Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Hi Wils,
This short story tells us how most of us might feel at our death beds. It give the feeling of the end of time with the lessening number of ticks. It also reminds us the Heaven is our final home.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Joan

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2023

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

Congratulations on placing in the Flash Fiction Contest. I know it feels good to have your name mentioned on the front page of the site. Your story is short, succinct, and flows smoothly as the last thoughts of an individual on his death bed. The twist at the end is unexpected and humorous. Well done.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2023

Comment from CrystieCookie999

Excellent

What a fun piece of personification, as if the old year is speaking. The 'tick..tick' makes the reader think there is something going on in a hospital room, perhaps, but the ending is of course satisfying. Congratulations on the prize for this contest.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2023

Comment from Susan Newell

Excellent

Geoff,

I love this one. You suckered me right in. This should be a good contender for the contest. I liked the decreasing number of ticks and mention of the successor. Bravo!

Sue

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2023

Comment from JT traveller

Excellent

So passionately written. I pray you have more time. Death is inevitable but to know we have led an honest life is all we can hope for. The sentimentality in your poem screams loudly. Thankyou and happy New year to you too.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023

Thanks for your review. I was looking more at the passing of one year and the beginning of another.
Geoff

reply by JT traveller on 01-Jan-2023

Thankyou Geoff. Everyone interprets words from a different perspective. Hence the joy of writing.

Comment from Mary Shifman

Excellent

This is clever and a little creepy. I had no idea who the speaker was until the end and then it all made sense. Good luck in the contest. Happy New Year to you, too!

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.
Geoff

reply by Mary Shifman on 01-Jan-2023

You are welcome.

Comment from Ginda Simpson

Excellent

Love it! Not the ending we expect, which really works well for this 100 word flash fiction. You do have a small typo towards the end. Eliminate the word "be". Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022

Thanks for your review and for spotting the error. My editing skills need work.
Geoff

Comment from jessizero

Excellent

This was a great story! I didn't know what was going on, but that ending was a spectacular surprise. Thank you for sharing this, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022

Thanks for your review Jess. Surprise endings are always fun to write.
Geoff

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Yes, we are surrounded by ever changing vista, and although time doesn't define anything, we are still ruled by 12 midnight, but when on believes that time is arbitrary and does not rule life, only death, it's a different concept. I love the way you've personified time, or at least serialised it, beautifully written, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022

Thanks for your review Roy. Much appreciated.
Geoff

reply by royowen on 30-Dec-2022

A pleasure

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Excellent. You had me thinking someone was passing away. Then with a wham-bam thank you mam,
final tick.... Happy new years!

Great twist. Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers. John

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022

Thanks for your review John. Much appreciated.
Geoff