How My Sound Was Tracked
Where the music came from in every stage of my lifetime39 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
I really enjoyed this poem. Reason one: I thought it was a clever take on the contest prompt, and I like that you wanted to do it slightly differently. Your method is clever and cool. I liked it a lot. Reason two: I very much enjoyed the rhyming in each stanza, though slightly puzzled why stanza three only had three lines instead of four. Did one get left off inadvertently? The rhymes are especially interesting in that many are slant rhymes, but all are creative and unique. Reason three: The poem flows musically and tells a life story beautifully. I think there are a few editing errors that will make it even better;
***As she sang I felt her heart beat, and heard her love rejoice
ST (??? What is this ST here for?)
***Then for me, the ext (Something missing here) would be, the sound so suitab (le missing from the word suitable)
***A little box called radio, would proved (leave off the 'd') on prove) to be so usable
***Then this lovely piece of furniture, made music beautiful ~
. (period here?)
***As a record or an album turned, it then turned musical (overuse of the word 'then')
You have such a lovely thing going on. I guess I want to see it as a perfect entry in the contest. Hope this is helpful.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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I really enjoyed this poem. Reason one: I thought it was a clever take on the contest prompt, and I like that you wanted to do it slightly differently. Your method is clever and cool. I liked it a lot. Reason two: I very much enjoyed the rhyming in each stanza, though slightly puzzled why stanza three only had three lines instead of four. Did one get left off inadvertently? The rhymes are especially interesting in that many are slant rhymes, but all are creative and unique. Reason three: The poem flows musically and tells a life story beautifully. I think there are a few editing errors that will make it even better;
***As she sang I felt her heart beat, and heard her love rejoice
ST (??? What is this ST here for?)
***Then for me, the ext (Something missing here) would be, the sound so suitab (le missing from the word suitable)
***A little box called radio, would proved (leave off the 'd') on prove) to be so usable
***Then this lovely piece of furniture, made music beautiful ~
. (period here?)
***As a record or an album turned, it then turned musical (overuse of the word 'then')
You have such a lovely thing going on. I guess I want to see it as a perfect entry in the contest. Hope this is helpful.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thanks Adonna. I just came back from edits. I was awake most of the night and fell asleep without having my edits done and no saving and actually accidentally adding a few more errors onto it. What a mess. I am almost done and I apologize.
Comment from rjuselius
This is a fine piece of poetry dear anonymous! I really feel your energy. Your tribute to music is beautiful.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings with hugs and kisses,
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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This is a fine piece of poetry dear anonymous! I really feel your energy. Your tribute to music is beautiful.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings with hugs and kisses,
Rebekka x
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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I thank you so much Rebekka. You are always so sweet and I am so glad that I have gotten a chance to know you better. I appreciate your kind comments so much!!
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My pleasure entirely dear friend <3
Comment from BethShelby
This is a good poem for the soundtrack of your life contest. We've all heard the music of our lives from many different sources. The names of the songs are so many but the ways in which we hear them matters. It would be heartbreaking if our ears were no longer able to pick up sound.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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This is a good poem for the soundtrack of your life contest. We've all heard the music of our lives from many different sources. The names of the songs are so many but the ways in which we hear them matters. It would be heartbreaking if our ears were no longer able to pick up sound.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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Oh I agree, but would have liked to added mine in the contest more, but mine were so much like most every one else. So that is why I went this way. However I do love the dance music of Donna Summers, Abba and a few, so I added one stanza along with my YouTube video that plays numerous ones from my favorite era of the 70's. Thanks for the very kind review and comments Beth. You are so sweet and I am so happy that I am getting a better chance to know you. Thanks again my dear friend.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Mystery Writer,
A wonderful premise to which many readers will relate.
However, there are a number of areas that need attention, if I may:
1. "Noise" doesn't rhyme with your chosen end rhymes of voice, choice, and rejoice.
2. ST between first and second stanza = gremlins at play?
3.
Then for me, the ext (next) would be, the (a) sound so suitab (suitable)
A little box called radio, would proved (prove) to be so (quite = to avoid "be so" in the preceding line) usable
4. The last stanza holds fine information; however, I'd rework it to improve its flow.
Hoping I have helped.
Best Wishes,
diane
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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Good morning, Mystery Writer,
A wonderful premise to which many readers will relate.
However, there are a number of areas that need attention, if I may:
1. "Noise" doesn't rhyme with your chosen end rhymes of voice, choice, and rejoice.
2. ST between first and second stanza = gremlins at play?
3.
