Bad Moving Day
Complete Fiction.48 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
Ha! Ha! I read this recently on a Jokes site and it gave me a good laugh. You've turned it deftly into a short poem for our enjoyment! Well done, and good luck in the contest.
  |
Ha! Ha! I read this recently on a Jokes site and it gave me a good laugh. You've turned it deftly into a short poem for our enjoyment! Well done, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
Comment from Wendy G
Well, that's different, and humorous, and gives insight into the way children think. A fun presentation for the contest. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
|
Well, that's different, and humorous, and gives insight into the way children think. A fun presentation for the contest. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a funny 25 syllable poem. The text is great size. I like it centered because it is more prominent. However, the poem's spacing in the poem box needs to be adjusted a bit. Drop the first line down one or two spaces. Then it will be better balanced in the poem box. The message is brief but clearly stated. It is still also poetic with the rhyming lines. The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest. Thanks for the chuckle. I needed it.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
 |
This is a funny 25 syllable poem. The text is great size. I like it centered because it is more prominent. However, the poem's spacing in the poem box needs to be adjusted a bit. Drop the first line down one or two spaces. Then it will be better balanced in the poem box. The message is brief but clearly stated. It is still also poetic with the rhyming lines. The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest. Thanks for the chuckle. I needed it.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
-
Thanks Sandra, Gosh it is good to see you back. I have missed you girl!
If you don't think people notice, remember we are a family. And I took your suggestion, even though I didn't think it was such a big deal in such a short poem, I still like to try the feedback to see if it helps. Actually I gave it an extra space on the bottom too and think it looks great. Thank you for that, your kind comments and your extra sweet star. Thank you for the whole awesome package. And once again I am happy to see you and hope you weren't ill.
-
Happy New Year! You are most welcome. I voted for this poem. It was for me the best.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, I'm a little slow on the draw. I head to keep reading your poem, and finally, it hit me. A person hits the top of the ketchup to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle, especially if its H*inz. Very good, very cute. A fun poem for quick thinkers. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
|
Hello author, I'm a little slow on the draw. I head to keep reading your poem, and finally, it hit me. A person hits the top of the ketchup to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle, especially if its H*inz. Very good, very cute. A fun poem for quick thinkers. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
Comment from Annmuma
I love this one -- feel like I have just read the winner!! If not, it certainly gets my vote. Funny, great for any mom to read. Creative
Let me read the others - I'm sure alsorans. ann
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
|
I love this one -- feel like I have just read the winner!! If not, it certainly gets my vote. Funny, great for any mom to read. Creative
Let me read the others - I'm sure alsorans. ann
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
-
Oh Ann, thank you so very for your very sweet review and comments.,
You are so kind. Thank you be also for the well wishes. Last time I looked it was tied in the voting booth for first. It won't be long now and we''ll see how it does.
Comment from karenina
Great title! How can we argue with children's logic? This one made me grin...
(My nephew wanted to be a milk bottle when he was little...because he loved cereal!)
What? Yup. That's what we said!
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
|
Great title! How can we argue with children's logic? This one made me grin...
(My nephew wanted to be a milk bottle when he was little...because he loved cereal!)
What? Yup. That's what we said!
Karenina
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
-
Awe, I would think that his auntie T told him he could be anything he wanted to be. That is so funny. My grandson is a corn dog nut so only eats them here. But his name is Carter and he loves ketchup so much that it is called Carter sauce here. Just a couple days before I wrote this, I thought about him pounding on that bottle trying to get some out and Lo and behold, a poem was born. So Thanks my sweet friend for your lovely review and fun story.
-
Too adorable! Give Carter a big hug!
Comment from Spitfire
Hilarious! Made me think of the time my husband was in the hospital, but they wouldn't let him check out until he had a bowel movement! I should have hit him on top of the head. Not only a rhyme scheme here, but also alliteration with toilet and top.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
|
Hilarious! Made me think of the time my husband was in the hospital, but they wouldn't let him check out until he had a bowel movement! I should have hit him on top of the head. Not only a rhyme scheme here, but also alliteration with toilet and top.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
-
-Thanks so much Shari! What a compliment coming from one with such wit and humor. It is doing well and is tied for first right now in the booth.
Thanks again
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Mystery Writer,
Definitely humorous.
However, my dad used to tell this "story" numerous times when I was a little girl, much to my mother's chagrin, along with "Little Peanut Sitting on a Railroad Track." He then told it to my children, and it can be found on the internet:
Here is an example:
A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet.
His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up.
The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every ten seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.
His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while..."
Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy...I just haven't gone 'doody' yet."
Mother says, "Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, " Works for ketchup."
(The 66+ Best Ketchup Jokes - �¢??UPJOKE)
Also:
(Joanna Fuchs - PoemSource.com):
A little boy sat on the toilet
He was in there way too long
His mom came in to check,
She thought something was wrong
He'd sit and sigh, sit and sigh
Then he'd slap the top of his head
"Why do you do that?" his mother asked.
"Works for ketchup," he said.
At any rate, your offering is humorous, but not original.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
 |
Hello, Mystery Writer,
Definitely humorous.
However, my dad used to tell this "story" numerous times when I was a little girl, much to my mother's chagrin, along with "Little Peanut Sitting on a Railroad Track." He then told it to my children, and it can be found on the internet:
Here is an example:
A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet.
His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up.
The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every ten seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.
His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while..."
Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy...I just haven't gone 'doody' yet."
Mother says, "Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, " Works for ketchup."
(The 66+ Best Ketchup Jokes - �¢??UPJOKE)
Also:
(Joanna Fuchs - PoemSource.com):
A little boy sat on the toilet
He was in there way too long
His mom came in to check,
She thought something was wrong
He'd sit and sigh, sit and sigh
Then he'd slap the top of his head
"Why do you do that?" his mother asked.
"Works for ketchup," he said.
At any rate, your offering is humorous, but not original.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
-
Oh no Diane, my grandson who often gives me ideas because he is a lit
Jokester gave me that thought. He was over last week and l always make him corndogs and while he was hitting the bottom of the ketchup bottle to get more out, was when he says, grandma this is what I have to do to go # 2. I hit myself on top of the head. It was so silly that I was sure it just our goober, his nickname. If that joke came from the internet, I would have never used it. I pride myself on being original. Here I thought the little joke he told me was his own thoughts. That is why I dedicated it to him. I think I'm more disappointed then I am embarrassed. And yet he didn't know that I would think it was funny enough to use. . Well in any case I do thank you for pointing it out, and for the kind things you said regardless. Thank you my friend.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The boy must like ketch-up! I have never thought of asking if a young child likes ketch-up, a bribery so they'll go to the bathroom. Very expressible words in this likeable poem.
|
The boy must like ketch-up! I have never thought of asking if a young child likes ketch-up, a bribery so they'll go to the bathroom. Very expressible words in this likeable poem.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
Comment from Paul McFarland
That was a unique idea. The title really had me fooled, and when I saw the lad on the toilet seat, I started to get what was going on. The "ketchup" idea was a great ending.
|
That was a unique idea. The title really had me fooled, and when I saw the lad on the toilet seat, I started to get what was going on. The "ketchup" idea was a great ending.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
