Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

Hi, Debbie - I enjoyed your poetic re-telling of an old joke which required some skill to package it into sonnet form. I remember doing similar stuff a few years ago when I ran short of original material for my rhyming poems.

Let's drink a toast to Sean's health! He is after all only drinking two pints each time in his new regime!

Steve

 Comment Written 23-May-2023

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reply by the author on 23-May-2023

Thank you so much for your kind rating and review. Still think yours should have been the winner! Take care Debbie

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

Ha ha ha. I love this very funny poem and also the style that it is written in. Such a good punch line.
I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Jen

 Comment Written 23-May-2023

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reply by the author on 23-May-2023

Thank you so much for your very generous rating and feedback which is greatly valued. I'm delighted you found it funny! Take care Debbie

Comment from Heather Bagley

Excellent

I can totally see the bar tender with a furrowed brow and asking if this guy's buddies are alright and the man responds with "No, they're fine, I just have a drinking problem," like it's no big deal. lovely poem! ~Heather

 Comment Written 23-May-2023

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reply by the author on 23-May-2023

Thank you so much, Heather, for your kind rating and feedback all greatly valued! take care Debbie

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

I enjoyed the read of this poem. The poem flows and connects well. I like the words above the title! The author certainly made it clear in the words of this poem. I liked the message presented. The artwork is awesome and
compliments the words of this poem. Great poem!

 Comment Written 22-May-2023

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reply by the author on 23-May-2023

Thank you so much for your kind rating and such thoughtful comments which are all greatly valued. Take care Debbie

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Good entry for the Sonnet Humor contest. But i have a hard time with these Awkward sentences....

"He asks the barman if three pints he'd get"

Maybe...."he asks the barman for three pints?"

""T'is but a pact I've made with brothers two"

T'is a pact I've made with my two brothers?

I get you are trying to rhyme but it sounds weird. I don't like rhymed Poetry for this reason, poet's have to force the flow. Anyway, it's more about me than you. I'm sure it's fine.

 Comment Written 22-May-2023

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reply by the author on 22-May-2023

Thank you so much for your kind rating and feedback. With hindsight I agree with what you're saying although I think I was trying to get a hint of an Irish accent there (obviously failing!). But I will definitely learn from what you say. Trouble is I love rhymed poetry! Best wishes. Please don't worry that you might have been harsh. I really need honest critique like that. I'm quite new at sonnets, having really messed up on my first. The issue is always of course the iambic pentameter beat which has to fit into the 10 syllables and sometimes logical word order is forfeited in the process. Take care Debbie

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 22-May-2023

Don't take my review too serious, I don't know anything about rhyme poetry. I am a free verse japanese poetry. I just gave you my feedback, you didn't fail. I am sorry I came through so harsh.

reply by the author on 23-May-2023

No please don't worry - I really need your critique! The issue is with these lines fitting into 10 syllables whilst retaining the iambic pentameter rhythm. So things like logical word order - tend to be secondary. Mind you, others have clearly mastered this technique.

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 23-May-2023

I know what you mean, that's why I don't write in rhyme. I would read dolly's sonnets. She is a master.

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

Roll out the barrel: this song came to mind when I was reading your poem. We have several breweries around our neck of the neighborhood. Also wineries. I was thinking it was moderation drinking in your poem. Fraternity can get carried away on binge drinking.

 Comment Written 21-May-2023

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reply by the author on 22-May-2023

Thank you so much for your rating and comments, all so greatly valued!

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Oh I think you passed the Sonnet humour test with this one, it certainly had me chuckling, I guess that's one way to give up drinking. Well done and good luck in the contest, cheers.

 Comment Written 20-May-2023

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reply by the author on 21-May-2023

Thank you so much for your kind rating and encouraging thoughts. It's always a worry when it comes to humour. Best wishes.

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

I like the way you correlated the amount of drinking with your friends that live far away and possible death.
The trick ending was wonderfully created and good luck with your contest entry!
Doctor Ricky

 Comment Written 20-May-2023

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reply by the author on 21-May-2023

Thank you so much for your kind rating and encouraging thoughts. It's always a worry when it comes to humour. Best wishes.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

Yeats, and Wilde, Beckett and Heaney haven't much ahead of you.
Did the lad in abstinence, set aside his frothy brews permanently. Hard for an Irishman to do, I suspect.

 Comment Written 20-May-2023

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reply by the author on 20-May-2023

Thank you so much, Tom, for your humorous feedback.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this sonnet contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading this and wish you luck with the contest. I'm wondering why this sonnet isn't on the poetry side of the house.

 Comment Written 19-May-2023

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reply by the author on 19-May-2023

Thank you so much for your kind rating and comments as well as pointing out the error in the category. I'm hopefully going to get this fixed with Tom. Best wishes.