Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Deux Parts"Musing of an old man
23 total reviews
Comment from karenina
So often a family cycle is repeated over and over through the generations...
It's best to keep the love, and what good memories you can cling to and build from there, as you begin your own family, and your poem shows clearly you did just that!
I have two adult children, as different as night and day ~ each is talented in their own right, and like you, I would have felt blessed if there were another one in the mix...
Too late for that! Ah! But the grandchildren! THAT is what makes these golden years golden!
Karenina
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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So often a family cycle is repeated over and over through the generations...
It's best to keep the love, and what good memories you can cling to and build from there, as you begin your own family, and your poem shows clearly you did just that!
I have two adult children, as different as night and day ~ each is talented in their own right, and like you, I would have felt blessed if there were another one in the mix...
Too late for that! Ah! But the grandchildren! THAT is what makes these golden years golden!
Karenina
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Karenina, I value your words of validation. Yes, the grandchildren are healing salve of an old wound ? Thank you 🙏
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My grandchildren are my greatest joy!
Comment from jacquelyn popp
This is a wonderful poem with a great message about family. It is a lovely poem about family. It read very well and your rhyming pattern was nicely done. Very good rhyming in your poem. Your poem flowed smoothly and tells a great story about family. I like that it also had a touch of humor in it. It was nice to read that some families learned a better way when it comes to raising kids. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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This is a wonderful poem with a great message about family. It is a lovely poem about family. It read very well and your rhyming pattern was nicely done. Very good rhyming in your poem. Your poem flowed smoothly and tells a great story about family. I like that it also had a touch of humor in it. It was nice to read that some families learned a better way when it comes to raising kids. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you Jacquelyn! I value your words of validation. Thank you 🙏
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I think you're describing many families with this poem. Despite the number that comes along, each is loved.
I like the line "While over the long years, we barely spoke." True, our children couldn't wait to get away from us and each other.
But they come back, and it's as if they never left. "Family is something that should never be adjourned." Agree one-hundred percent!
A lovely poem about family. Good luck in the contest.
Pam
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I think you're describing many families with this poem. Despite the number that comes along, each is loved.
I like the line "While over the long years, we barely spoke." True, our children couldn't wait to get away from us and each other.
But they come back, and it's as if they never left. "Family is something that should never be adjourned." Agree one-hundred percent!
A lovely poem about family. Good luck in the contest.
Pam
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Dear friend, Pam. Thank you and bless you!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your poem about family read well, JLR. I liked the use of rhymes,
the smooth flow, and the great story told. Yes, family is what one
makes it--whether with the original group or on your own. Your
words were well thought out and told of working together and not
giving up.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Your poem about family read well, JLR. I liked the use of rhymes,
the smooth flow, and the great story told. Yes, family is what one
makes it--whether with the original group or on your own. Your
words were well thought out and told of working together and not
giving up.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Jan, I value your words of validation. Thank you 🙏
Comment from Aussie
Most enjoyable family poem with a touch of humor. You were meant for each other, forty years married is such a win - fall. Sometimes it's not about the money, they say love conquers all. You had what you needed and that was all for you both.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Most enjoyable family poem with a touch of humor. You were meant for each other, forty years married is such a win - fall. Sometimes it's not about the money, they say love conquers all. You had what you needed and that was all for you both.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Aussie, enough is just a mind thing. This word would be a great conversation piece with vast and unique meanings for each individual.
Comment from Kaiku
Good stuff. You painting or graphic initially reminded me of Picaso in a good way. Families can be that way, a bit odd-looking at times but in the end there is reason in the madness. Good luck in the prompt.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Good stuff. You painting or graphic initially reminded me of Picaso in a good way. Families can be that way, a bit odd-looking at times but in the end there is reason in the madness. Good luck in the prompt.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Smiles of thanks sent back!
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi
The first part shows a group of siblings loving each other and keeping one another safe from parents who don't know what love its. Maybe even abusive
The second part shows that the chain can be broken and love and a family can be found if one learns from parents what love isn't and others around them what love is.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Hi
The first part shows a group of siblings loving each other and keeping one another safe from parents who don't know what love its. Maybe even abusive
The second part shows that the chain can be broken and love and a family can be found if one learns from parents what love isn't and others around them what love is.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Joan, thanks for your interruption on this poem.
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You're very welcome, Jim.
Joan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This writing prompt entry caused me to smile, especially Part 1. I gave birth to five boys. I was only blessed to raise four of them. Two of the four are math geeks, point A to point B thinkers. I spent 26 years teaching first grade and really, I'm not sure there is a point A or B. LOL These two boys are positive I am not their mother and there was a mix up at the hospital. LOL You have a blessed family.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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This writing prompt entry caused me to smile, especially Part 1. I gave birth to five boys. I was only blessed to raise four of them. Two of the four are math geeks, point A to point B thinkers. I spent 26 years teaching first grade and really, I'm not sure there is a point A or B. LOL These two boys are positive I am not their mother and there was a mix up at the hospital. LOL You have a blessed family.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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LOL and smiles back!
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Deux Parts, sounds like the kids grew up and created families unlike what they experienced. Raising kids is a lesson, for sure. Nice to read some families learned a better way.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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This poem, Deux Parts, sounds like the kids grew up and created families unlike what they experienced. Raising kids is a lesson, for sure. Nice to read some families learned a better way.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Thanks Bill, spot on!
Comment from Wendy G
Very different and very original in format, and I like the concluding four lines. If only all families could be like that. You have expressed yourself and told about your family well, with wit and humour, so I send best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Very different and very original in format, and I like the concluding four lines. If only all families could be like that. You have expressed yourself and told about your family well, with wit and humour, so I send best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Wendy, as always, I send my thanks back in abundance.
