Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 18 C"Can a broken heart be mended?
27 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Barbara,
This sweet chapter is really touching. A man and a woman having an honest conversation about the difference between sex and making love. I like the way you clearly defined these two things.
Exceptional work, Barb.
Waiting for the next chapter.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Barbara,
This sweet chapter is really touching. A man and a woman having an honest conversation about the difference between sex and making love. I like the way you clearly defined these two things.
Exceptional work, Barb.
Waiting for the next chapter.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 12-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the understanding.
Comment from pookietoo
great story, keep up the great work, keep sharing stories Have a wonderful day and keep posting. enjoy the little things. Keep smiling. Best wishes too.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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great story, keep up the great work, keep sharing stories Have a wonderful day and keep posting. enjoy the little things. Keep smiling. Best wishes too.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
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you are welcome.
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray for Cordero for putting Alan in his place and after Alexandra made it clear to him that she will have nothing more to do with him. I liked the tender conversation between Cordero and Alexandra. What a precious thing to make a purity pledge! I wish more young people would do that.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Hooray for Cordero for putting Alan in his place and after Alexandra made it clear to him that she will have nothing more to do with him. I liked the tender conversation between Cordero and Alexandra. What a precious thing to make a purity pledge! I wish more young people would do that.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I have heard rumors that the purity pledge is becoming popular again. I hope that's true.
Comment from Jay Squires
Another fine chapter. I'd be worried about her ex bombing the place.
"I wouldn't put anything passed him." [Adding mine to all the others ... It's PAST him ... I make those same mistakes all the time.]
Cordero is a knight!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Another fine chapter. I'd be worried about her ex bombing the place.
"I wouldn't put anything passed him." [Adding mine to all the others ... It's PAST him ... I make those same mistakes all the time.]
Cordero is a knight!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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I get those two words mixed up all the time. I have a couple of others I do the same too. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Ali's right, this guy Alan is perverted.
Nest to the last sentence: (passed) should be (past)
This is the first I read that Ali is a 28-year-old virgin. She is a rarity but her loyalty to her father is showing.
Another great installment.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Ali's right, this guy Alan is perverted.
Nest to the last sentence: (passed) should be (past)
This is the first I read that Ali is a 28-year-old virgin. She is a rarity but her loyalty to her father is showing.
Another great installment.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I think it was brought up before, but in an earlier post. I have made that correction. It's one of those words I always screw up and then over think it and still get it wrong. LOL
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My Achilles heel is (its) vs (it's) and capitalization of mom and dad. I never seem to get it right.
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I agree with it's and its. I also tend to omit the small words. I type slower than my brain moves, then when I read it, I read as if those small words are there. I'm just a mess. LOL
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I don't think I would go so far as saying "a mess". I mean, you are one of the only reviewers who ever points out my mom and dad thing. Just saying.
I get mad at myself every time you, or anyone does, but I appreciate it all the same. That's how we improve.
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I always feel bad when I point out typos and errors especially in well written work as yours. I feel like I'm being a 'gotcha' person. Then I remember, I appreciate things being pointed out so I can make my post better. I hope others feel the same, but I know some do not, because they've mentioned it. Then I wonder why they're on the site. I want to do better and if everybody ignores the things that are wrong, then I won't improve.
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Exactly. I can't view the reviewing function as no more than liking the article or not. There are articles on here that go totally against my grain.
Some are so explicit I would never let my kids even see them and some so politically or religiously opposite to my own opinions that I want to scream. But I can't let my opinion play a large part in my appraisal. I have to first review the mechanics, then I can let myself consider topic and presentation.
That's the only way I can justifiably do it or I would never be fair to half of the writers on FS. I would hope others would do the same with me, even though I don't like being told I screwed up, if I did, then let's just get it fixed.
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I have a reviewer who doesn't accept my version of romance. This person feels they should jump in bed immediately. I, of course, disagree. This person feels nobody in today's world waits to have sex. I many do not, but I do believe there are others out there who feel the same. I'm not sure why this person continues to read me, I guess to remind me I'm not realistic. LOL
Comment from Sankey
This was a great chapter except for all the "are's" omitted purposely or? Is it his broken English or?? I realize it is Alan talking not Cord, now. "Why(are) you here?"
another one?? Alan stared at her. "Why (are?)you dressed like that?"
"I wouldn't put anything pas(t)[sed] him."
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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This was a great chapter except for all the "are's" omitted purposely or? Is it his broken English or?? I realize it is Alan talking not Cord, now. "Why(are) you here?"
another one?? Alan stared at her. "Why (are?)you dressed like that?"
"I wouldn't put anything pas(t)[sed] him."
