Busted
And his own daughter ratted him out39 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I don't really understand what this three year old is saying here? Is she pretending that her Mother is hiding instead of not being there? Or is she saying they spend too much time in the back room? I didn't quite get it, but I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
  |
I don't really understand what this three year old is saying here? Is she pretending that her Mother is hiding instead of not being there? Or is she saying they spend too much time in the back room? I didn't quite get it, but I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
You may want to read it once more Dolly. It may be more clear now. Just came back from changing a couple words. I forget that not everyone has weekly ice cream trucks stop with pushy salesmen, where dads would rather hide in the back room than answer the door. Lol, had nothing to do with the mom at all. Thanks for reading and reviewing Dolly.
-
I see now it is the ice cream van calling? That is why you are hiding in the back room, it is clear to me now, what a lot of fun, sorry I misinterpreted your poem, good luck x x x
-
Oh thank you so much Dolly for taking the time and caring enough about it to respond. Now that is a great review.
Means a lot my friend.
-
You are most welcome x
Comment from BethShelby
Trust a kid to tell the truth in spite of what her parents says. I got more spanking for speaking up with my version of honesty and embarrassing my parents in front of their friends. I learned sometime children are to be seen and not heard. LOL
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
|
Trust a kid to tell the truth in spite of what her parents says. I got more spanking for speaking up with my version of honesty and embarrassing my parents in front of their friends. I learned sometime children are to be seen and not heard. LOL
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Thanks Beth. Yes, my husband would rather hide from the Schwan's man than put up with the pushy salesman. Thanks for reading, reviewing and your fun comments.
Comment from Mintybee
The idea of a child telling on a parent is always funny. It looks like your word count is correct. I didn't really understand who they were hiding from. I know 50 words is not a lot of time to set up plot, character and setting, but I don't know what Schwan's ice cream day is, or why they'd hide from it. Maybe instead of explaining that your husband was laid off, you could explain why he feels the need to hide, and to fib about it? I did get the general joke - the daughter busts the dad. That part was clear.
Mintybee
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
 |
The idea of a child telling on a parent is always funny. It looks like your word count is correct. I didn't really understand who they were hiding from. I know 50 words is not a lot of time to set up plot, character and setting, but I don't know what Schwan's ice cream day is, or why they'd hide from it. Maybe instead of explaining that your husband was laid off, you could explain why he feels the need to hide, and to fib about it? I did get the general joke - the daughter busts the dad. That part was clear.
Mintybee
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Thank you for that suggestion Minty Bee. Now that is what I call a great review. Without that, I would have assumed that everyone knew that Schwan's day meant the big freezer on a truck comes on a regular basis.
I guess I thought everyone had the same type of set up. But lol, if you knew what a pain in the butt, those salesmen are, you would know why we always hid. It is much easier than answering the door and saying no. However this was forty years ago, and daddy got scolded by mommy for saying that in front of our impressionable daughter. I am going to edit dear friend. I thank you for taking the time to read and give great feedback. Thanks again. And if you are in the neighborhood in about a half hour, stop by and check it out to see if you think it is improved. I will have the coffee pot on. Lol
Comment from Sally Law
An ice cream conspiracy, I detect. This is adorable and in great fun. I can imagine my husband and kids doing the same. I so miss the Schwan's ice cream we had while living in Upstate New York. It was so creamy and delicious!
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming flash.
Sally Law :)) xo
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
|
An ice cream conspiracy, I detect. This is adorable and in great fun. I can imagine my husband and kids doing the same. I so miss the Schwan's ice cream we had while living in Upstate New York. It was so creamy and delicious!
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming flash.
Sally Law :)) xo
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Thanks Sally! Yes, my husband would rather hide from the Schwan's man than put up with the pushy salesman. Thanks for reading, reviewing and your fun comments.
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, out of the mouth of babes! This is a very fun fifty-word flash story. The fact that it is nonfiction makes it even more endearing and funny. Poor dad, busted by a three-year-old. Well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
|
LOL, out of the mouth of babes! This is a very fun fifty-word flash story. The fact that it is nonfiction makes it even more endearing and funny. Poor dad, busted by a three-year-old. Well done. Terry.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Thanks Terry. Yes, my husband would rather hide from the Schwan's man than put up with the pushy salesman. Thanks for reading, reviewing and your fun comments.
Comment from royowen
One can always thrust the kids to be honest, how embarrassing for the mother, hah hah, caught out, yes indeed, I what a great entry in this contest, good luck. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
|
One can always thrust the kids to be honest, how embarrassing for the mother, hah hah, caught out, yes indeed, I what a great entry in this contest, good luck. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Lol, Roy. Mom doesn't lie. This one was on daddy. Hahaha!
Thanks my dear friend for the awesome review!
-
Well done to mum
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Children can let us down with their honesty, can't they? LOL. I think we can all go back in time and remember a time when we did something similar to our own parents. It's funny now, but embarrassing for our parents at the time. But would they have their children lie? Of course they wouldn't. Loved this, well done and good luck. :)Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
|
Children can let us down with their honesty, can't they? LOL. I think we can all go back in time and remember a time when we did something similar to our own parents. It's funny now, but embarrassing for our parents at the time. But would they have their children lie? Of course they wouldn't. Loved this, well done and good luck. :)Sandra xx
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Thanks Sandra. Yes, my husband would rather hide from the Schwan's man than put up with the pushy salesman. Thanks for reading, reviewing and your fun comments.
Comment from Julie Lau
This so funny! so typical too - Little kids don't understand white lies, bless them. You've written the story well; just one thing though, the correct spelling is LAID off. Is that your photo - the actual protagonists? It's gorgeous. Good luck in the comp... Julie Lau
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
|
This so funny! so typical too - Little kids don't understand white lies, bless them. You've written the story well; just one thing though, the correct spelling is LAID off. Is that your photo - the actual protagonists? It's gorgeous. Good luck in the comp... Julie Lau
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Thanks Julie. Yes, my husband would rather hide from the Schwan's man than put up with the pushy salesman. Thanks for reading, reviewing and your fun comments. And thanks for catching my typo that Grammarly was suppose to point out. You are the best.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Awesome! Kids are the best. I love it when they put their parents in embarrassing ways. Unless it's my kids. Then they get a swift kick in the arse. Nice work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
|
Awesome! Kids are the best. I love it when they put their parents in embarrassing ways. Unless it's my kids. Then they get a swift kick in the arse. Nice work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
-
Thanks Douglas. Yes, my husband would rather hide from the Schwan's man than put up with the pushy salesman. Thanks for reading, reviewing and your fun comments.
