Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 29 A"Can a broken heart be mended?
33 total reviews
Comment from Karyn2
Another great instalment Barbara! Only 2 posts left with a few cliff hangers to tie up! I would have liked perhaps a line or two at the end with some glances between Alexandra and Cord or Alexandra and Pat to provide a little indication of emotion following the ruling. The gavel finishing the chapter was quite abrupt but then again perhaps that's what you were after and it all depends on what is about to follow. I hope Pat gets all that is coming for him!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
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Another great instalment Barbara! Only 2 posts left with a few cliff hangers to tie up! I would have liked perhaps a line or two at the end with some glances between Alexandra and Cord or Alexandra and Pat to provide a little indication of emotion following the ruling. The gavel finishing the chapter was quite abrupt but then again perhaps that's what you were after and it all depends on what is about to follow. I hope Pat gets all that is coming for him!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. Nothing was really decided, they need to wait for the DNA results.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This chapter of the book, as usual, keeps an orderly, progressive taletelling, now the point of the chapter is nothing so important, here author tells how the central character Ali (Alexandra Black), a corporate lawyer who lives in a New York City, is a junior partner in huge family law firm lives in a New York City, helps Lisa get maternity bills paid; well said, ALCREATOR LITT DEAR
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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This chapter of the book, as usual, keeps an orderly, progressive taletelling, now the point of the chapter is nothing so important, here author tells how the central character Ali (Alexandra Black), a corporate lawyer who lives in a New York City, is a junior partner in huge family law firm lives in a New York City, helps Lisa get maternity bills paid; well said, ALCREATOR LITT DEAR
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
She sure went after him with all her guns firing. I hope Pat has a least enough sense to just pay up and shut his mouth. But good sense doesn't seem to be Pat greatest skill.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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She sure went after him with all her guns firing. I hope Pat has a least enough sense to just pay up and shut his mouth. But good sense doesn't seem to be Pat greatest skill.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Pat is too arrogant to believe he did anything wrong. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Your chapter was very well written, and rich in theme and imagery. Great job at writing this. I enjoyed reading it. It flowed well with no grammar issues. Your chapter was both interesting and captivating to read. I liked the quick moving dialogue in your story. Nice job. I liked your story because it is good when justice prevails. I'm looking forward to your next chapter. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Your chapter was very well written, and rich in theme and imagery. Great job at writing this. I enjoyed reading it. It flowed well with no grammar issues. Your chapter was both interesting and captivating to read. I liked the quick moving dialogue in your story. Nice job. I liked your story because it is good when justice prevails. I'm looking forward to your next chapter. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ricky1024
This Quiet Lawyer Chapter 29 was another very well written piece rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
My Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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This Quiet Lawyer Chapter 29 was another very well written piece rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
My Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I have one complaint, Barbara. This chapter was too short! I wanted to keep reading. More...more...
Your chapter was flawless and captivating. I really did want to keep reading. Guess I'll have to wait until Valentine's Day.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I have one complaint, Barbara. This chapter was too short! I wanted to keep reading. More...more...
Your chapter was flawless and captivating. I really did want to keep reading. Guess I'll have to wait until Valentine's Day.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rebecca Roberts1
Interesting story. Quick moving dialogue, no beating around the bush in your story.
Might want to fix the quotation marks around Judge Picket's last statement.
Nice job.
Looking forward to the next.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Interesting story. Quick moving dialogue, no beating around the bush in your story.
Might want to fix the quotation marks around Judge Picket's last statement.
Nice job.
Looking forward to the next.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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LOL I changed that late yesterday afternoon and still got it wrong. Thank you for pointing it out. I appreciate the help.
Comment from lancellot
Structurally, your writing is fine. But this is wrong. I would seriously consider reviewing all the legal aspects of your book, considering your main character is a corporate lawyer (who does everything but). She does things that would and could never happen.