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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I have made the second correction. The first one is American dialogue. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Oh, the difference between loving parents and non loving parents is huge, giving dignity and value to one's kids should be normal, no matter how symbolic some things appear to be, the deeper the purpose, sex, as they said is an act to gain orgasm, but love is a spiritual and joint connection, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Oh, the difference between loving parents and non loving parents is huge, giving dignity and value to one's kids should be normal, no matter how symbolic some things appear to be, the deeper the purpose, sex, as they said is an act to gain orgasm, but love is a spiritual and joint connection, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the understanding.
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Most welcome Barbara
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well, we got THAT out in the open and out of the way. - (the sex talk)
Alan stared at her. "Why you dressed like that?" - In dialogue, anything goes, but would Alan, omit his vowel?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Well, we got THAT out in the open and out of the way. - (the sex talk)
Alan stared at her. "Why you dressed like that?" - In dialogue, anything goes, but would Alan, omit his vowel?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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I think he would because he's frustrated for two reasons, one Cord is there, and the other Ali isn't cooperating. Thank you for the kind review.
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Sorry. I meant verb
Comment from judiverse
Alan sounds unhinged, the lengths he's going to to get to Ali. I have an idea he's not yet, especially after insisting Ali is still his fiancee. Cord was there to throw him out, but it sounds like reporting him to the police and getting a restraining order may be necessary. He might even follow her back to Texas. Great job of having Ali explain her pact to Cord. He is the kind of man who would respect her wishes. I'm curious to see whether Alan dares to come back. judi
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Alan sounds unhinged, the lengths he's going to to get to Ali. I have an idea he's not yet, especially after insisting Ali is still his fiancee. Cord was there to throw him out, but it sounds like reporting him to the police and getting a restraining order may be necessary. He might even follow her back to Texas. Great job of having Ali explain her pact to Cord. He is the kind of man who would respect her wishes. I'm curious to see whether Alan dares to come back. judi
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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We will see Alan again. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're very welcome. Alan sounds totally unbalanced if he can't accept that Ali is no longer his fiancee. judi
Comment from lancellot
You can write. Your form, editing and structure are nearly perfect. Honestly though, your characters strain the concept of suspending disbelief.
notes:
After she was inside and the door shut, he opened the front door. {"Why you here?"}
-"Why are you here?" (only because his language has been precise before)
Alan stared at her. "Why you dressed like that?"
-"Why are you dressed like that?"
"I know I was raised
with old fashioned values, but that made no sense."
- I'm glad you pointed out, what a honest reader would think.
"The goal of sex is to have an orgasm. Making love is the emotional connection with another person, while engaging with them physically. With making love you're more concerned about your partner's pleasure, than your own."
-This is partially true, partially false. The goal of sex is not to have an orgasm. You can do that without sex and many women don't have one from it. I only say this, because Cord has been intelligent and honest till this point.
Alexandra shook her head. "Having sex and making love is the same act, right?"
- This also doesn't fit someone of her intelligence. Even a virgin at her age would know there many ways of having sex, even between same-sex couples.
"I'm probably the only twenty-eight-year-old in the world who hasn't had sex."
- What? Why would she say something like that?
_ if you are going to use the concept of keeping a purity vow with her father to explain why a beautiful 28 year old woman is a virgin, then you need to do more to establish the bond between daughter and father, to justify keeping that promise in the world we live in. And why the father would place such a burden on his daughter.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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You can write. Your form, editing and structure are nearly perfect. Honestly though, your characters strain the concept of suspending disbelief.
notes:
After she was inside and the door shut, he opened the front door. {"Why you here?"}
-"Why are you here?" (only because his language has been precise before)
Alan stared at her. "Why you dressed like that?"
-"Why are you dressed like that?"
"I know I was raised
with old fashioned values, but that made no sense."
- I'm glad you pointed out, what a honest reader would think.
"The goal of sex is to have an orgasm. Making love is the emotional connection with another person, while engaging with them physically. With making love you're more concerned about your partner's pleasure, than your own."
-This is partially true, partially false. The goal of sex is not to have an orgasm. You can do that without sex and many women don't have one from it. I only say this, because Cord has been intelligent and honest till this point.
Alexandra shook her head. "Having sex and making love is the same act, right?"
- This also doesn't fit someone of her intelligence. Even a virgin at her age would know there many ways of having sex, even between same-sex couples.
"I'm probably the only twenty-eight-year-old in the world who hasn't had sex."
- What? Why would she say something like that?
_ if you are going to use the concept of keeping a purity vow with her father to explain why a beautiful 28 year old woman is a virgin, then you need to do more to establish the bond between daughter and father, to justify keeping that promise in the world we live in. And why the father would place such a burden on his daughter.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Many Christian fathers and their daughters do make a purity promise. I'm surprised you haven't heard of them. I have known and do know plenty. Thank you for the kind review.
