The beast and the beauty
From pain to peace (third place)15 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Morning Wendy,
This is an inspiring poem about figuring out that God can be found in silence. It does not have to be lonely and scary to be in silence. Faith lets you know this.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
  |
Morning Wendy,
This is an inspiring poem about figuring out that God can be found in silence. It does not have to be lonely and scary to be in silence. Faith lets you know this.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
-
Thank you very much Joan. I greatly appreciate your thoughtful and encouraging review, and the congratulations.
Wendy
-
Don't mention it, Wendy.
Joan
Comment from Michaela Moore
Profound! Such emotions pull my heart from each chosen word. Your imagery here is not of scenes but of feelings that are too real and raw to be put into words except in your masterful hands with poetry. I felt each grievous word...each mournful line. Exceptional work!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
|
Profound! Such emotions pull my heart from each chosen word. Your imagery here is not of scenes but of feelings that are too real and raw to be put into words except in your masterful hands with poetry. I felt each grievous word...each mournful line. Exceptional work!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
-
Thank you very much Michaela. Such an insightful review, and a very encouraging one.
Wendy
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This is an excellently written free-verse poem. The different viewpoints are all clearly shown, enhanced by the picture, and containing poetic elements. I don't know of it's the same in Australia, but from my editing days I learned that an ellipsis is written . . . , and if it's at the end of a sentence . . . . I hope it does well in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
|
This is an excellently written free-verse poem. The different viewpoints are all clearly shown, enhanced by the picture, and containing poetic elements. I don't know of it's the same in Australia, but from my editing days I learned that an ellipsis is written . . . , and if it's at the end of a sentence . . . . I hope it does well in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
-
Thank you Verna. A super review. No, we don?t do our ellipsis the same way. We tend to follow the British system. Thanks for your good wishes too.
Wendy
-
Thank you Verna. A super review. No, we don?t do our ellipsis the same way. We tend to follow the British system. Thanks for your good wishes too.
Wendy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm in awe of this free verse contest entry. I enjoyed reading. Silence can mean so many things, some horrible, some okay, and some perfect. If you're the owner of dachshund or raised four boys silence can be very suspicious. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
|
I'm in awe of this free verse contest entry. I enjoyed reading. Silence can mean so many things, some horrible, some okay, and some perfect. If you're the owner of dachshund or raised four boys silence can be very suspicious. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
-
Lol. Yes you make an excellent point! Thanks so much for reading and for your encouragement. My poem was based on my childhood experience. There were times my parents refused to speak to each other, for up to ten months. And my father rarely spoke to us unless he absolutely had to. It was like walking on eggshells all the time. Thanks again.
Wendy
Comment from robyn corum
Wendy,
Good morning, my darling! *smile* Hope you are well, fulfilled, and sassy today! (Don't ask me why I started this way - it just came out. haha! Hey - it may have been the mood of your poem!)
I do not typically enjoy or appreciate free verse/ free form poetry. But I like YOU so I jumped past that and read your post. I'm glad I did!
Although I had some questions at the end, I liked the balanced way you handled the topic. Kudos! Some of your wording and imagery was STELLAR. Example:
1.) I am drowning, lungs full of hurt
--> Wow! That line says what it might take a hundred lines for someone else to say! Great job!
2.) It's a lake - still as a silver mirror ... Reflecting His heart
--> Yummy!!
Other thoughts, if I may:
3.) If you are hoping for different colors to demonstrate the evolution of your message, please note that the fourth stanza's color looks almost the same as three? It may be me, but I hard time tellingt any difference.
4.) Now, yes, NOW I am at peace
Now I understand, and now I am free ...
--> Wait -- I missed something! What was the change? What inciting incident caused a change in perspective? Did the abuser leave - did you leave him/her?
5.) In your author notes - Evil Eddie popped in some of his nasty weird symbols. *smile*
So - yes! - I am glad I paused to read. Great job! Good luck in the voting!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
|
Wendy,
Good morning, my darling! *smile* Hope you are well, fulfilled, and sassy today! (Don't ask me why I started this way - it just came out. haha! Hey - it may have been the mood of your poem!)
I do not typically enjoy or appreciate free verse/ free form poetry. But I like YOU so I jumped past that and read your post. I'm glad I did!
Although I had some questions at the end, I liked the balanced way you handled the topic. Kudos! Some of your wording and imagery was STELLAR. Example:
1.) I am drowning, lungs full of hurt
--> Wow! That line says what it might take a hundred lines for someone else to say! Great job!
