Lucky Eddie
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Lucky Eddie - Chapter 2"Two lifelong friends face both triumph and tragedy
8 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
Well, I never played a round of golf in my life, and I thought I had an understanding of it. I am learning more than I thought I knew.
Well written Jim. When Kenny heard : "Shit, shit! Stop!" from Welborns mouth he knew then for sure it was a hustle!
Looking to the next chapter for the outcome!
Cheers to the 19th hole...
John
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2023
  |
Well, I never played a round of golf in my life, and I thought I had an understanding of it. I am learning more than I thought I knew.
Well written Jim. When Kenny heard : "Shit, shit! Stop!" from Welborns mouth he knew then for sure it was a hustle!
Looking to the next chapter for the outcome!
Cheers to the 19th hole...
John
Comment Written 11-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2023
-
Thanks, John. I find I learn about a lot of things I never knew from fellow FanStorians too.
Comment from JT traveller
A funny feeling. Trust your gut instincts Jim.
A rollicking tale, I can't wait for the next chapter.
The funniest line, "It literally scared the shit right out of me."
I really do enjoy your golf stories. I hope your book is eventually published. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2023
|
A funny feeling. Trust your gut instincts Jim.
A rollicking tale, I can't wait for the next chapter.
The funniest line, "It literally scared the shit right out of me."
I really do enjoy your golf stories. I hope your book is eventually published. Jacqueline
Comment Written 11-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2023
-
So glad you're enjoying it Jacqueline. That bathroom scene was inspired by something we used to do quite often when I was a freshman at college. Typical freshman antics! We had gang bathrooms in our dorm (unlike today where there's usually a bathroom per room or pair of rooms) and we used to throw firecrackers or cherry bombs in there when a friend was known to be sitting on the throne.
-
Haha. Hilarious. Keep the fun up Jim. Have a good night. Jacqueline 😊
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is well written, and the characters are different from each other. If I was a golfer, I think I'd love this but I'm not totally certain of several of the terms, but you should not dumb them down. this is for the reading pleasure of a golfer.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
|
This is well written, and the characters are different from each other. If I was a golfer, I think I'd love this but I'm not totally certain of several of the terms, but you should not dumb them down. this is for the reading pleasure of a golfer.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
-
Thanks for sticking with it anyway, Carol. I may have missed some, but there is a glossary of golf terms used in the chapter at the bottom in the Author Notes section.
Comment from Jay Squires
Yes, it definitely feels like a hustle. Once the bet is made, though, is it typical of a hustler to continue his ruse by purposely looking clumsy as he played, then calling it lucky? Or is it that they planned to go on hustling others there and want to seem authentically bad? And if the latter is the case, then swearing like Welborn did doesn't seem consistent with that.
The bathroom was tiled throughout, and the explosion really reverberated. It literally scared the shit right out of me. [LOL, well put, my friend.]
You do have a way with golf fiction. You keep it alive and exciting. (I thought T.J. was considered a good caddie when he wasn't drinking.
Jay
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
|
Yes, it definitely feels like a hustle. Once the bet is made, though, is it typical of a hustler to continue his ruse by purposely looking clumsy as he played, then calling it lucky? Or is it that they planned to go on hustling others there and want to seem authentically bad? And if the latter is the case, then swearing like Welborn did doesn't seem consistent with that.
The bathroom was tiled throughout, and the explosion really reverberated. It literally scared the shit right out of me. [LOL, well put, my friend.]
You do have a way with golf fiction. You keep it alive and exciting. (I thought T.J. was considered a good caddie when he wasn't drinking.
Jay
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
-
A good hustler doesn't want to make it too obvious he's hustling and develop a reputation for it or he won't find anyone to play against him. You're right that Welborn shouldn't have sworn like he did. I should probably take that out.
That bathroom scene came from my own experience as a freshman in college. My dorm bathroom was tiled like that, and it was not uncommon to throw a firecracker or cherry bomb in there while someone was on the throne. Boy did that get your attention!
When I wrote this story, I didn't have any plans for a future story about E.J., so you will find a few inconsistencies that I didn't feel like going back and correcting--like the one you mentioned. It works better in this story to just be a terrible caddie as you will see pretty soon during this match.
Comment from royowen
How interesting Jim, I guess hustling for want of a better word, is presumably relatively quite common, I know it is in snooker or pool. I love the descriptive comments concerning the golf shots, you probably have them stored in your mind. Beautifully written my friend, an excellent post, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
|
How interesting Jim, I guess hustling for want of a better word, is presumably relatively quite common, I know it is in snooker or pool. I love the descriptive comments concerning the golf shots, you probably have them stored in your mind. Beautifully written my friend, an excellent post, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
-
Thanks, Roy. I hope with all the golf in this story it continues to hold non-golfers' interest. There is one other golf scene following this major one that will be much shorter in duration and comes near the end of the story. It also has a sentimental bent to it.
-
No, I like it
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do like this story and can't wait to see what Eddie's plan is. I agree they are being hustled.
They said that they both had a 10-handicap and wondered if we'd like to put a little money on the match. Without hesitation, Eddie told them sure and that we could work out the details in the morning. (omit 'that' in both sentences.)
The next morning, I woke up around 8:00 (The following morning)
Eddie exclaimed and pounded Fairbanks on the back as he came and stood next to us. (stood beside us)
"Yeah, right," I thought. (Thought is normally put in italics and you wouldn't need 'I thought.')
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
|
I do like this story and can't wait to see what Eddie's plan is. I agree they are being hustled.
They said that they both had a 10-handicap and wondered if we'd like to put a little money on the match. Without hesitation, Eddie told them sure and that we could work out the details in the morning. (omit 'that' in both sentences.)
The next morning, I woke up around 8:00 (The following morning)
Eddie exclaimed and pounded Fairbanks on the back as he came and stood next to us. (stood beside us)
"Yeah, right," I thought. (Thought is normally put in italics and you wouldn't need 'I thought.')
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
-
Even though not a golfer, I'm glad you're enjoying it, Barbara. Thanks for the grammatical suggestions too!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
After a somewhat ho-hum last chapter, you have found the fairway in this chapter. I am engrossed as to what Eddie's plan may be, but I hope it a win for I hate shysters that hustle.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
|
After a somewhat ho-hum last chapter, you have found the fairway in this chapter. I am engrossed as to what Eddie's plan may be, but I hope it a win for I hate shysters that hustle.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
-
Thanks, Tom. I think you'll enjoy Eddie's plan.
Comment from Kaiku
Don`t know if my first attempt went through so I am resending. Good narrative on the hustle. You understand the game. One personal `issue` I have and as I say, it`s just me. If my friend kept calling me Sport, I`d slap him up side of the head. I know it`s Eddie, but even he`d get a talking to. Looking forward to the continuation of the `Hustle`.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
|
Don`t know if my first attempt went through so I am resending. Good narrative on the hustle. You understand the game. One personal `issue` I have and as I say, it`s just me. If my friend kept calling me Sport, I`d slap him up side of the head. I know it`s Eddie, but even he`d get a talking to. Looking forward to the continuation of the `Hustle`.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
-
Nah, it isn't just you. It would probably annoy me too, but somehow Kenny finds it endearing.
As I read over this chapter, I'm not sure this story will appeal to many folks on this site. It really is mostly a golf story, as it was intended to be when I first wrote it, and the more human-interest side doesn't come until later after most non-golfers will probably have tuned it out. We'll see. Depending on the response, I will keep posting chapters, but may decide not to promote them much.
-
it can be a fickle crowd. I promote a couple of my works but honestly, I find the dollars spent more of a waste. I guess I need to build up on a fan base that likes my stuff.
