Straighten Up!
A Tough Crowd7 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I have no idea what (Invisalign) means, is it a brace for teeth? Keeping people in line is not a job I would enjoy, it sounds like a communist type regime to me. I visited the Kremlin in 1976 in Moscow and the Police were keeping people in line, in the queue and they were aggressive and unfriendly and most people were scared, they had guns and they could have used them. A poignant write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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I have no idea what (Invisalign) means, is it a brace for teeth? Keeping people in line is not a job I would enjoy, it sounds like a communist type regime to me. I visited the Kremlin in 1976 in Moscow and the Police were keeping people in line, in the queue and they were aggressive and unfriendly and most people were scared, they had guns and they could have used them. A poignant write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-May-2023
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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Invisalign is a form of braces for teeth. Thanks for reading
Comment from Wendy G
A clever one with an unexpected ending, and you hid the real theme very well, leaving the reader to wait till the very last word. Well done . Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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A clever one with an unexpected ending, and you hid the real theme very well, leaving the reader to wait till the very last word. Well done . Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-May-2023
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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For some reason not everyone gets the story, but you did. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I don't understand your flash fiction plot. Interesting entry for the 100 Word Flash writing prompt contest. Good flash fiction form and word count.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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I don't understand your flash fiction plot. Interesting entry for the 100 Word Flash writing prompt contest. Good flash fiction form and word count.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 23-May-2023
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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Invisalign is a straightening device. Everything I speak of references that. It's a play on words. It is suppose to be comical. It references stubbornness, a little chaos etc. If you have ever had braces, those teeth don't always like to stay in place, just like humans. Not everyone likes to play be the rules. Thanks for reading.
Comment from tempeste
Ciao!
Personally, I have not seen these near invisible braces yet ( on TV yes) , I didn't know they were called Invisalign.
You penned a creative narrative .
This is the best part :
The problem turned out to be a few 'loose cannons' that just wouldn't straighten up.
Hardened by a solid, immovable foundation, all the pressure and force from the effort of containment I offered had little effect on the outcome.
Your words could have been alluding to several possibilities but I'm sure no one thought of crooked teeth and braces yet once we got the revelation your smart wording made sense.
I enjoyed the surprise!
I went and googled... so the results desired are not alway satisfactory.
Also one must wear retainers to keep the teeth in place at least at night for the rest of your life.
Keep safe!
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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Ciao!
Personally, I have not seen these near invisible braces yet ( on TV yes) , I didn't know they were called Invisalign.
You penned a creative narrative .
This is the best part :
The problem turned out to be a few 'loose cannons' that just wouldn't straighten up.
Hardened by a solid, immovable foundation, all the pressure and force from the effort of containment I offered had little effect on the outcome.
Your words could have been alluding to several possibilities but I'm sure no one thought of crooked teeth and braces yet once we got the revelation your smart wording made sense.
I enjoyed the surprise!
I went and googled... so the results desired are not alway satisfactory.
Also one must wear retainers to keep the teeth in place at least at night for the rest of your life.
Keep safe!
Comment Written 23-May-2023
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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My loose cannons were my 'eye' teeth. I always had issues with those dog gone things. It was a fun write that could have had any number of endings. I think the ending has been a surprise to most readers if not all. Very gracious with the stars. Thank you.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Yeah, not everything works out to be as promised or expected. Things get in the way. All one can do is smile and move on. Cute story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Yeah, not everything works out to be as promised or expected. Things get in the way. All one can do is smile and move on. Cute story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-May-2023
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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right on
Comment from Pam (respa)
You wrote a good story with a good topic, and did it creatively without specifically stating the topic. I like your comment about being clever and the comparison to "loose cannons." The closing section is excellent with "cavity of chaos." Your outcome wasn't what was anticipated and I can imagine the frustration at that. A clever story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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You wrote a good story with a good topic, and did it creatively without specifically stating the topic. I like your comment about being clever and the comparison to "loose cannons." The closing section is excellent with "cavity of chaos." Your outcome wasn't what was anticipated and I can imagine the frustration at that. A clever story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-May-2023
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Thanks. It's the 'Oh Henry' ending.
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You are very welcome and thanks for sharing. He did have a way with endings and humor.
Comment from Doc Fin
This was fun! An unexpected arrival at the end of the journey. I had to read it again when I got to the end the first time. I love the way you turned language into a multi-use tool.
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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This was fun! An unexpected arrival at the end of the journey. I had to read it again when I got to the end the first time. I love the way you turned language into a multi-use tool.
Comment Written 22-May-2023
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Very nice. Thanks