2.) It's a lake - still as a silver mirror ... Reflecting His heart
--> Yummy!!
Other thoughts, if I may:
3.) If you are hoping for different colors to demonstrate the evolution of your message, please note that the fourth stanza's color looks almost the same as three? It may be me, but I hard time tellingt any difference.
4.) Now, yes, NOW I am at peace
Now I understand, and now I am free ...
--> Wait -- I missed something! What was the change? What inciting incident caused a change in perspective? Did the abuser leave - did you leave him/her?
5.) In your author notes - Evil Eddie popped in some of his nasty weird symbols. *smile*
So - yes! - I am glad I paused to read. Great job! Good luck in the voting!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
-
Fabulous review, and I love your opening. I am so glad you chose to read and review. Thank you so much.
In answer to 4, I left home, but years later, I came to understand him, and forgive him, (thanks to the Lord at work in me), and he later came to the Lord.
I have fixed Evil Eddie?s interference. He does not like dots or dashes.
The colours are burgundy, teal, purple and green. Oh dear! I wanted subtle variations of the colours in the image, maybe they are too subtle!
If I hadn?t already just nominated you, I would do it now.
Wendy
Comment from Fleedleflump
Mike's top tip for the line spacing issue: When pasting into the advanced editor, use Ctrl, Shift and V - 'paste without formatting'. Then add your paragraph breaks, font, etc
I think this is masterful - to take silence as the theme and show the power it has to devastate or to be a balm, depending on context. You evoke that sensation of unspoken argument effectively and how it can twist us up inside, sometimes in situations where a few words could have freed both parties from anguish.
Mike
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
|
Mike's top tip for the line spacing issue: When pasting into the advanced editor, use Ctrl, Shift and V - 'paste without formatting'. Then add your paragraph breaks, font, etc
I think this is masterful - to take silence as the theme and show the power it has to devastate or to be a balm, depending on context. You evoke that sensation of unspoken argument effectively and how it can twist us up inside, sometimes in situations where a few words could have freed both parties from anguish.
Mike
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for that re the spacing. I?ll remember for the future! I?ll be back onto a proper computer soon, instead of a tiny iPad.
I am so glad you liked the poem, and you are right, context is everything. (Once my parents refused to speak to each other for ten months, and my father rarely spoke to us.)
Wendy
Comment from Paul McFarland
That's quite a change of pace, Wendy. I imagine that almost everybody has experienced the cycle that you have described. I think you should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
|
That's quite a change of pace, Wendy. I imagine that almost everybody has experienced the cycle that you have described. I think you should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
-
Thanks Paul. Very positive review, appreciated.
Yes it is. I wrote this one a few weeks ago, remembering my childhood when my parents didn?t speak to each other for ten months, and my father scarcely spoke to us. Context of silence is everything.
Wendy
Comment from Pantygynt
The difference is in the quality of the silence. When we are the object of another's silence we immediately know which type of silence is dominant, even if it is hard to counter it. To describe it to others as you have tried to do here is difficult, and it is not surprising that you have resorted to colour to assist you. Whether that was necessary is another matter altogether.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
|
The difference is in the quality of the silence. When we are the object of another's silence we immediately know which type of silence is dominant, even if it is hard to counter it. To describe it to others as you have tried to do here is difficult, and it is not surprising that you have resorted to colour to assist you. Whether that was necessary is another matter altogether.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
-
Thank you. Great review. I used the colour initially because all the stanzas ran together. But now I know how to fix that - once I get back to my computer. You are right- it is the quality of the silence, and its context.
Wendy
Comment from royowen
Beautifully written Wendy, oh yes indeed, if one has no love in their lives, they affective like a rudderless, motorless boat becalmed in a sea of weeds. This is superbly written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
|
Beautifully written Wendy, oh yes indeed, if one has no love in their lives, they affective like a rudderless, motorless boat becalmed in a sea of weeds. This is superbly written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
-
Thank you Roy. A lovely review - and very poetic! Greatly appreciated.
Wendy
-
Well done
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Beast and the Beauty, takes the reader through the battle with the void created by separation and refusing to pursue a reconnection. It all seems too hard.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
|
This poem, The Beast and the Beauty, takes the reader through the battle with the void created by separation and refusing to pursue a reconnection. It all seems too hard.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
-
Thanks Bill. I appreciate your thoughtful words.
Wendy