We Honor the Fallen
A Memorial Day Poem7 total reviews
Comment from Charles W. Johnson
There's a simple eloquence to this poem that I enjoyed. A fine tribute to our fallen heroes. Solid rhymes. The meter jumps and could be smoothed by a few word changes to equal out the syllables among the lines, but it's not a critical setback.
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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There's a simple eloquence to this poem that I enjoyed. A fine tribute to our fallen heroes. Solid rhymes. The meter jumps and could be smoothed by a few word changes to equal out the syllables among the lines, but it's not a critical setback.
Comment Written 15-May-2023
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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Charles thank you! You are so correct, and I have rewritten this.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
An excellent verse well expressed with four rhyming quatrains. The rhyming is solid and in general the flow is good -perfect in the beginning but your later longer final sentences of each stanza make the rhythm a bit bumpy. Just by removing the odd word/syllable in those lines it wouldn't change the sense but definitely improve the flow e.g. Their service and their legacy; And keep alive their eternal flame; And that we owe to everyone. If you say it out loud with a beat it can help. These are only my thoughts please remember. You've basically done a good job with fine visual, making this a worthy contender for the contest. Good luck and best wishes Debbie
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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An excellent verse well expressed with four rhyming quatrains. The rhyming is solid and in general the flow is good -perfect in the beginning but your later longer final sentences of each stanza make the rhythm a bit bumpy. Just by removing the odd word/syllable in those lines it wouldn't change the sense but definitely improve the flow e.g. Their service and their legacy; And keep alive their eternal flame; And that we owe to everyone. If you say it out loud with a beat it can help. These are only my thoughts please remember. You've basically done a good job with fine visual, making this a worthy contender for the contest. Good luck and best wishes Debbie
Comment Written 15-May-2023
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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Debbie thank you! You are so correct, and I have rewritten this.
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That's perfect! Love it.
Comment from Galileo Berenstein
*Clap clap clap* Wow, this is a very good poem. You should write more poems like this. And the prompt for the poem makes it even more beautiful. Amazing.
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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*Clap clap clap* Wow, this is a very good poem. You should write more poems like this. And the prompt for the poem makes it even more beautiful. Amazing.
Comment Written 15-May-2023
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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Thankl you.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
You have written a beautiful tribute to our service men and women, to whom we owe the privilege of living in a free country. They and their families are to be honored for their countless sacrifices. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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You have written a beautiful tribute to our service men and women, to whom we owe the privilege of living in a free country. They and their families are to be honored for their countless sacrifices. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-May-2023
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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Thank you, Ginda
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine well rhymed and metered write to pay a tribute to all soldiers who have fought for freedom and I enjoyed your fine words for the contest, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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A fine well rhymed and metered write to pay a tribute to all soldiers who have fought for freedom and I enjoyed your fine words for the contest, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 15-May-2023
reply by the author on 16-May-2023
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Dolly, thanks I worked on the meter.
Comment from royowen
The civil war cost as many lives as all the other theatres of war combined, but it's not usually the setting free of people, we tend to return to the ways before the wars were fought. Beautifully written poem my friend, an excellent post, great narrative and rhyming, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
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The civil war cost as many lives as all the other theatres of war combined, but it's not usually the setting free of people, we tend to return to the ways before the wars were fought. Beautifully written poem my friend, an excellent post, great narrative and rhyming, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
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Roy, thank you so very much. Jim
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Welcome
Comment from Regina Elliott
Dear Poet, this is a very stellar
Memorial Day tribute poem.
The rhyming is melodious,
the message somber and
honoring our fallen. Very
best wishes for the contest.
Many blessings ~
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
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Dear Poet, this is a very stellar
Memorial Day tribute poem.
The rhyming is melodious,
the message somber and
honoring our fallen. Very
best wishes for the contest.
Many blessings ~
Comment Written 15-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
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Thank you!
