The Faller
Weep for the fallen, cry not for the Faller17 total reviews
Comment from Stephanie Rollins
ugh....War, horrible stepfathers, abuse, killing...reality. It is reality, yet sad to read. I do wish the different time periods were perhaps labeled with years and locations. I think I enjoyed the first scene the best. Poignant.
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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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ugh....War, horrible stepfathers, abuse, killing...reality. It is reality, yet sad to read. I do wish the different time periods were perhaps labeled with years and locations. I think I enjoyed the first scene the best. Poignant.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thanks, Stephanie. Reality is what it is, I cannot change it, all I can do is tell how I experienced it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I wish I had a six to give you, Brad, that was such a sad, but very well written story. Today, his condition would have been recognised straight away, and all those years John lived living with the memories and guilt of that day in the wood could have been talked about and he would have been more able to cope. Too many young men went off to war, innocent young men, only to see and do such terrible things that changed them forever, as in John's case. That time when you ran from him, through the woods, was a trigger to the memory of those men he had to shoot. Such a sad story, but one that ended with you seeing the young man he once was, and it freed you from those times you hated him, only to remember the good times. Love that. Well done. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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I wish I had a six to give you, Brad, that was such a sad, but very well written story. Today, his condition would have been recognised straight away, and all those years John lived living with the memories and guilt of that day in the wood could have been talked about and he would have been more able to cope. Too many young men went off to war, innocent young men, only to see and do such terrible things that changed them forever, as in John's case. That time when you ran from him, through the woods, was a trigger to the memory of those men he had to shoot. Such a sad story, but one that ended with you seeing the young man he once was, and it freed you from those times you hated him, only to remember the good times. Love that. Well done. Sandra xx
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Sandra, so glad you liked the story. Yes, back then they called PTST shell shock, they had no idea how to treat Vets.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Hi Brad,
I really enjoyed your story. It's hard for me to read anything involving child abuse, including verbal abuse, but I made my way through this because it was well-written and, although sad, a very interesting story. It's nice that you could forgive the man who was your father for a time, as it also freed you, as you say. I wouldn't forgive him so easily because of the verbal abuse, but I did not live your life.
I appreciate your sharing this with us. I know it's hard to open up and let strangers look inside. Hope you are well and have enjoyed a happy life.
Just a few suggestions:
The sentence: "I can't shoot tied prisoners!" - take away the quotes after he yelled back
A suggestion: The Lieutenant approached him. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Indent the paragraph that begins, "John worked as a faller"
In the paragraph that begins, "As I grew older, it was decided . . . Capitalize Valley
Sentence that begins, "In 1963" - US Air Force (instead of Us)
"John's here?" I said, somewhat nervous.
I took his hand. "Hello John," I said, "it's good to see you too."
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Hi Brad,
I really enjoyed your story. It's hard for me to read anything involving child abuse, including verbal abuse, but I made my way through this because it was well-written and, although sad, a very interesting story. It's nice that you could forgive the man who was your father for a time, as it also freed you, as you say. I wouldn't forgive him so easily because of the verbal abuse, but I did not live your life.
I appreciate your sharing this with us. I know it's hard to open up and let strangers look inside. Hope you are well and have enjoyed a happy life.
Just a few suggestions:
The sentence: "I can't shoot tied prisoners!" - take away the quotes after he yelled back
A suggestion: The Lieutenant approached him. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Indent the paragraph that begins, "John worked as a faller"
In the paragraph that begins, "As I grew older, it was decided . . . Capitalize Valley
Sentence that begins, "In 1963" - US Air Force (instead of Us)
"John's here?" I said, somewhat nervous.
I took his hand. "Hello John," I said, "it's good to see you too."
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the stars Pam! And thank you for the typos catch! So glad you liked it. I did carry quite a bit of hatred for the man, but that day, I felt I saw someone else. It was a strange feeling, the other man was'nt there.
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is a powerful story. It must have been a nightmare for you while growing up. I'm glad you were finally able to make peace with John and your own past. Thanks for sharing this deeply personal story.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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This is a powerful story. It must have been a nightmare for you while growing up. I'm glad you were finally able to make peace with John and your own past. Thanks for sharing this deeply personal story.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Thank you, much appreciated.
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You are welcome.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Wars are a blight on mankind. Just think what a wonderful world this would be if everyone learned to get along. Your story is touching and skillfully written. It is well worth taking the time to read.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Wars are a blight on mankind. Just think what a wonderful world this would be if everyone learned to get along. Your story is touching and skillfully written. It is well worth taking the time to read.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Many thanks. Much appreciated.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Well, you put a warning for violence but you need one for offensive language as well. This was very long and difficult to read since the print was too small and the paragraphs were too close together to read easily. I was offended by the language rather than the violence.
Jesse
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Well, you put a warning for violence but you need one for offensive language as well. This was very long and difficult to read since the print was too small and the paragraphs were too close together to read easily. I was offended by the language rather than the violence.
Jesse
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Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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This is a true story Jesse, Nothing is left off from what happened. The language is mild in comparison to real life. That's why I left that off. But what of the story, did you read it?Sorry, I meant 'could' you read it?
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All I can say is the print was too small, and the paragraphs need to be shortened and spread apart more evenly.
I will try to read it when I can.
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Okay, I understand. I'll change the
type to 20 pt. I had to put the language in to fit the time and the characters. But it is mild compared to today.
Comment from phill doran
Excellent writing Brad,
Given that everything is grist to a writer's mill, it must still be difficult to get it all out- but then maybe that will prove part of your healing process, too.
It is counter intuitive to say I "enjoyed" the piece - the content is harrowing in its way - but it is well written and engaging and I found your work clear, articulate and structured.
It's a pleasure to read longer pieces like this and I can only encourage you to continue in this style.
I wish you well.
Cheers
phill
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Excellent writing Brad,
Given that everything is grist to a writer's mill, it must still be difficult to get it all out- but then maybe that will prove part of your healing process, too.
It is counter intuitive to say I "enjoyed" the piece - the content is harrowing in its way - but it is well written and engaging and I found your work clear, articulate and structured.
It's a pleasure to read longer pieces like this and I can only encourage you to continue in this style.
I wish you well.
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thank you Phil, so glad you liked it.
