Perfect query letter.
Prose example to guarantee rejection.7 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This is kind of a query letter of some sort. Being it was addressed to a magazine, and the manuscript was sent via mail. There is a sh ... sh effect in the image. Is this troublesome to see?
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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This is kind of a query letter of some sort. Being it was addressed to a magazine, and the manuscript was sent via mail. There is a sh ... sh effect in the image. Is this troublesome to see?
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Rosemary. This is satire in its rawest form. This tongue in cheek query letter was to illustrate what not to do if one was serious about being published.
All the best, Yard
Comment from LJbutterfly
Wow! I was so relieved by your author's note. I thought you thought this letter would actually be read by an agent or publisher. Now that I know better (I went back and saw you guaranteed rejection), I can honestly say, this is humorously and cleverly written to pitch a book that would surely reach the top ten most read books an the U.S. This letter is also an impressive entry in the contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Wow! I was so relieved by your author's note. I thought you thought this letter would actually be read by an agent or publisher. Now that I know better (I went back and saw you guaranteed rejection), I can honestly say, this is humorously and cleverly written to pitch a book that would surely reach the top ten most read books an the U.S. This letter is also an impressive entry in the contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Thank you, LJ. This is satire in its rawest form. This tongue in cheek query letter was to illustrate what not to do if one was serious about being published. Glad you got it (;-o)
All the best, Yard
Comment from Julie Lau
Clever, witty, wild, wandering whither and yon, what? what? what?... oh yes, I see your point now, it's coming together, oh that's really very good, well done, writer!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Clever, witty, wild, wandering whither and yon, what? what? what?... oh yes, I see your point now, it's coming together, oh that's really very good, well done, writer!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Julie. This is satire in its rawest form. This tongue in cheek query letter was to illustrate what not to do if one was serious about being published. Glad you got it!
All the best, Yard
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Yo, Yard!
I've got your back, Yard!
Okay, I'll stop now.
Cheers,
Julie L
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a fun piece of tongue-in-cheek writing in the form of a publishing request for an intriguingly named "Cooking in Cancun" by a former barista. Humorous, deviating and self-deprecating, it says all the wrong things as though to invite rejection which it is sure to do. The story is expressed faultlessly, is structured well and ends with an hilarious final line. A good read packed with humour and imagination: "After all who in their right mind would print....." Well done and good luck in this contest at least! Debbie
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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This is a fun piece of tongue-in-cheek writing in the form of a publishing request for an intriguingly named "Cooking in Cancun" by a former barista. Humorous, deviating and self-deprecating, it says all the wrong things as though to invite rejection which it is sure to do. The story is expressed faultlessly, is structured well and ends with an hilarious final line. A good read packed with humour and imagination: "After all who in their right mind would print....." Well done and good luck in this contest at least! Debbie
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Thank you,Debbie. This is satire in its rawest form. This tongue in cheek query letter was to illustrate what not to do if one was serious about being published. Glad you got it!
All the best, Yard
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Yes, I can see why this query letter was rejected. There are too many run-on sentences and too many references to God and the likes of past writers from the magazine. This speaks too loudly and proudly about the author. And for another thing, this was way too long to read. But haha, I enjoyed reading this query letter, and good luck with the contest.
Jesse
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Yes, I can see why this query letter was rejected. There are too many run-on sentences and too many references to God and the likes of past writers from the magazine. This speaks too loudly and proudly about the author. And for another thing, this was way too long to read. But haha, I enjoyed reading this query letter, and good luck with the contest.
Jesse
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Jesse. This is satire in its rawest form. This tongue in cheek query letter was to illustrate what not to do if one was serious about being published. Glad you got it!
All the best, Yard
Comment from Mario PIERRE
When the contest requirements said: creative approach welcomed, you took that to word!!! Your post is hilarious, original and outstandingly creative. Very well done.
I only hope that Jann won't dare put that unique letter in the slushpile!!!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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When the contest requirements said: creative approach welcomed, you took that to word!!! Your post is hilarious, original and outstandingly creative. Very well done.
I only hope that Jann won't dare put that unique letter in the slushpile!!!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Mario. This is satire in its rawest form. This tongue in cheek query letter was to illustrate what not to do if one was serious about being published. Glad you got it!
All the best, Yard
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice concept. Well written.
'irk his ire or goad him' - I thought for sure that you would 'goad his goat'
'sign a check or not..' - oops
Good luck in the contest and best wishes.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Nice concept. Well written.
'irk his ire or goad him' - I thought for sure that you would 'goad his goat'
'sign a check or not..' - oops
Good luck in the contest and best wishes.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Wayne. This is satire in its rawest form. This tongue in cheek query letter was to illustrate what not to do if one was serious about being published. Glad you got it!
All the best, Yard
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Oh, don't let anything I say fool you. I know all too well how NOT to be published! (huge smiley face here)
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LOL!