I know you think. "He just doesn't like my stories or me." But that isn't true. I wouldn't tell this to hurt you. But to not tell you, or to pretend is more disrespectful than anything. You need to really research and then redo all the legal parts: courts, judges, missing DAs, crimes, and police procedures of your book. Most are also so untimely. Meaning they happen at speeds unheard of, and impossible. And so many legal rules, phases, laws and limits are simply ignored... seemingly to just "Get the bad man" Why does Rogers even have a lawyer? He may as well have a five-year-old kid who's half asleep.
Notes:
Judge Pickett sat. "Before we start," he glared at Pat.
-This is still wrong. Judge Pickett can't do all these different things. I would urge more research. Also, isn't he a bit too openly biased in open court? None of this would stand judicial review, let alone an appeal.
She has no desire or time for dating. By no fault of hers, Mr. Rogers forced himself on her, and she became pregnant."
- A lawyer couldn't say any of this in court. Was Rogers convicted of rape? What does dating or being married have to do with being pregnant?
- Also, by Mrs. Johnson being a business owner it makes the entire idea of her "having sex with a banker to get a loan" sound a lot less like rape, and more like Prostitution. A huge weak point in the storyline is Rogers having the only bank or loan option people have access too, in this day and age. A dozen plus women, in secret, in a small town, with no other options in Texas, in the United States, in 2022, with no-internet, or payday loans or online loans, or car loans or... do you see?
Alexandra held up two papers. "Your Honor, may I approach the bench?"
- Another error. You keep having only one party approach the bench.
"We're asking Mr. Rogers pays her prenatal care and delivery costs.
- A father can be held responsible for a child after it is born, not before. And not the mother. This entire line makes no sense. These proceedings wouldn't even happen without a baby first.
"I anticipated Mr. Rogers would claim he's not the father. The timeline for when she became pregnant fits perfectly with the timeline of when your client raped her."
-What did this judge just say? OMG
Judge Pickett nodded. "Mr. Rogers, they're within their right to do so."
- What??? Forgetting that calling someone a slut is opinion based, and you cannot sue. To be brought up in a "family" court. What is happening?
He stood. "I'll issue a restraining order. That should help with the other issues. "Good." The judge slammed the gavel.
- Now he can issue restraining orders too, and without a formal hearing or failing any legal paperwork first too. And in a case he is hearing for another matter. What?
You can write, and I don't want to give you a four or less, but these are really bad errors. Please, if you don't believe me, research on your own.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Structurally, your writing is fine. But this is wrong. I would seriously consider reviewing all the legal aspects of your book, considering your main character is a corporate lawyer (who does everything but). She does things that would and could never happen.
I know you think. "He just doesn't like my stories or me." But that isn't true. I wouldn't tell this to hurt you. But to not tell you, or to pretend is more disrespectful than anything. You need to really research and then redo all the legal parts: courts, judges, missing DAs, crimes, and police procedures of your book. Most are also so untimely. Meaning they happen at speeds unheard of, and impossible. And so many legal rules, phases, laws and limits are simply ignored... seemingly to just "Get the bad man" Why does Rogers even have a lawyer? He may as well have a five-year-old kid who's half asleep.
Notes:
Judge Pickett sat. "Before we start," he glared at Pat.
-This is still wrong. Judge Pickett can't do all these different things. I would urge more research. Also, isn't he a bit too openly biased in open court? None of this would stand judicial review, let alone an appeal.
She has no desire or time for dating. By no fault of hers, Mr. Rogers forced himself on her, and she became pregnant."
- A lawyer couldn't say any of this in court. Was Rogers convicted of rape? What does dating or being married have to do with being pregnant?
- Also, by Mrs. Johnson being a business owner it makes the entire idea of her "having sex with a banker to get a loan" sound a lot less like rape, and more like Prostitution. A huge weak point in the storyline is Rogers having the only bank or loan option people have access too, in this day and age. A dozen plus women, in secret, in a small town, with no other options in Texas, in the United States, in 2022, with no-internet, or payday loans or online loans, or car loans or... do you see?
Alexandra held up two papers. "Your Honor, may I approach the bench?"
- Another error. You keep having only one party approach the bench.
"We're asking Mr. Rogers pays her prenatal care and delivery costs.
