WWII Veteran Soldier
A retired U.S. Veteran remembers.3 total reviews
Comment from jbannon
Good story but too much telling instead of showing. Just my humble opinion. It doesn't read like a story to me but an editorial piece. Best of luck with your writing.
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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Good story but too much telling instead of showing. Just my humble opinion. It doesn't read like a story to me but an editorial piece. Best of luck with your writing.
Comment Written 23-May-2023
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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Thank you!
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I will try harder to tell in my fiction stories. I will get better at it.
Comment from Bill Schott
This hundred-word story would normally trigger a positive reply from me, but the fiction of the piece overrides the sentiment. An eighty-year-old man would have just been born in 1943. Neither a veteran nor dancing with his wife at two-years old.
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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This hundred-word story would normally trigger a positive reply from me, but the fiction of the piece overrides the sentiment. An eighty-year-old man would have just been born in 1943. Neither a veteran nor dancing with his wife at two-years old.
Comment Written 22-May-2023
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Thank you!
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I have changed the age. Is it better for a five star rating now? Can you please take another look? Thank you for your help!
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I get the sense that this story would be happening today. If so, make the man one hundred years old.
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Okay, it's done. Please take another look. Is it good enough now?
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Your short piece appears to meet the word count requirement for the 100 Word Flash contest. It's a great subject but, unfortunately, I felt the story was a bit disjointed. It is possible that you meant for it to be that way as the remembrances of an elderly war veteran, however I felt like you were possibly distracted from working your story line to make the word count correct. Still, a good entry for the contest - good luck.
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Your short piece appears to meet the word count requirement for the 100 Word Flash contest. It's a great subject but, unfortunately, I felt the story was a bit disjointed. It is possible that you meant for it to be that way as the remembrances of an elderly war veteran, however I felt like you were possibly distracted from working your story line to make the word count correct. Still, a good entry for the contest - good luck.
Comment Written 22-May-2023
reply by the author on 22-May-2023
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Thank you!
