He Took a Wrong Path Home
A Glosa poem29 total reviews
Comment from Brandon Clark
Excellent writing on display in this! Your word choice was done very well and made for a smooth read and a quick pace. The suspense was also drawn out well and the overall presentation (font size, color, and image) was excellent.
A very worthy contender...best of luck in the contest!
Brandon
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Excellent writing on display in this! Your word choice was done very well and made for a smooth read and a quick pace. The suspense was also drawn out well and the overall presentation (font size, color, and image) was excellent.
A very worthy contender...best of luck in the contest!
Brandon
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thank you. I appreciate the review and the good wishes.
Comment from karenina
I see I'm not the first to think of Dean Kuch when I glimpsed your image! (Never a bad thing to remember him!)
This form is...a challenge, isn't it? You've done a master-class in how it ought to be presented and how can you go wrong selecting such a belov'ed poem?
Props to Brett for bringing new forms to try! Congrats on a fine write!
Karenina
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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I see I'm not the first to think of Dean Kuch when I glimpsed your image! (Never a bad thing to remember him!)
This form is...a challenge, isn't it? You've done a master-class in how it ought to be presented and how can you go wrong selecting such a belov'ed poem?
Props to Brett for bringing new forms to try! Congrats on a fine write!
Karenina
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thank you for a lovely review. I hope he gives us some more. This one was a bit challenging but it was fun to do.
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A "bit" challenging? I'd say so! Nice, though, to see new forms. You did fine!
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Thank you.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Glosa Contest. You grasped the form well. It seems hard to follow so many rules. Nice presentation, the picture remids me of Dean kuch. He used that kind. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Excellent entry for the Glosa Contest. You grasped the form well. It seems hard to follow so many rules. Nice presentation, the picture remids me of Dean kuch. He used that kind. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for this great review. I'm flattered that it reminded you of Dean.
Comment from royowen
There's a lot of these poems with repetitive lines. This one has some potential, not quite as limiting as the others, the adding of the root poem that is famous is a good good touch. You've created a decent work here Yvonne, well done, blessings Roy
Suggestion : With dissentient's footsteps tread.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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There's a lot of these poems with repetitive lines. This one has some potential, not quite as limiting as the others, the adding of the root poem that is famous is a good good touch. You've created a decent work here Yvonne, well done, blessings Roy
Suggestion : With dissentient's footsteps tread.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Roy. It was fun to do, and a bit challenging.
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I can see that, well done
Comment from Sally Law
I absolutely love this unique form. How thrilling this is and cleared out the poetry dull-drums. I'm sorry to say we've become a bit predictable around jere. An exceptional poem and not easily executed. A virtual six with compliments, Miss Damommy.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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I absolutely love this unique form. How thrilling this is and cleared out the poetry dull-drums. I'm sorry to say we've become a bit predictable around jere. An exceptional poem and not easily executed. A virtual six with compliments, Miss Damommy.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thank you. It's Bret Matthew West that's putting these new forms out there. This is a bit long, but it was fun to do.
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Interesting style of writing. I haven't read the style before. I enjoyed reading your poem. It is well written and flows well. Good photo that went well your poem. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Interesting style of writing. I haven't read the style before. I enjoyed reading your poem. It is well written and flows well. Good photo that went well your poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thank you for a nice review.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great write Yvonne. You kept up the eerie suspense all through as we followed him through the lonely lane. An interesting form and a great read. Good luck in the contest. Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Great write Yvonne. You kept up the eerie suspense all through as we followed him through the lonely lane. An interesting form and a great read. Good luck in the contest. Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thank you. I always appreciate your input. How are things in your neck of the woods?
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I'm good. I'd been struggling a bit since Xmas, the weather, me, but I'm getting there. Hope all's okay with you too.
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I'm having a bit of trouble getting around these last couple of days, and my lupus is playing havoc with my body. But I, too, am getting there. Keep me posted on how you're doing. We can whine and grumble together. Do you have my email address? yuzzell00@gmail.com
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valdaspencer@hotmail.com
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Yvonne,
Thanks for teaching the Glosa. I never heard of it before. But I like the idea. It would be great for someone like me whose muse is always AWOL. Your poem is about a traveler who is being followed by a fiendish killer. You build the suspense, line by line, verse by verse. The gentleman being followed is beginning to panic. He trips. He's afraid to turn around. He's listening for footsteps. He prays.
We don't know anything about the killer, if indeed that's what he is. All we know is that he's following the man, and getting closer and closer.
Fear is very real, and growing...
"He cranes his neck to take a look,
and yearns the safety of his bed.
With flying feet and beating heart,
His spirit's overcome by dread.
He stumbles on the cobblestones.
Then fumbles down the dark pathway.
His pounding pulse has filled his ears.
The only thing to do is pray.
I'd like to try this poetic form myself, Yvonne. I just have to find the right 4 lines to begin.
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing.
And Good Luck in the contest! You are a talented poet!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Hi Yvonne,
Thanks for teaching the Glosa. I never heard of it before. But I like the idea. It would be great for someone like me whose muse is always AWOL. Your poem is about a traveler who is being followed by a fiendish killer. You build the suspense, line by line, verse by verse. The gentleman being followed is beginning to panic. He trips. He's afraid to turn around. He's listening for footsteps. He prays.
We don't know anything about the killer, if indeed that's what he is. All we know is that he's following the man, and getting closer and closer.
Fear is very real, and growing...
"He cranes his neck to take a look,
and yearns the safety of his bed.
With flying feet and beating heart,
His spirit's overcome by dread.
He stumbles on the cobblestones.
Then fumbles down the dark pathway.
His pounding pulse has filled his ears.
The only thing to do is pray.
I'd like to try this poetic form myself, Yvonne. I just have to find the right 4 lines to begin.
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing.
And Good Luck in the contest! You are a talented poet!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for the compliment. I look forward to reading yours. Be sure to let me know when you finish it.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This was an excellent contest entry, Yvonne. Your 4 line
choices worked perfectly. The flow was smooth as were
the rhymes, and the imagery was fantastic. I could see
the man trying his best to outrun the fiend. In the process,
he sees and does everything you mentioned. You put the
readers right there on that eerie dark night. In addition, you
left all wondering did he make it home. The picture set a
great tone for what followed. This was intense and proved
to be one of your best poems.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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This was an excellent contest entry, Yvonne. Your 4 line
choices worked perfectly. The flow was smooth as were
the rhymes, and the imagery was fantastic. I could see
the man trying his best to outrun the fiend. In the process,
he sees and does everything you mentioned. You put the
readers right there on that eerie dark night. In addition, you
left all wondering did he make it home. The picture set a
great tone for what followed. This was intense and proved
to be one of your best poems.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Comment from aryr
Good luck wishes regarding the contest, damommy. I appreciated your words of the Glosa because they showed the terror, the and the action arose. The picture was phenomenal because they totally correct. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n hugs!!!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Good luck wishes regarding the contest, damommy. I appreciated your words of the Glosa because they showed the terror, the and the action arose. The picture was phenomenal because they totally correct. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n hugs!!!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thank you. I always appreciate your input.
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You are so welcome, Yvonne.
