain stream to the ocean. I did something similar years ago based on the water cycle where the ocean gets taken up into the clouds to descend on the hillside as rain and so on and on.
Comment Written 31-May-2023