Then for me, the ext (next) would be, the (a) sound so suitab (suitable)
A little box called radio, would proved (prove) to be so (quite = to avoid "be so" in the preceding line) usable
4. The last stanza holds fine information; however, I'd rework it to improve its flow.
Hoping I have helped.
Best Wishes,
diane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thank you Diane. You are very kind and I appreciate your feedback,
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Thanks Diane, . I just came back from edits. I wasn't sure what all you were seeing and to my horror, I realized that I must have fallen asleep while making changes and made it even worse. I was awake most of the night and fell asleep without having my edits done and no saving and actually accidentally adding a few more errors onto it. What a mess. I am almost done and I apologize for what it must have looked like to me because I couldn't what I found. Thank you for having me look at it fast, and now that I have fixed some of them already I will look at your feedback to see what is left to correct.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, How My Sound was Tracked, presented with four mostly mono-rhymed quatrains, gives the readers a bit of a history of how our music was delivered to us. Memories.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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This poem, How My Sound was Tracked, presented with four mostly mono-rhymed quatrains, gives the readers a bit of a history of how our music was delivered to us. Memories.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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Hi Bill, I would have liked to add my music choices in my poem, for the contest, but mine were so much like most every one else. So that is why I went this way. However I do love the dance music of Donna Summers, Abba and a few, so I added one more stanza along with my YouTube video that plays numerous ones from my favorite era of the 70's. Thanks for the very kind review and comments. You are so kind! Thanks again my dear friend.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi,
This poem shows the importance of music in all its forms and how its emanation changed through the years. No matter from what source it can tell the story of your life.
I think you forgot the 'le' on suitable. Why is there an SJ between the first and second stanzas.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Hi,
This poem shows the importance of music in all its forms and how its emanation changed through the years. No matter from what source it can tell the story of your life.
I think you forgot the 'le' on suitable. Why is there an SJ between the first and second stanzas.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thanks Joan, I just came back from edits.It somehow jumped out of editing. I was awake most of the night and fell asleep without having my edits done and no saving and actually accidentally adding a few more errors onto it. What a mess. I am almost done and I apologize.
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Don't mention it. No apologies necessary. We all make mistakes.
Joan
Comment from Sanku
This is a very good tracking of your musical history.I liked the way you dealt the theme.I am also a music fan and I love to listen to hits of JimReeves and Cliff Richards...(and others too)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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This is a very good tracking of your musical history.I liked the way you dealt the theme.I am also a music fan and I love to listen to hits of JimReeves and Cliff Richards...(and others too)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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Hi Santha. Oh I love Jim Reeves, and Roy Orbison, etc.. they were the greats of that era. I would have liked to add my music choices in my poem, for the contest, but mine were so much like most every one else. So that is why I went this way. However I do love the dance music of Donna Summers, Abba and a few, so I added one more stanza along with my YouTube video that plays numerous ones from my favorite era of the 70's. Thanks for the very kind review and comments. You are so kind! Thanks again my dear friend.
Comment from jmdg1954
This brought me back, we have the same journey I'm 68. You?
I lived them all as you did. I'm sure you had a transistor radio or two as well.
Thanks for the journey my friend.
Look at this line for possible corrections -
Then for me, the (n)ext would be, the sound so suitab(le)
John
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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This brought me back, we have the same journey I'm 68. You?
I lived them all as you did. I'm sure you had a transistor radio or two as well.
Thanks for the journey my friend.
Look at this line for possible corrections -
Then for me, the (n)ext would be, the sound so suitab(le)
John
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thanks John,. I just came back from edits. I was awake most of the night and fell asleep without having my edits done and no saving and actually accidentally adding a few more errors onto it. What a mess. I am almost done and I apologize. Yes I am 68 and I do appreciate your kind review.
But would really appreciate if at some point when I get the rest of the errors fixed if you would look at it again.
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Sure. Send me a message when completed.
Comment from Karyn2
How great is music in our lives!! I loved hearing about how music was a key part of your whole life journey. You managed to fit so many musical things into this poem. Some slant rhymes didn't quite work for me like "visual" and "flow" but quite an effort to have end rhymes for a whole stanza. I felt the 3rd stanza was really strong in rhythm and rhyme. Best wishes for the contest!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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How great is music in our lives!! I loved hearing about how music was a key part of your whole life journey. You managed to fit so many musical things into this poem. Some slant rhymes didn't quite work for me like "visual" and "flow" but quite an effort to have end rhymes for a whole stanza. I felt the 3rd stanza was really strong in rhythm and rhyme. Best wishes for the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Hi Karyn, Thanks hon, you caught me writing half sleeping half awake, cause, l thought it due today. India make some changes Ibut I'm surprised you debits tell me what a mess it was. Thank .....
My sweet Friend
