Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

How true this poem is; the kids get up late and they try to get ready to make the bus anyway. You have the sneaky suspicion that the bus will soon stop to pick them up. They are getting your coat on, and then you see the bus drive on by.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

Exactly! Haha thank you so much for this awesome review.
Xo
Jessica

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Haha, so true probably for others, too, Jessica.
I enjoyed your fun 575. Great job with the syllable
count per line. The art choice was a perfect addition.
Your message came through loud and clear.
Thanks for sharing, Jan

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

lol Jan, thank you so much! I'm so glad to know the message here was received haha
Thank you for your feedback! Xo
Jessica

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

LOL! a great senryu!! yes, the snooze button does get in the way sometimes lol

good word choices and flow

one suggestion i have is maybe try
a light blue background (to blend in with the sky)
or
a yellowish background (to blend in with the bus)
??
just a couple thoughts ;)


thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

Thank you again, Shelley! I will try that!

Comment from Alexandra Trovato

Excellent

I can relate to this, from decades ago. I was a teacher, too, so I had to get both my daughter and myself off to school. With just a few words you tell a whole story. Good writing! :)) Alrx

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

Thank you, Alex!:)

Comment from Mario PIERRE

Excellent

Really subtle and funny poem. It conveys very well the rage and despair parents can experience while trying to juggle with everyday nightmares: get the kids ready to get onto the school bus!!!
Great entry!

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

Thank you so much, Mario!

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Ah yes, that does happen! A realistic situation, and I can imagine the feelings to follow. Well written. Sending best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

Thank you, Wendy!

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

Hi You, LOL...I think you'll find a few
on here that will relate to your poem...

I can't tell you how many times I would
hit the alarm...and just reset it...LOL...
those were the days...

I love your poem my sweet friend...
picture perfect...very well thought of...
very well written...love you...Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

Linda you are the best, thank you!
<3

reply by l.raven on 18-Apr-2023

your so very welcome...
love xxoo

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, thank you for sharing. Great entry for the Write a Humorous 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. Who doesn't like to use the snooze button? LOL

Good syllable count and connection between lines. Beautiful presentation and imagery. The satori is a good twist. Good luck in the contest.

Good job,

Gypsy

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023

Thank you, Gypsy! I truly appreciate it!

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

This is a great 5-7-5 for the prompt, mysterious poet. Humorous and so true to my life ten times over! Delightful jab at the evil clock function too. Sending you my best today as always and best for the upcoming contest.
Sal :))

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023

Thank you so much!

Comment from Julie Lau

Excellent

Well, darn! You have managed to present this exasperating/amusing situation perfectly in the few syllables permitted. Good luck in the contest. Julie Lau

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023

Thanks so much, Julie!