Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Hi Yvonne,
This is a good example of a Glosa poem as per your notes. You are right it is a form I haven't seen before. It's seems a good form to write a story in.
It seemed from the beginning he was running from death or just a very hard life that has no seeming release.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thanks. I'll try. You, too.

reply by dragonpoet on 21-Feb-2023

My pleasure, Yvonne.
Joan

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

By requiring some forty lines the form almost demands a narrative style which is what this undoubtedly is. Although no set length of line is required I think you were right to follow the rhythm of your quoted lines in this instance and you have shown how two totally different tales can become interwoven.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thank you. What lovely remarks.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

This reminded me of EAP's Telltale Heart. Was there a fiend following or was it his imagination. You build the feeling of dread with each line. Loved the part about the fiend breathing down his sweaty neck. Great job. Gretchen

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thank you!

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

I used to get lost every afternoon on the way home from school. Well, what really happened was, when my parents dropped me off at school, they would move before I got dismissal time, hoping to lose me. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

I know what you mean. I kept moving, but the boys always tracked me down. hahaha. Thank, Ric.

Comment from Teri7

Exceptional

This is a very well written poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and great imagery from the art work and words you have chosen. Thank you for sharing! love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thank you so much. Good to hear from you.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Glosa is not familiar to this FanStory member, but I am NOT a poet. All I know of poetry is what I enjoy reading. I did enjoy reading this contest entry. It flowed smoothly and gave me an eerie, almost mysterious feeling. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thank you for this wonderful review. I'm glad you got that feeling from it.

Comment from Ben Colder

Exceptional

Reminds me of being in London and nearing dark alleyways. I spent a few days there. Sort of spooky, those places. Sure was glad seeing the light. You did well with this.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thank you. When I was in London, hot and no rain in sight. Drat!

reply by Ben Colder on 20-Feb-2023

Sandy Mitchell, I think lives in London or nearby. She is a sweetheart.

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Yes, she is. We're sisters across the pond.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I love the form and the sentiments here. Your clever rhymes and metre give this poem a powerful punch and I just loved your story Yvonne. I fearful fiend following us at night is a bit scary, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

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 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thank you for a great review.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Wow! Spooky stuff, Yvonne! I bet Dean would love this one. You really built up the suspense in this poem and I love that you took those lines from the Rime of the Ancient Mariner! Hope this does well in the contest!

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023

Thank you. We'll see how it goes.