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free verse12 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Lovely opening verse Bill about the fear of loneliness never leaving you alone, an emotional start. I like the metaphor of the cheese puff in a bag of popcorn too. I can relate to this, as after my husband died the worst loneliness was when I was alone in a group. Lovely free verse where your thoughts and emotions have flowed, and to me they are the best sort.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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Lovely opening verse Bill about the fear of loneliness never leaving you alone, an emotional start. I like the metaphor of the cheese puff in a bag of popcorn too. I can relate to this, as after my husband died the worst loneliness was when I was alone in a group. Lovely free verse where your thoughts and emotions have flowed, and to me they are the best sort.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 23-May-2023
reply by the author on 23-May-2023
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Thank you, Valda, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from nomi338
If you feel lonely even when surrounded by people you know, that means you are not at peace with yourself. When you are at peace with who you are You are happy whether you are alone or with a multitude of people. On the other hand if you are shunned by everyone you know, you may just need some deodorant.
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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If you feel lonely even when surrounded by people you know, that means you are not at peace with yourself. When you are at peace with who you are You are happy whether you are alone or with a multitude of people. On the other hand if you are shunned by everyone you know, you may just need some deodorant.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Where's that Right Guard?
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Heh, heh, heh.
Comment from BethShelby
This is an interesting free verse poem. Someone concerned with being left behind when everyone else's gone is fear someone might have if they considered themselves imortal or invincible to destruction. Most be fear death, not life without anyone else around. I like the thought of running in a crowd like a cheese puff in a bag of popcorn. This sounds like one alone even in the midst of a clowd. In a sense we are alone in own minds, since all of are unique. It's a cool poem worth thinking about.
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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This is an interesting free verse poem. Someone concerned with being left behind when everyone else's gone is fear someone might have if they considered themselves imortal or invincible to destruction. Most be fear death, not life without anyone else around. I like the thought of running in a crowd like a cheese puff in a bag of popcorn. This sounds like one alone even in the midst of a clowd. In a sense we are alone in own minds, since all of are unique. It's a cool poem worth thinking about.
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Thank you, Beth, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Mary Vigasin
The picture is perfect to match these powerful words of one feeling totally alone even in a crowd. The cheese puff line hammers down the feeling of being out of place.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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The picture is perfect to match these powerful words of one feeling totally alone even in a crowd. The cheese puff line hammers down the feeling of being out of place.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Thank you, Mary
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aw, Bill, that is so sad! I'm sure this isn't biographical, but you have captured that sense of loneliness perfectly. It's so true, you can still be lonely when in a crowd. Very well done, my friend, this is an excellent contest entry, and I wish you the very best of luck! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Aw, Bill, that is so sad! I'm sure this isn't biographical, but you have captured that sense of loneliness perfectly. It's so true, you can still be lonely when in a crowd. Very well done, my friend, this is an excellent contest entry, and I wish you the very best of luck! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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Thank you, Sandra, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
In the end, we can only rely on ourselves to get what we want and I have never relied on others in that way. Many people cannot take responsibility for their own life and they are scared to be on their own and this is misconstrued as loneliness.
Standing on our own two feet and getting on with life takes courage and determination and fear of being alone is something we succumb to when we allow our fear to take control.
Being a cheese-puff in a bag of popcorn makes us stand out from the crowd as something special, not someone left alone, that's my view anyway, ha ha ha, a poignant write, deep and meaningful, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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In the end, we can only rely on ourselves to get what we want and I have never relied on others in that way. Many people cannot take responsibility for their own life and they are scared to be on their own and this is misconstrued as loneliness.
Standing on our own two feet and getting on with life takes courage and determination and fear of being alone is something we succumb to when we allow our fear to take control.
Being a cheese-puff in a bag of popcorn makes us stand out from the crowd as something special, not someone left alone, that's my view anyway, ha ha ha, a poignant write, deep and meaningful, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 21-May-2023
reply by the author on 21-May-2023
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This poem has seemed to poke a bear of feelings about the subject. Thank you, Dolly, for your soulful response. Bill
Comment from eliz100
I enjoyed reading your poem. I especially like a cheese puff in a bag of popcorn. You are alone in a group and alone when they are gone. There is no room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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I enjoyed reading your poem. I especially like a cheese puff in a bag of popcorn. You are alone in a group and alone when they are gone. There is no room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 20-May-2023
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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Thank you, Elizabeth
Comment from Sally Law
This is a powerful poem on being in a crowd yet feeling totally alone. Wonderfully penned and illustrated in free verse. Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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This is a powerful poem on being in a crowd yet feeling totally alone. Wonderfully penned and illustrated in free verse. Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 20-May-2023
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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Thank you, Sally, for the great review. Bill
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Bill,
like everyone who read this free verse, your image of a cheese Puff in a bag of popcorn __ running will be fully engaging... it actually stalled me right there thinking about the actual image of. So, great use of a clever device within you metaphor.
Again, very clever to switch your meaning around in conclusion... not that' you be left behind, but rather, still in your lane while others' turn left. Yes, very imaginative write Bill, enjoyed very much by this reader.
All the very best wishes in this contest.
With our thoughts we create...
our own lane.
Kind regards,
James.
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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Hi Bill,
like everyone who read this free verse, your image of a cheese Puff in a bag of popcorn __ running will be fully engaging... it actually stalled me right there thinking about the actual image of. So, great use of a clever device within you metaphor.
Again, very clever to switch your meaning around in conclusion... not that' you be left behind, but rather, still in your lane while others' turn left. Yes, very imaginative write Bill, enjoyed very much by this reader.
All the very best wishes in this contest.
With our thoughts we create...
our own lane.
Kind regards,
James.
Comment Written 20-May-2023
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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I like what you see in this piece, James.
Comment from lyenochka
The simile of a "cheese puff
in a bag of popcorn" really stands out! The poem starts out very seriously until that part. But it's visually impactful. Best wishes in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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The simile of a "cheese puff
in a bag of popcorn" really stands out! The poem starts out very seriously until that part. But it's visually impactful. Best wishes in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-May-2023
reply by the author on 20-May-2023
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Thank you, Helen, for the great review. Bill
