Random Rhyme and Petty Prose
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Awoke"a collection of phenomenally mundane work.
12 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Given a second chance at life, the natural desire should be to be better , to do better. Eschewing the mistake of the past, learning and adapting to a brand new way of doing things so that the future would be better and brighter.
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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Given a second chance at life, the natural desire should be to be better , to do better. Eschewing the mistake of the past, learning and adapting to a brand new way of doing things so that the future would be better and brighter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Thank you, nomi, for giving this a look.
Comment from lyenochka
I love the poetic prose you used here with alliteration and rhymes like "Opening the door on a world to explore, he swore to do more than before." Fabulous way to show the new revelation from being healed after a long term illness. The only thing that takes away from this piece is the title because of the current slang meaning. But you could have meant to harvest from that meaning to show a revelation for mankind to wake from a history of illness on how they treat one another for a bright future.
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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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I love the poetic prose you used here with alliteration and rhymes like "Opening the door on a world to explore, he swore to do more than before." Fabulous way to show the new revelation from being healed after a long term illness. The only thing that takes away from this piece is the title because of the current slang meaning. But you could have meant to harvest from that meaning to show a revelation for mankind to wake from a history of illness on how they treat one another for a bright future.
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Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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I intentionally used the current meaning for the title, but have changed it, since you think it detracts from its appeal.
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I'd be curious to know if the reviews are different under the different titles. I just know there has been a lot of negative posts regarding the current meaning of "woke" culture. So I didn't want that to detract from your fine writing.
