One Man's Calling - ch 1, pt B
Living up to the call6 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Well, that's really disappointing to Livvy and the reader. What was that "calling" all about if Ben only came to save her at that point in time. I also wondered how much he made a difference in the life of the family since Ben is so good with animals. This seems to wander into the realm of wonderful about fate versus the will of God and perhaps predestination...
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
Well, that's really disappointing to Livvy and the reader. What was that "calling" all about if Ben only came to save her at that point in time. I also wondered how much he made a difference in the life of the family since Ben is so good with animals. This seems to wander into the realm of wonderful about fate versus the will of God and perhaps predestination...
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
-
I understand. But there are 46K more words and we're not done with Livvy yet. Also, I think reality is that there are many, many small 'doing the right, or good' thing has no immediate, visible payoff, but is still doing God's will. I think a book of superlatives would lose credibility.
Thank you for your thoughts. I hope you continue to help keep me on track and let me know where I'm not making a point.
Comment from Wendy G
I suppose a love story is never complete without lots of twists and turns needing more than a few chapters. But perhaps he shouldn't have been kissing her and leading her on, if he wasn't sure he should stay.
But - interesting and well written, and I like how you are subtly talking about prayer, and a sense of calling and the reality of God's peace. Well done. Keep it coming!
Wendy
"saving ben from describing the sordid details". Capital for "Ben".
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023
I suppose a love story is never complete without lots of twists and turns needing more than a few chapters. But perhaps he shouldn't have been kissing her and leading her on, if he wasn't sure he should stay.
But - interesting and well written, and I like how you are subtly talking about prayer, and a sense of calling and the reality of God's peace. Well done. Keep it coming!
Wendy
"saving ben from describing the sordid details". Capital for "Ben".
Comment Written 19-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023
-
Ooops. I guess I have a lazy left hand when it comes to caps. It is a constant problem.
The kissing - Ben went no further, but in his defense, he didn't know he was leaving at the time.
Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from royowen
I like the way you've set up your story, with an interesting boy blowing in and meeting with Livvy, she really fancies him, the boy has had religious training and she suggests he stays and perform the tasks of that calling, but he believes God's got something. You've left it open woth possibilities Wayne, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
I like the way you've set up your story, with an interesting boy blowing in and meeting with Livvy, she really fancies him, the boy has had religious training and she suggests he stays and perform the tasks of that calling, but he believes God's got something. You've left it open woth possibilities Wayne, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
-
Thank you for your very nice review.
-
Welcome
Comment from eliz100
This is an excellent first chapter. I do agree a little long. I feel sorry for Livvy. You did get the woman's role just right get married and have children.I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
This is an excellent first chapter. I do agree a little long. I feel sorry for Livvy. You did get the woman's role just right get married and have children.I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
-
Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Length is okay.You needed it to get a chunk of the story out. I felt you rushed into the ending a bit without warning (end of the call), so you need to cut down a bit at the beginning meal to make room for that. Also you have a spelling inconsistency in the name mae/may. kay
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
Length is okay.You needed it to get a chunk of the story out. I felt you rushed into the ending a bit without warning (end of the call), so you need to cut down a bit at the beginning meal to make room for that. Also you have a spelling inconsistency in the name mae/may. kay
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
-
Ooops. I changed it to Mae (mostly, I guess).
This was the second half of the book chapter. Way too long otherwise.
Thank you for the review.
Comment from BethShelby
This is well written and interesting and the beginning of a much longer story it seems. I assume the story will follow Ben as he goes on following what he believe is a calling drawing him on like a magnet. I will be looking forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
This is well written and interesting and the beginning of a much longer story it seems. I assume the story will follow Ben as he goes on following what he believe is a calling drawing him on like a magnet. I will be looking forward to reading more.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
-
Yes, about 50K words.
Thank you for the very nice review.