Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Jim,
I read the chapter the day you posted but fell asleep before I could review. It had nothing to do with your story. I took a part-time job in the deli of a new market that opened up in town, and find myself working 60 hour weeks due to the grand opening business. Not what I signed up for!

This chapter took an unexpected turn for sure, though true in real life circumstances!

Looking forward to what happens next!
John

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2023

Hey, that's pretty cool, John! Do you get to sample the delectables?
I'd be afraid of turning into a blimp with a job like that. I can see where 60 hours/week is more than you signed up for. Hopefully things will slow down some after the grand opening.

The story will end on a happier note. No worries.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

A different twist fir sure, but I liked it.
Peculiar I am about death, I only cried twice with a passing. My dog ast year where I held him as the vet administer the lethal dose, and my best man, a golf pro, Vietnam vet, who surpassed to Agent Orange. Mom and dad, it was understood. Age gets us all.

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023

Thank you, Tom. You can't always tell what will make you cry. It's similar with me. I never cried when I lost my parents either, but similar things to you made me cry too.

reply by Tom Horonzy on 23-Apr-2023

two peas in a pod?!

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

A thoroughly entertaining read, easy to fall into with no grammatical or flow issues. O found your term 'shutes and ladders' interesting - on our side of the pond we call it snakes and ladders. kay

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023

"Snakes and Ladders!" Who knew? I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, despite the rotten turn for Eddie. It will start to get better again.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Oh, Jim -- you couldn't have waited one more day to post this ... after the Fanstory six truck backs up to my door with a whole new weekly supply? This was such a moving chapter with the forced hilarity that Eddie needed because of little Emily and the tension created by his recently announced news of his impending death. It's hard to create that tension, then maintain it throughout the chapter. But when done so masterfully, as you accomplished it, it makes for a powerful chapter.

Great job, my friend

Jay

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023

I always run out of 6s too. The plague of those of us who review a lot. I sent in a suggestion to Tom to award more 6s when you surpass the average number of reviews made so that they don't become so diluted for the heavier reviewers. He said he added it to his "wish list."

Thanks for your kind words about this chapter, Jay. A happier part of the story will be coming as we approach the end.

reply by Jay Squires on 23-Apr-2023

I can't think of any other writer's forum where the owner is so down to earth and caring as Tom.
Jay

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

This is a heartfelt chapter as Eddie admits to having a fatal illness and Kenny can hardly bear the loss of his best friend. The trip to Scotland will be the cherry topping Eddie's life. I hope he is well enough to play.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023

Thanks so much, Carol. I will post that chapter of the story very soon.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This is so sad, it seems that Eddie, one of our main characters has pancreatic cancer, of the least survivable forms we can be diagnosed with. Bur Scotland is a wonderful place to journey, I have had two memorable trips there, I've seen St. Andrews, but only from a distance. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

It will get happier again. :) I went to Scotland once and saw St. Andrews as well. Majestic place!

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

A really enjoyable read, well written and with good pace and character development. The story with Eddie at the heart of it is a sad evolving one so I'll be watching this space with interest. By the way, we call it Snakes and Ladders in the UK , just thought I'd mention it! Thanks for sharing this fine piece of fiction. Best wishes, Debbie

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Thank you, Debbie. It will get happy again. Snakes and Ladders! Cool!

Comment from Evelyn Hopkins

Excellent

This a very interesting story! I like the plot and thought-provoking words. I also like the imagery and picture you have used. I'm interested in knowing more about your story :)

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Thank you, Evelyn. This story was the first piece of fiction writing I have ever done and was originally written in 2016. I have since modified it a few times before the version I'm sharing on FanStory. I don't know whether or not you read my other book called Some Call It Luck that I posted a few months ago in its entirety on FS, but I actually borrowed parts of Lucky Eddie to go into that one. I also pulled from two other books that have the same characters in them to create Some Call It Luck which I am now attempting to find an agent for and hopefully get published via the traditional route. Or, is no luck there, I may self-publish it. Lucky Eddie is already on Amazon as an e-book only.

Comment from Julie Lau

Excellent

Oh, things have taken a sad turn. I visited St. Andrews a few years ago and it was the coldest, most miserable place. A cold wind cut right through my clothes as if they were tissue, the sky was so grey ... I suppose they invented golf to take their minds off it all!

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Don't worry. Things will look up again soon.

I also visited St. Andrews once about 23 years ago, and the weather wasn't too bad that day. I think your theory about golf may be spot on.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I don't like the idea of only three chapters to go. I really like this story and of course the characters, although, fiction have become friends.

There's Lions Municiple Golf Course, affectionately called 'The Muny' in Austin, Texas. My husband has played it a few times. It opened in 1924. I guess around 1935 Albert Warren "Tilly" Tillinghas redesigned it. Anyway, it has history. Our grandson is a golfer and was visiting last summer and of all the places we visited, it was his favorite. He is a golfer.

I came over and sat next to him then (sat beside him)

I've heard, though, that it's not that easy to get to play The Old Course." (omit the first 'that' the second one is needed)

Abby and I sat down on the porch, (omit 'down')

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

I'll bet he enjoyed that course. I've played several A.W. Tillinghast courses, including the one I used to caddie at, and enjoyed them all. He was a master architect of the "Golden Age of Golf Course Architecture" in the early 1900s, and his courses have stood the test of time.

Thanks for your kind words about the story and the characters, Barbara. It means a lot to me. Sometime soon, I will post a few short stories with these characters that are actually extracted from some of the other works I wrote before combining them into Some Call It Luck. They'll be able to stand on their own.