The Star in the Woods
A Madge story.17 total reviews
Comment from amahra
I love the story and it was very well-written; however, the below sentence did puzzle me a bit.
Suddenly, a woman with a long blue dress and apron emerges from a brightly lit, small blue home elevated on a slight hill behind the fire. [I have a problem visualizing this line.]
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
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I love the story and it was very well-written; however, the below sentence did puzzle me a bit.
Suddenly, a woman with a long blue dress and apron emerges from a brightly lit, small blue home elevated on a slight hill behind the fire. [I have a problem visualizing this line.]
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words! I'll be by to read.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
In this Madge story, Madge is a decisive person, other characters are realistic and contributory; plot moves not so fast but progressive and balanced; dialogues are passionately realistic; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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In this Madge story, Madge is a decisive person, other characters are realistic and contributory; plot moves not so fast but progressive and balanced; dialogues are passionately realistic; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Hello, my friend, Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is truly a touching and powerful story. I don't believe in ghosts (even benevolent ones), but Madge's periodic appearances sound more like little miracles. Ghosts don't make real hamburgers!
I suggest the following minor revisions, for your consideration:
The usual night sounds like crickets and owls have vanished.
=>
The usual night sounds, like crickets and owls, have vanished. [Otherwise it initially reads as though the night sounds like crickets and owls.]
"where are you going, Sweetie?"
=>
"Where are you going, Sweetie?"
***
This story illustrates the tremendous power of a kind deed, and the impact love can have, at key points in a person's life. It is worthy of a six, which I don't have right now. I'll try to look out for the rewrite of Madge's Cafe'.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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This is truly a touching and powerful story. I don't believe in ghosts (even benevolent ones), but Madge's periodic appearances sound more like little miracles. Ghosts don't make real hamburgers!
I suggest the following minor revisions, for your consideration:
The usual night sounds like crickets and owls have vanished.
=>
The usual night sounds, like crickets and owls, have vanished. [Otherwise it initially reads as though the night sounds like crickets and owls.]
"where are you going, Sweetie?"
=>
"Where are you going, Sweetie?"
***
This story illustrates the tremendous power of a kind deed, and the impact love can have, at key points in a person's life. It is worthy of a six, which I don't have right now. I'll try to look out for the rewrite of Madge's Cafe'.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Hi, Mary Kay. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story and thought of a six. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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You're so very welcome, Mike. You always write interesting stories! And I appreciate your warm and gracious manner.
God bless you too, my friend, and your beautiful, loving wife in the profile picture. - Mary Kay
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I loved reading it. Great concept. Great work.
"We have a room for you to sleep in, - You might consider a semicolon instead of a comma since there is a complete sentence on both sides.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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I loved reading it. Great concept. Great work.
"We have a room for you to sleep in, - You might consider a semicolon instead of a comma since there is a complete sentence on both sides.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Hi, Wayne. Thank you for your kind words, help with this story, and for the shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This was a great story, Mike. I enjoyed reading it. Your
words were well thought out, it had great organization,
and details, and the lines created great imagery. I could
see everything as I read. The progression of time was handled
well. The conversation between Madge and Lucy was awesome.
I liked how you let readers figure out who Madge was, how
did she get there, what was the blue house, etc. [I may have
missed something as I haven't read the first story.] I'm thrilled
Lucy found her place with a loving couple--unlike her mother
and step dad.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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This was a great story, Mike. I enjoyed reading it. Your
words were well thought out, it had great organization,
and details, and the lines created great imagery. I could
see everything as I read. The progression of time was handled
well. The conversation between Madge and Lucy was awesome.
I liked how you let readers figure out who Madge was, how
did she get there, what was the blue house, etc. [I may have
missed something as I haven't read the first story.] I'm thrilled
Lucy found her place with a loving couple--unlike her mother
and step dad.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Hi, Jan. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story. Your passion for this project is deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed this story about a young lady who discovers what it means to be at a crossroads in life. We all have to make decisions, and actually make hundreds of decisions each day. What to eat, what to wear, what to watch on TV, should I even watch TV, should I take a drink, go to church, visit family, talk on the phone, etc. But many decisions affect our lives forever.
Lucy made the right decision, and a guardian angel was there to help her. This is a great inspirational story with a powerful message. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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I enjoyed this story about a young lady who discovers what it means to be at a crossroads in life. We all have to make decisions, and actually make hundreds of decisions each day. What to eat, what to wear, what to watch on TV, should I even watch TV, should I take a drink, go to church, visit family, talk on the phone, etc. But many decisions affect our lives forever.
Lucy made the right decision, and a guardian angel was there to help her. This is a great inspirational story with a powerful message. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from estory
A great tale of angels and how they seem to show up when we need them most. I liked all the details in the telling of this story, the way Madge just shows up with that frying pan and burgers, and the hope she gives the girl who is running from the bad situation at home. It all seems to life like and we root for the girl to find a way out of the despair she finds herself in at the beginning of the story. Nice realistic dialogue puts us right in the middle of the scenes. estory
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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A great tale of angels and how they seem to show up when we need them most. I liked all the details in the telling of this story, the way Madge just shows up with that frying pan and burgers, and the hope she gives the girl who is running from the bad situation at home. It all seems to life like and we root for the girl to find a way out of the despair she finds herself in at the beginning of the story. Nice realistic dialogue puts us right in the middle of the scenes. estory
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words and support. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this story with us. It's a feel-good story and we all need them.
"Well, take a bite and let me know," Madge smiles. (period after 'know', smiles isn't a speech tag.)
"Maybe. I love the way you talk," Lucy grins. (period after 'talk', grins isn't a speech tag.)
"We're much more alike than you think," Madge chuckles. (period after 'think', chuckles isn't a speech tag.)
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2022
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Thank you for sharing this story with us. It's a feel-good story and we all need them.
"Well, take a bite and let me know," Madge smiles. (period after 'know', smiles isn't a speech tag.)
"Maybe. I love the way you talk," Lucy grins. (period after 'talk', grins isn't a speech tag.)
"We're much more alike than you think," Madge chuckles. (period after 'think', chuckles isn't a speech tag.)
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2022
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Hi, Barbara. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Faith Williams
I really enjoyed your story. Not only did it keep me engaged, but it brought a smile to my face. I look forward to reading your rewrite. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2022
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I really enjoyed your story. Not only did it keep me engaged, but it brought a smile to my face. I look forward to reading your rewrite. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2022
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Hi, Faith. Thank you for your kind words! I'll be by to read.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Thomas Blanks
I really like the story. It is well-written and grabs the reader from the beginning. Your stories always have goodness in them.
NOTE: I think this modifier could be better placed to avoid confusion... "according to the iPhone that James shattered against the wall when the fog begins to roll in from the open fields."
SUGGESTED => "According to the iPhone that James shattered against the wall, it's midnight when the fog begins to roll in from the open fields."
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2022
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I really like the story. It is well-written and grabs the reader from the beginning. Your stories always have goodness in them.
NOTE: I think this modifier could be better placed to avoid confusion... "according to the iPhone that James shattered against the wall when the fog begins to roll in from the open fields."
SUGGESTED => "According to the iPhone that James shattered against the wall, it's midnight when the fog begins to roll in from the open fields."
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2022
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Hi, Thomas. That line may have to go. I've rewritten it 15 times at least. Thank you for your kind words and shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
