NOT Ready
Some are ill-prepared for life beyond home.29 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Ah, such a powerful message in your poem! And you show us the importance of being sincere to ourselves and others. You also chose to make the first and last words homonyms.
Did you mean:
Worldy wolves await! (Worldly?)
Congratulations on the win!!
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Ah, such a powerful message in your poem! And you show us the importance of being sincere to ourselves and others. You also chose to make the first and last words homonyms.
Did you mean:
Worldy wolves await! (Worldly?)
Congratulations on the win!!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the wonderful review. I cannot believe it won, and not anyone caught the missing "L". It's corrected now. Thank you so much.
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With some fonts, a missing 'l' is hard to see!
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That wasn't the case with that font. I appreciate your eagle eyes!
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Okay. Then I'm a slow reader. 😊 I'll take my "eagle eyes" to bed now. Good night and sweet dreams! 💞
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Nite, nite!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Beyond fabulous. Its understated undertow is all but palpable. I feel its terse, desperate mood beneath the caustic, hopeless outer shell. Once again, you paint a dire situation in such a way that people cannot avert their eyes. You have honed this style to an art form. xoxox
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Beyond fabulous. Its understated undertow is all but palpable. I feel its terse, desperate mood beneath the caustic, hopeless outer shell. Once again, you paint a dire situation in such a way that people cannot avert their eyes. You have honed this style to an art form. xoxox
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your heartfelt sentiments and the extra star. It is easy to hone this style to an art form for it is sadly my life.
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I know what you're saying, but you make it thought-provoking rather than mournful or pathetic. I respect that.
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your poem- excellent picture presentation supporting- what a juicy subject for an old zen dude!!- Take a deep breath-lol Pray- let go and let God- he's going to be awake all night anyway- lost- we are all lost on the earth plane- thinking this body/mind is who we are- separate from God - stop the pretense- floundering with life's 'should s' - learning (our intended purpose) yen and Yang - choice and consequence- grist for the mill- faking knowledge- actor on the stage of life- pretending to be until we know- ? ?when do you know that you know?- wolves teach us to survive - teaching us ultimately - freeing us to love- becoming who we really are - eg-who we are- who we think we are -and who other people think we are- pray - in that space between thoughts- all perfect- (I told you to take a deep breath!!!) Bless AP
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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I like your poem- excellent picture presentation supporting- what a juicy subject for an old zen dude!!- Take a deep breath-lol Pray- let go and let God- he's going to be awake all night anyway- lost- we are all lost on the earth plane- thinking this body/mind is who we are- separate from God - stop the pretense- floundering with life's 'should s' - learning (our intended purpose) yen and Yang - choice and consequence- grist for the mill- faking knowledge- actor on the stage of life- pretending to be until we know- ? ?when do you know that you know?- wolves teach us to survive - teaching us ultimately - freeing us to love- becoming who we really are - eg-who we are- who we think we are -and who other people think we are- pray - in that space between thoughts- all perfect- (I told you to take a deep breath!!!) Bless AP
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your poetic review. It reads like a heartfelt poem.
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You?re welcome my friend- I enjoy reading your poetry- alway inspiring and from the heart- you have a keen ability to understand life that I find inspiring- you are a good person- thank you for sharing- AP
Comment from Mary Shifman
This poem is not pretty, flowery or sentimental. It is powerful, poignant, raw, and very timely. I like it not only because it is well written but because it makes a statement. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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This poem is not pretty, flowery or sentimental. It is powerful, poignant, raw, and very timely. I like it not only because it is well written but because it makes a statement. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Mary, thank you for your supportive and encouraging review. The extra star is also appreciated.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Ida T. Johnson
This is far superior to the other entries! Clear, concise message. Expertly captures the unfortunate situation of runaways or kids on the street for other reasons. The gray background and the gray, flat text enhance the somber mood. The light blue "Pray" serves as a beacon of hope in this dark, hostile environment. The last 2 lines with the blood red "prey" foreshadow unfortunate possibilities. Great image. Love the line "Faking knowledge I don't have": nobody can tell them anything because they know it all! Par Excellence! Good Luck!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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This is far superior to the other entries! Clear, concise message. Expertly captures the unfortunate situation of runaways or kids on the street for other reasons. The gray background and the gray, flat text enhance the somber mood. The light blue "Pray" serves as a beacon of hope in this dark, hostile environment. The last 2 lines with the blood red "prey" foreshadow unfortunate possibilities. Great image. Love the line "Faking knowledge I don't have": nobody can tell them anything because they know it all! Par Excellence! Good Luck!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your great and attentive review. The blue word pray also matches the abstract wings behind the child.
Comment from leather
I have never tried to write this poem style, and I give you credit for giving it a try. You have sandwiched the poem between "pray" and "prey," and it tells a sad tale.
The second sentence from the bottom seems incomplete, yet the rules call for complete statements in each line. How do you see that?
Good effort.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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I have never tried to write this poem style, and I give you credit for giving it a try. You have sandwiched the poem between "pray" and "prey," and it tells a sad tale.
The second sentence from the bottom seems incomplete, yet the rules call for complete statements in each line. How do you see that?
Good effort.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from jessizero
I loved that you began and ended your poem with a homonym. I liked your message behind the poem, as well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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I loved that you began and ended your poem with a homonym. I liked your message behind the poem, as well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This pattern of syllables is difficult to fashion into a poem (at least for me), but you did a good job. From your choice of words, you created a situation easy to understand. This could be a poem to show a person who needs the Savior. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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This pattern of syllables is difficult to fashion into a poem (at least for me), but you did a good job. From your choice of words, you created a situation easy to understand. This could be a poem to show a person who needs the Savior. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from harmony13
I found the author's words engaging, sad, descriptive and creative. As I
read these words I thought about looking at these circumstances in a more positive way. The author's does a great job with describing this scene in a vivid way. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is awesome! Have a great weekend!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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I found the author's words engaging, sad, descriptive and creative. As I
read these words I thought about looking at these circumstances in a more positive way. The author's does a great job with describing this scene in a vivid way. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is awesome! Have a great weekend!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your supportive review.
Comment from patcelaw
I enjoyed this poem very much. The message of the poem is a good one many times we tried to write in such a way that people think that we are more educated than we really are. The only problem I have with this is that the first word pray is done in a color that does not really show up well on the site. Patricia, if you would put a darker color for the word, pray it would help.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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I enjoyed this poem very much. The message of the poem is a good one many times we tried to write in such a way that people think that we are more educated than we really are. The only problem I have with this is that the first word pray is done in a color that does not really show up well on the site. Patricia, if you would put a darker color for the word, pray it would help.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the review. I will try to darken pray.