- A father can be held responsible for a child after it is born, not before. And not the mother. This entire line makes no sense. These proceedings wouldn't even happen without a baby first.
"I anticipated Mr. Rogers would claim he's not the father. The timeline for when she became pregnant fits perfectly with the timeline of when your client raped her."
-What did this judge just say? OMG
Judge Pickett nodded. "Mr. Rogers, they're within their right to do so."
- What??? Forgetting that calling someone a slut is opinion based, and you cannot sue. To be brought up in a "family" court. What is happening?
He stood. "I'll issue a restraining order. That should help with the other issues. "Good." The judge slammed the gavel.
- Now he can issue restraining orders too, and without a formal hearing or failing any legal paperwork first too. And in a case he is hearing for another matter. What?
You can write, and I don't want to give you a four or less, but these are really bad errors. Please, if you don't believe me, research on your own.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you.
Comment from Sally Law
I see you are moving towards the end. Hopefully we can get the paternity test taken care of and everyone pressing on to their happily ever after.
A few improvements for your fine book.
--Judge Pickett sat. "Before we start," he glared at Pat "I suggest Mr. Rogers remains silent. Period needed after Pat.
--Sean slammed the gavel. [Judge] or [Judge Pickett] slammed the gavel. Use the Judge's last name, not Sean.
Other comments in the courtroom:
The Judge does not threaten. If you you do this, I will do that. That's not how it works in court. The judge meters out equal justice under the law. Innocent until proven guilty.
Nothing can be ruled on paternity unless there's DNA testing. Nothing else would hold up in court and the reason for this session, I presume.
If the defendant is behaving badly, a restraining order should be used to keep everyone away from each other and to prevent altercations, not policing by the judge.
What is this coming from the judge?
He stood and stared into Pat's eyes. ["I'd better not hear] any rumor concerning any of these ladies or you'll be charged with slander. [You'd better make it your mission] that Mrs. Johnson and her baby remain safe. Do you have any questions?"
The above is completely out of character for a judge. Again, a judge does not threaten, nor can a judge make someone behave. If they commmit a crime, they will be arrested, Mirandized, charged, arraigned, the bail is set, and the accused is either pays the percent required for bail, or remains in jail until the trial.
Nothing additional is slapped on in court without an official charge, even if it may be true, and even if the person is a low-lying scum bag.
I hope this is helpful.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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I see you are moving towards the end. Hopefully we can get the paternity test taken care of and everyone pressing on to their happily ever after.
A few improvements for your fine book.
--Judge Pickett sat. "Before we start," he glared at Pat "I suggest Mr. Rogers remains silent. Period needed after Pat.
--Sean slammed the gavel. [Judge] or [Judge Pickett] slammed the gavel. Use the Judge's last name, not Sean.
Other comments in the courtroom:
The Judge does not threaten. If you you do this, I will do that. That's not how it works in court. The judge meters out equal justice under the law. Innocent until proven guilty.
Nothing can be ruled on paternity unless there's DNA testing. Nothing else would hold up in court and the reason for this session, I presume.
If the defendant is behaving badly, a restraining order should be used to keep everyone away from each other and to prevent altercations, not policing by the judge.
What is this coming from the judge?
He stood and stared into Pat's eyes. ["I'd better not hear] any rumor concerning any of these ladies or you'll be charged with slander. [You'd better make it your mission] that Mrs. Johnson and her baby remain safe. Do you have any questions?"
The above is completely out of character for a judge. Again, a judge does not threaten, nor can a judge make someone behave. If they commmit a crime, they will be arrested, Mirandized, charged, arraigned, the bail is set, and the accused is either pays the percent required for bail, or remains in jail until the trial.
Nothing additional is slapped on in court without an official charge, even if it may be true, and even if the person is a low-lying scum bag.
I hope this is helpful.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Thank you. I have made the corrections.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Barbara,
Your story feels so real it could be nonfiction. I like when justice prevail. Men like Pat Roger must be stopped and put behind bars.
Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Barbara,
Your story feels so real it could be nonfiction. I like when justice prevail. Men like Pat Roger must be stopped and put behind bars.
Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the encouragement.
