She Smiles
I never stopped thinking of this girl.2 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, She Smiles, has the proper word count, but seems a bit stiff. Why have a secretary, when he/she has no function other than relaying the unlikely message that the woman says she's a voice from his past. That sounds like something he would realize himself.
I'm sorry to be kibbitzing; I just think you have too much going on in the story on the front end and too little at the end.
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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This one-hundred-word story, She Smiles, has the proper word count, but seems a bit stiff. Why have a secretary, when he/she has no function other than relaying the unlikely message that the woman says she's a voice from his past. That sounds like something he would realize himself.
I'm sorry to be kibbitzing; I just think you have too much going on in the story on the front end and too little at the end.
Comment Written 22-May-2023
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Oh, well. Thanks for taking the time to read and provide feedback.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Ah, the temptress has returned. There is a lot of unrecorded history in this brief story, but something tells me it spelled trouble once before. Best to keep going.
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Ah, the temptress has returned. There is a lot of unrecorded history in this brief story, but something tells me it spelled trouble once before. Best to keep going.
Comment Written 22-May-2023
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to read and provide feedback.
