He Climbed Mt Everest
Mountaineer Sir Ed Hillary8 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A fine epic verse about this truly heroic man. Your background knowledge and admiration for this man emerge impressively throughout and add an extra dimension to this man's famous achievement. I would only say that sometimes fluency and meter are forfeited for rhyme which can give the verse a bumpy feel. But all in all a good contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
  |
A fine epic verse about this truly heroic man. Your background knowledge and admiration for this man emerge impressively throughout and add an extra dimension to this man's famous achievement. I would only say that sometimes fluency and meter are forfeited for rhyme which can give the verse a bumpy feel. But all in all a good contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 22-May-2023
Comment from Wendy G
An epic indeed. A man of valour, courage and compassion. I did not know he lost his family in an aeroplane crash. Your poem pays excellent tribute to him - as a man, as a mountaineer, as one who worked hard for and with the people of Nepal, and as one who overcame significant personal grief. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
|
An epic indeed. A man of valour, courage and compassion. I did not know he lost his family in an aeroplane crash. Your poem pays excellent tribute to him - as a man, as a mountaineer, as one who worked hard for and with the people of Nepal, and as one who overcame significant personal grief. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 22-May-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You certainly created an epic poem here and I loved the tribute and your well chosen skilful words to tell the story of his adventure here, much enjoyed, a great post for the contest, love Dolly x
|
You certainly created an epic poem here and I loved the tribute and your well chosen skilful words to tell the story of his adventure here, much enjoyed, a great post for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-May-2023
Comment from De'Vanese John-Baptiste
Wonderful job with the rhyme scheme! It felt like the topic was a tad forced, which made it read sort of children's book-like at times. However, there is nothing wrong with that as long as you are aware of the tone. This story actually encaptured me half-way through. I think allowing characters to have struggles they persevere through makes it easier for a reader to emotionally connect with them-great job!
 |
Wonderful job with the rhyme scheme! It felt like the topic was a tad forced, which made it read sort of children's book-like at times. However, there is nothing wrong with that as long as you are aware of the tone. This story actually encaptured me half-way through. I think allowing characters to have struggles they persevere through makes it easier for a reader to emotionally connect with them-great job!
Comment Written 19-May-2023
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, He Climbed Mt. Everest, presented with eighteen ABAB-rhymed quatrains, sings the praises of the Kiwi Klimber who bested the mountain and then devoted much time and treasure to the people of Nepal.
|
This poem, He Climbed Mt. Everest, presented with eighteen ABAB-rhymed quatrains, sings the praises of the Kiwi Klimber who bested the mountain and then devoted much time and treasure to the people of Nepal.
Comment Written 19-May-2023
Comment from royowen
Anybody who was around in 1953 would remember that epic achievement. It holds the distinction of being the first, and thst is a great one, considering all the attempts before.had failed, many have succeeded since, but that remains their wonderful story. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo ; Himalayas(') forbidding peak(s)
Suggestion, with praise the tongue still speaks.
Typo : With tread they tread. (Wrong tense) should be trod. Suggestion, With firm resolve, their feet still trod. 3rd line, secured in knowledge of Earth's sod.
|
Anybody who was around in 1953 would remember that epic achievement. It holds the distinction of being the first, and thst is a great one, considering all the attempts before.had failed, many have succeeded since, but that remains their wonderful story. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo ; Himalayas(') forbidding peak(s)
Suggestion, with praise the tongue still speaks.
Typo : With tread they tread. (Wrong tense) should be trod. Suggestion, With firm resolve, their feet still trod. 3rd line, secured in knowledge of Earth's sod.
Comment Written 19-May-2023
Comment from kiwisteveh
Well, I'd better give this one a good review!
Sir Ed and his initial rise to fame and the many good deeds he achieved later in life are all well known to me, but you did a good job of adapting them to rhyming verse. I was born in 1952 so also close to the time of his conquering of Everest.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
(Kiwi) Steve
reply by the author on 19-May-2023
|
Well, I'd better give this one a good review!
Sir Ed and his initial rise to fame and the many good deeds he achieved later in life are all well known to me, but you did a good job of adapting them to rhyming verse. I was born in 1952 so also close to the time of his conquering of Everest.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
(Kiwi) Steve
Comment Written 19-May-2023
reply by the author on 19-May-2023
-
Thanks for reviewing, Steve. Ed is certainly a national hero. Quite a lot more has come out recently about how pilot negligence caused the plane crash.
Comment from zanya
This does a fine job on being an Epic poem- recalling the achievements of a human being whose name will forever be remembered- poetry is a wonderful medium for offering a snapshot of a significant and that is well illustrated here.
reply by the author on 19-May-2023
 |
This does a fine job on being an Epic poem- recalling the achievements of a human being whose name will forever be remembered- poetry is a wonderful medium for offering a snapshot of a significant and that is well illustrated here.
Comment Written 19-May-2023
reply by the author on 19-May-2023
-
Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I admire Sir Ed very much. I met him once... a sincerely nice guy with no airs and graces of importance.
