Within the Bone
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "A Quiet Morning"A tale of love, magic, and revenge.
3 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You presented us with a fine description of an unacceptable, intense, love affair. The passion and devotion between the two shone through. I felt the end distracted slightly from the mood you had created and wondered what would happen if you ended your chapter at:
"I know, but if you had never met me..."
"Then I would be miserable or dead," the sorcerer said firmly.
kay
Please consider:
because had endless stories > because he had endless stories
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
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You presented us with a fine description of an unacceptable, intense, love affair. The passion and devotion between the two shone through. I felt the end distracted slightly from the mood you had created and wondered what would happen if you ended your chapter at:
"I know, but if you had never met me..."
"Then I would be miserable or dead," the sorcerer said firmly.
kay
Please consider:
because had endless stories > because he had endless stories
Comment Written 21-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I?ll fix the error you saw (thank you for taking the time to point it out). I really appreciate your time and I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Ricky1024
This Chapter Entitled, "A Quiet Morning"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It also, read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned most Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed Sabbath Sunday!
Doctor Ricky1024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
|
This Chapter Entitled, "A Quiet Morning"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It also, read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned most Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed Sabbath Sunday!
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 21-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your time and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your story has a lovely flow of words. It is so nicely written that it takes the reader into the story. I can visualize every scene. I will be looking forward to the next chapter. Nice writing.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
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Your story has a lovely flow of words. It is so nicely written that it takes the reader into the story. I can visualize every scene. I will be looking forward to the next chapter. Nice writing.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I?ve been trying to polish prose, so I really appreciate the feedback. I hope you have a wonderful day.
