I Can Await
sonnet type=aabb47 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
Yep. I agree all we can do is enjoy each day as it comes life is running out for us old timers. We are happy to just wake up in the morning. I lost a very good friend yesterday he's had diabities, and heart condition. His body just gave out. His wife and Zi have been friends for twelve years now, she like me knew it was just a matter of time befor God came to call him home. He died at home with his famuky around him kievmy husband did four years ago. You stay safe you hear,
We'd. Feb. 8-2023
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Yep. I agree all we can do is enjoy each day as it comes life is running out for us old timers. We are happy to just wake up in the morning. I lost a very good friend yesterday he's had diabities, and heart condition. His body just gave out. His wife and Zi have been friends for twelve years now, she like me knew it was just a matter of time befor God came to call him home. He died at home with his famuky around him kievmy husband did four years ago. You stay safe you hear,
We'd. Feb. 8-2023
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jay,
This poem simply states that we should live each day as it comes and find joy or sorrow along the way. We are always searching and praying to find our ways to Heaven in the end.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
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Hi Jay,
This poem simply states that we should live each day as it comes and find joy or sorrow along the way. We are always searching and praying to find our ways to Heaven in the end.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from DeboraDyess
You have that spot on. But it's so HARD! I live far too much inside my own head, which can be good ... or not so good.
I'll try to learn from you and do better with the 'today' thing!
No corrections or suggestions,k of course. YOu always ace these.
Blessings,
Deb
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You have that spot on. But it's so HARD! I live far too much inside my own head, which can be good ... or not so good.
I'll try to learn from you and do better with the 'today' thing!
No corrections or suggestions,k of course. YOu always ace these.
Blessings,
Deb
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from Jim Wile
I like this poem about living for today, and not worrying about tomorrow for fear it will bring sorrow. And if it doesn't, then view it as a new toy to enjoy. That's a win all the way around. Very well put.
Your rhyming was great and most of the iambic tetrameter meter, but two lines stood out to me that didn't hold up:
If tomorrow brings peace and joy,
'twill be like finding a new toy.
To make the first of these have 4 beats, you have to have two consecutive downbeats (on "brings" and "peace"), with a pause in between. It would sound better if you said, "If tomorrow brings both peace and joy."
On the second line, to keep 4 beats, you have to put the accent on "a", a word not normally accented. It would sound more natural to say "'twill be like finding a brand new toy."
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I like this poem about living for today, and not worrying about tomorrow for fear it will bring sorrow. And if it doesn't, then view it as a new toy to enjoy. That's a win all the way around. Very well put.
Your rhyming was great and most of the iambic tetrameter meter, but two lines stood out to me that didn't hold up:
If tomorrow brings peace and joy,
'twill be like finding a new toy.
To make the first of these have 4 beats, you have to have two consecutive downbeats (on "brings" and "peace"), with a pause in between. It would sound better if you said, "If tomorrow brings both peace and joy."
On the second line, to keep 4 beats, you have to put the accent on "a", a word not normally accented. It would sound more natural to say "'twill be like finding a brand new toy."
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from jenintorre
Hi there Jaybird
There comes a time in our lives when we can look back at the good times and the bad but we live each day as it comes. No more planning for the can really relate to this poem.
Take care. Jen.
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Hi there Jaybird
There comes a time in our lives when we can look back at the good times and the bad but we live each day as it comes. No more planning for the can really relate to this poem.
Take care. Jen.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from harmony13
Living one day at a time are words truly spoken! The author's words
are comforting, clear and creative. I like the ways the author describes
love and peace like a toy! The poem is uplifting! Thank you for the
author's notes - they validate the words of this poem.
Great Poem, Jay! Your poetry always amazes me!
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Living one day at a time are words truly spoken! The author's words
are comforting, clear and creative. I like the ways the author describes
love and peace like a toy! The poem is uplifting! Thank you for the
author's notes - they validate the words of this poem.
Great Poem, Jay! Your poetry always amazes me!
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wonderful poem.
Good rhyme and meter that doesn't sound forced.
Nice presentation and imagery.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
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Wonderful poem.
Good rhyme and meter that doesn't sound forced.
Nice presentation and imagery.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I agree. However, too many dwell on the past. Your
poem was well written with good rhymes, smooth
flow, and a great message. Yes, all should live for
today--the past can't be changed. One never knows
when their name will be called.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
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I agree. However, too many dwell on the past. Your
poem was well written with good rhymes, smooth
flow, and a great message. Yes, all should live for
today--the past can't be changed. One never knows
when their name will be called.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Jaybird, as always, your poems are words to live by. Your writing is inspirational and uplifting. You are such a wonderful role model.
I especially liked:
I want to live my life each day-
Await whatever's on the way.
(Our road has been chosen. How we do down it is our choice--gracefully/ungracefully, respectfully/disrespectfully, etc.)
Well done. Good rhyming. Your message is clear. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
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Hello Jaybird, as always, your poems are words to live by. Your writing is inspirational and uplifting. You are such a wonderful role model.
I especially liked:
I want to live my life each day-
Await whatever's on the way.
(Our road has been chosen. How we do down it is our choice--gracefully/ungracefully, respectfully/disrespectfully, etc.)
Well done. Good rhyming. Your message is clear. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
Comment from Richard Montfort Cary
Jaybird,
No more needs be said:
"...I want to live my life each day-
Await whatever's on the way...."
and of course
"...One day at a time is the best way to live your life...."
Thus spake the wise man!
Richard
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Jaybird,
No more needs be said:
"...I want to live my life each day-
Await whatever's on the way...."
and of course
"...One day at a time is the best way to live your life...."
Thus spake the wise man!
Richard
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
