Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

This is the first I read of your story. I'm sorry I came across it with the last chapter. If I get some extra time, I may go to your profile and read some more of the story. Superb writing.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

This chapter is another well written one in your book,
"The Chronicles of Bethica: The Rise"
Rich in Theme and Imagery, it also read well and flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023

Thank you, Doctor Ricky.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I'm really surprised to read that fantasy is "not your genre" as you created this other world very well and the spectacular final battle with the assassin who seems to be a Nordoxz. Your creation of language, culture, and mythical creatures is amazing!
Blessings to you in the New Year! Hope you get to write more of the genre you love best.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your review and the stars.

Comment from Shirley McLain

Exceptional

Congratulations on finishing your well written story and getting your last six from me for this story. What do you plan on doing with the story? I have enjoyed reading your chapters. Have a wonderful day. Shirley

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023

Thank you so much, Shirley, for sticking with me on my first fantasy-writing journey. Unless he asked me to write the series, I'm going back to my own genre, Romance, horror and thrillers. Blessings.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Exceptional

Thank you, Amahra, for opening my mind to fantasy, which I would never have otherwise given a chance, and I've enjoyed every line of your story and brilliant writing. It's been a pleasure throughout, as has getting to know you better through the connection of writer to reader! Ric

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023

Thank you, Ric, I appreciate you so much for sticking with me on my first fantasy journey. It has been a pleasure.

reply by Ric Myworld on 16-Jan-2023

The pleasure has been all mine! Ric

Comment from Jay Squires

Exceptional

Well, of course the fellow you ghost-wrote for was pleased. He should have been ecstatic. You have created marvelous saga here that I never would have guessed was your first foray into fantasy. Here are a few things you may want to take a look at -- all minor.

Dressed in black, seven feet tall, over two hundred pounds [at 7 ft tall, he would be skinny at around 200 pounds. I would up it to 250-300 pounds.]

Both resumed a fighting stance--swords extended. [Shouldn't you say something more about the assassin's knee? When he fell, I was assuming it was nearly severed.]

Now what do you have for us?

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023

Thank you, Jay, for helping me through my first fantasy journey. I'll take a look at the knee scene, but I didn't say 200 pounds. I said "over" 200 pounds. :))

Comment from JT traveller

Excellent

You set the scene very well at the beginning of the chapter, even vividly describing the characters clothes. What a powerful creation you have made in Nam, vivid imagery. A well written and well received piece of writing.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Hmm, this is interesting. I enjoyed the combat scene. Though it took too long for help to arrive after the screaming boy ran. Also, I'm guessing the assassin wasn't human.

notes:

and quickly scrambled to his feet

- after having his knee severely split? Does he have a healing factor?

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you for reading and reviewing. No, no healing factor. He was like a wounded animal.

reply by lancellot on 15-Jan-2023

Then I recommend changing from severely splitting his knees to something else. He should not have been able to stand again, or fight.

reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2023

Yes, you're right about the knee scene. I changed it here but may do even more on the manuscript. Thank you for pointing it out

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I think you did a fine job of writing this book. Greatly descriptive in its apprehension of the characters, and a marvellous adventure, giving vibrancy to the characters and a wonderful sheen and progression to the story, a super job of image making and giving life to the pages of this novel, well done, blessings Roy

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 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you, Roy, for your support from beginning to the end of this book. I really appreciated it. Blessing.

reply by royowen on 15-Jan-2023

It was my reading pleasure Amahra, a triumph for you

reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Amahra, you have done a wonderful.jo hi in with.this one. You know I don't like fantasy much, and I'm surprised you don't either. You did it a wonderful job with this one. Ullaxx

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thank you, Ulla. I like fantasy but just not enough to write a book. :))