Lucky Eddie
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Lucky Eddie - Chapter 4"Two lifelong friends face both triumph and tragedy
9 total reviews
Comment from JT traveller
Oh I love it Jim. Well worth the wait! This is all going too well for the good guys. There has to be a twist in the next chapter...
Written with humour and finesse. I am thoroughly enjoying following this fine tale.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Oh I love it Jim. Well worth the wait! This is all going too well for the good guys. There has to be a twist in the next chapter...
Written with humour and finesse. I am thoroughly enjoying following this fine tale.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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What a nice review! Thank you so much, Jacqueline.
Comment from Jay Squires
I'll be honest with you, Jim. I have some strong misgivings about all the necessary underpinning of the hustle for it to work out for our protagonists. The most serious one is Eddie's intentional ankle sprain. To me, it's not believable that anyone would intentionally sprain his ankle to win a three or four-thousand-dollar bet. I'm sorry, but it keeps coming up in my mind. Secondly, all the necessary things that would have to happen for E.J. to get drunk enough to mess up on not removing the pin was uncanny. And EVERYTHING was made to depend on that. I'm really sorry to say this. I know you've spent a lot of time developing this hustle. Your skill in writing is never under challenge. But it's development for the scene is weak (in this one writer's opinion).
I'm still excited about the chase, thanks to your craftsmanship, but I hope you choose to work out the kinks in the plot.
Jay
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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I'll be honest with you, Jim. I have some strong misgivings about all the necessary underpinning of the hustle for it to work out for our protagonists. The most serious one is Eddie's intentional ankle sprain. To me, it's not believable that anyone would intentionally sprain his ankle to win a three or four-thousand-dollar bet. I'm sorry, but it keeps coming up in my mind. Secondly, all the necessary things that would have to happen for E.J. to get drunk enough to mess up on not removing the pin was uncanny. And EVERYTHING was made to depend on that. I'm really sorry to say this. I know you've spent a lot of time developing this hustle. Your skill in writing is never under challenge. But it's development for the scene is weak (in this one writer's opinion).
I'm still excited about the chase, thanks to your craftsmanship, but I hope you choose to work out the kinks in the plot.
Jay
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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I didn't want to have to tell you this, but to allay some of your misgivings, Eddie faked the sprained ankle. You'll find this out in the course of the story soon. (Note: This was strongly suggested back on the 10th hole when Eddie winked at Kenny right after he "sprained" it, and Kenny winked back.)
This was the main part of the hustle he devised--to be able to combine his putting with Kenny's long game for a single score (which a best-ball match is all about.) His opponents accepted those terms because Eddie had been faking his putting on the front 9 by purposefully being just a mediocre putter using a normal putter. They had no idea he was such a good putter, until it was too late. Then Eddie pulls out his "enterprise" putter on the back 9 and starts putting normally (for him) by sinking everything.
E.J.'s screwups only affect two holes of the match, whereas the scheme of both Eddie and Kenny combining their talents has more of an effect on the match.
This is part of the problem when presenting the story in FanStory readable chunks--it takes a long time to get the full picture out, and it's easy to lose sight of the full picture. In the actual novel, this entire match takes place in one chapter which presumably would be read in one sitting.
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I want to know how Eddie faked the swelling of his ankle, LOL.
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You'll find out.
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Okey dokes!
Comment from Julie Lau
I'm continuing to enjoy your golfing tale, Ken. Well written! I played for a while and wasn't bad, but it was very bad for my temper; it was the only game that could make me swear, and want to break my clubs. I thought I'd better stop to preserve my normally placid personality. JL
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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I'm continuing to enjoy your golfing tale, Ken. Well written! I played for a while and wasn't bad, but it was very bad for my temper; it was the only game that could make me swear, and want to break my clubs. I thought I'd better stop to preserve my normally placid personality. JL
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Ah, yes. That's why "golf" is a 4-letter word.
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Arr yes. 'club' and 'ball' are others.
Comment from jmdg1954
It took me all day, but I finally got to read your chapter. I found it interesting as I'm becoming more aware of golf strategies ( not the cunning, unscrupulous kind).
Three holes to go, let's see what happens.
John
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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It took me all day, but I finally got to read your chapter. I found it interesting as I'm becoming more aware of golf strategies ( not the cunning, unscrupulous kind).
Three holes to go, let's see what happens.
John
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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I kind of like the cunning, unscrupulous, kind as long as there is no actual cheating involved. My favorite kind was that unplayable lie scene in Some Call It Luck where E.J. used his opponent's lack of knowledge of the rules to beat them.
Comment from MissMerri
An exceptionally well written chapter in this interesting story. I was quite caught up in the golf game and found it amazingly easy to follow the action, even though I'm not a golfer. The characters are also easy to see and your dialogue is very natural sounding. This is well edited and very well written.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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An exceptionally well written chapter in this interesting story. I was quite caught up in the golf game and found it amazingly easy to follow the action, even though I'm not a golfer. The characters are also easy to see and your dialogue is very natural sounding. This is well edited and very well written.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, MM. I'm so glad the language of golf didn't put you off and that it's holding your interest!
Comment from Jasmine Girl
We started our comeback right there on the tenth hole" is a thrilling tale of strategy and cunning on the golf course. The dynamic between the characters is entertaining and adds to the tension of the match. The use of Eddie's 'Enterprise' putter and the introduction of the Jamaican rum flask add an extra layer of excitement to the story. The ending is satisfying and unexpected, leaving the reader feeling happy for the underdogs. Overall, a fun and engaging read for golf enthusiasts and non-golfers alike.
Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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We started our comeback right there on the tenth hole" is a thrilling tale of strategy and cunning on the golf course. The dynamic between the characters is entertaining and adds to the tension of the match. The use of Eddie's 'Enterprise' putter and the introduction of the Jamaican rum flask add an extra layer of excitement to the story. The ending is satisfying and unexpected, leaving the reader feeling happy for the underdogs. Overall, a fun and engaging read for golf enthusiasts and non-golfers alike.
Well done.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, JG. Pretty soon we'll see how this match ends.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This match is getting really close. I still can't wait to find out how hurt Eddie really is. You are doing a really good job writing this. I couldn't find anything that needs to be corrected.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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This match is getting really close. I still can't wait to find out how hurt Eddie really is. You are doing a really good job writing this. I couldn't find anything that needs to be corrected.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thanks, Barbara. An error-free day. I think that's a first!
Comment from royowen
Naughty EJ, couldn't resist a tittle back in the day, and now the game is all tied up, the game is back on even par, though it's not good to be a drunken caddy. An excellent and an exciting post, the imagery and description is great, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Naughty EJ, couldn't resist a tittle back in the day, and now the game is all tied up, the game is back on even par, though it's not good to be a drunken caddy. An excellent and an exciting post, the imagery and description is great, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thanks so much, Roy. Three holes to go!
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Yes, hoe about that?.
Comment from Kaiku
I am going to call you Wiley Coyote for the pranks you're starting to pull. I would never let my caddy drift on me. I must say, you're creative and Eddie probably plays a pretty good game of pool.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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I am going to call you Wiley Coyote for the pranks you're starting to pull. I would never let my caddy drift on me. I must say, you're creative and Eddie probably plays a pretty good game of pool.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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I'll bet he does. Next chapter, you'll see why E.J. wants to challenge Fairbanks in a golf match of their own in Some Call It Luck.
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