The Trickle
How quickly a trickle can grow.27 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Barry,
The short lines make the poem flow as fast as the water as it grows from the trickle to the river ending in the ocean. I like the personification throughout the poem. The ocean does end in land on the other side.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
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Hi Barry,
The short lines make the poem flow as fast as the water as it grows from the trickle to the river ending in the ocean. I like the personification throughout the poem. The ocean does end in land on the other side.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Joan
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
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Thanks for the review and the Congrats. Always nice to seize a place in a competition. All the best.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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My pleasure on both accounts, Barry.
Joan
Comment from K.I. Betancur
All it takes is one drop of water to begin a waterfall. Definitely see the analogy in that.
Excellent work! It also reminds me of the saying, "Big Fish, small pond," or even the child's rhyme about "the frog in the log" - how you continued with "the brook, in the stream, in the lake," and so on.
Needless to say it's very deserving of being recognized.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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All it takes is one drop of water to begin a waterfall. Definitely see the analogy in that.
Excellent work! It also reminds me of the saying, "Big Fish, small pond," or even the child's rhyme about "the frog in the log" - how you continued with "the brook, in the stream, in the lake," and so on.
Needless to say it's very deserving of being recognized.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to review my poem. Also for becoming a fan. Keep on writing and I hope your Easter is going fine. Take care and thanks again.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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Thank you so much, I hope the same for you!
Comment from Regina Elliott
Wow, I really am impressed
by this water-themed poem.
I grew up on Long Island, and
we really loved going to
Jones Beach and Fire Island.
My father took us one time
to Fire Island in the first
weekend of November. The
water was cool but the air
wasn't too cold, so my
siblings and I took the
plunge. Your wondrous poem
reminds me of this fond
memory. Thank you for that.
Have a creative and inspiring
weekend.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Wow, I really am impressed
by this water-themed poem.
I grew up on Long Island, and
we really loved going to
Jones Beach and Fire Island.
My father took us one time
to Fire Island in the first
weekend of November. The
water was cool but the air
wasn't too cold, so my
siblings and I took the
plunge. Your wondrous poem
reminds me of this fond
memory. Thank you for that.
Have a creative and inspiring
weekend.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poew. Glad you enjoyed it.I am also glad it revivied some good memories. They are so important.
Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Sanku
It is a beautiful idea tracing the origin of a river ,starting from a trickle and ending into the sea..I have a doubt ..in the last stanza, second line, 'sea became no more-should it be the river?
the river flows into the sea and then river is no more only the sea..
i enjoyed the rhyming poem . The imagery is great!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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It is a beautiful idea tracing the origin of a river ,starting from a trickle and ending into the sea..I have a doubt ..in the last stanza, second line, 'sea became no more-should it be the river?
the river flows into the sea and then river is no more only the sea..
i enjoyed the rhyming poem . The imagery is great!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Your suggestion is a good one but not correct. The sea in its evolution, becomes the ocean.
Thanks again for reading and I hope you have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from June Sargent
So true. That is the nature of our universe. However, these words can also refer to rumors that begin as whispers that escalate into full blown breaking news on social media. And then is quietly replaced by the next great roar. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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So true. That is the nature of our universe. However, these words can also refer to rumors that begin as whispers that escalate into full blown breaking news on social media. And then is quietly replaced by the next great roar. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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June,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you liked it and you are correct when applying this to rumours. Oh, how much they can grow.
You have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Eternal Muse
How beautiful and romantic, gave me chills.
Like your transformation from a trickle to a brook to a river and then the sea. Incredible imagery and visuals and I like your artwork.
Enjoyed it very much, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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How beautiful and romantic, gave me chills.
Like your transformation from a trickle to a brook to a river and then the sea. Incredible imagery and visuals and I like your artwork.
Enjoyed it very much, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to review my poem. So glad you enjoyed it .Please take care and have a great day. From small things big things grow.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Lovely verse with such great subject matter. The meter and rhyme seem perfect and I liked the way you started each stanza differently so that it didn't become a list but kept the 'flow' going and the reader engaged. Well done and good luck in the contest. Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2023
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Lovely verse with such great subject matter. The meter and rhyme seem perfect and I liked the way you started each stanza differently so that it didn't become a list but kept the 'flow' going and the reader engaged. Well done and good luck in the contest. Debbie
Comment Written 02-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2023
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Debbie,
Thanks for taking the time to read and reviewmy poem. Glad you enjoyed it . Yes keeping the flow going is so important.Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Such a beautiful poem.I could almost hear the varying types of water, because your descriptive words were so precise. Great writing! I enjoyed reading, and I hope our earth will have all of those working in unison, infinitely. :)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2023
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Such a beautiful poem.I could almost hear the varying types of water, because your descriptive words were so precise. Great writing! I enjoyed reading, and I hope our earth will have all of those working in unison, infinitely. :)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2023
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Alexandra,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. So glad you enjoyed it. Yes we can only hope the earth will have them in unison. You take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from PoemsOfDD
I really enjoyed this rhyming poem entry. You have taken a mere trickle of water and made it grow into the sea. The rhythm of this piece lends itself well to the flow and the creative topic is clever. I like it :-)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2023
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I really enjoyed this rhyming poem entry. You have taken a mere trickle of water and made it grow into the sea. The rhythm of this piece lends itself well to the flow and the creative topic is clever. I like it :-)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to review my poem. Glad you like it . Yes from small things large things grow. Have a great day and take care.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mintybee
The rhyme and meter in this poem flow very nicely. The growing of the trickle into part of the ocean is beautifully told. One line didn't quite seem right to me. "The ripples merged together/ Gained shape, began to look"
Began to look at what? or to look like what? Other than that, the poem is full of vivid and clear nouns and verbs, like in, "The stream in turn sped quickly on/ Its destiny at stake/ Tumbling to the valley floor/ The stream became a lake." You use words like sped, destiny at stake, tumbling. It gives a sense of movement, motion, growth, longing. This was a really well done poem.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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The rhyme and meter in this poem flow very nicely. The growing of the trickle into part of the ocean is beautifully told. One line didn't quite seem right to me. "The ripples merged together/ Gained shape, began to look"
Began to look at what? or to look like what? Other than that, the poem is full of vivid and clear nouns and verbs, like in, "The stream in turn sped quickly on/ Its destiny at stake/ Tumbling to the valley floor/ The stream became a lake." You use words like sped, destiny at stake, tumbling. It gives a sense of movement, motion, growth, longing. This was a really well done poem.
Mintybee
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thanks so much for taking the time to review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it .Take your point on "began to look" . Anyway we will see how it goes. Take care and have a good day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
