Daydreams from the Ashes
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Silhouette"Poems and meditations
11 total reviews
Comment from Marietta Geckos
All I have to say is wow. Absolutely beautifully crafted. Images are sweet soft and powerful. The words are artfully woven into the fabric of these lines. With each re-read, the poem takes on more life.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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All I have to say is wow. Absolutely beautifully crafted. Images are sweet soft and powerful. The words are artfully woven into the fabric of these lines. With each re-read, the poem takes on more life.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it and I?m glad it came across so well!
Comment from Carlos' girl
That ending is my favorite part. Just perfect. Lovely free verse with a heartwrenching beauty. Beautiful details like the ticking watch lead up to that powerful ending. Thanks for sharing your talent K
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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That ending is my favorite part. Just perfect. Lovely free verse with a heartwrenching beauty. Beautiful details like the ticking watch lead up to that powerful ending. Thanks for sharing your talent K
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your time and I?m glad it came across well!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Beautiful and graceful, K. I want to congratulate you on your second-place entry. It was a pleasure to read. You have a wonderful talent and your ease of expression and obvious love for the craft shine through in all your work. Best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Beautiful and graceful, K. I want to congratulate you on your second-place entry. It was a pleasure to read. You have a wonderful talent and your ease of expression and obvious love for the craft shine through in all your work. Best, JohnC.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your time and I?m glad it came across well!
Comment from karenina
This is tender and powerful, poignant and piercing...
Everything free verse should be...and more.
Congratulations on second place...
By any appraisal, this is a winner!
Karenina
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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This is tender and powerful, poignant and piercing...
Everything free verse should be...and more.
Congratulations on second place...
By any appraisal, this is a winner!
Karenina
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your time and I?m glad it came across well!
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I truly enjoyed it!
Comment from Erika Seshadri
So very pretty! A wonderful entry into the Free Verse Poem contest.
My favorite lines:
The world is no longer what it was,
our dreams cast out as the stardust of past lives;
Beautiful!!!
Take care,
Erika
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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So very pretty! A wonderful entry into the Free Verse Poem contest.
My favorite lines:
The world is no longer what it was,
our dreams cast out as the stardust of past lives;
Beautiful!!!
Take care,
Erika
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading it and leaving a review. I really appreciate it and I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Marienkiefer
A very intricate poem, with keen hypersensitivity and observations.
Sparkling in your poem: perception, depth, self expression and insight.
-observations you make of the movement of clouds (grey) dome of eternal sky.
-A lot of the imagery and metaphors work. I am curious as to your intention or effect you are seeking with line: echoes of feathers. Do you mean reverberations or like repeating lines, to create a rhythm as in a painting or perhaps as remnants that you are attempting to unify, as in a piece of artwork. I would be curious to know how you view this.
-Very interesting symbols in poem: feather, tie, watch.
My favourite stanza: that begins: So let me tell you how I see you....
Lovely poem.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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A very intricate poem, with keen hypersensitivity and observations.
Sparkling in your poem: perception, depth, self expression and insight.
-observations you make of the movement of clouds (grey) dome of eternal sky.
-A lot of the imagery and metaphors work. I am curious as to your intention or effect you are seeking with line: echoes of feathers. Do you mean reverberations or like repeating lines, to create a rhythm as in a painting or perhaps as remnants that you are attempting to unify, as in a piece of artwork. I would be curious to know how you view this.
-Very interesting symbols in poem: feather, tie, watch.
My favourite stanza: that begins: So let me tell you how I see you....
Lovely poem.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. We both have the same favorite stanza, apparently. I?m glad that one hit. As for the feathers, it just feels like the emotions are that fragile and almost ethereal. Definitely pieces of the artwork. Thank you again. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is both beautiful and achingly sad. You've used the advantage of free verse to control the pace here, and give it that wistful, thoughtful melancholy that a bouncy meter poem can't work with. I love the subtle truth of the love alluded to, now dissipated like a dream from last night.
I loved this.
Mike
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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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This is both beautiful and achingly sad. You've used the advantage of free verse to control the pace here, and give it that wistful, thoughtful melancholy that a bouncy meter poem can't work with. I love the subtle truth of the love alluded to, now dissipated like a dream from last night.
I loved this.
Mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad it came across so well, with all the melancholy intended. The end of that relationship has been a lot to process. I really appreciate your time and I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Tressa Eli1
This is such a beautiful and well-written poem. The way the poem is worded paints a picture for us to imagine what these feelings and emotions feel like.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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This is such a beautiful and well-written poem. The way the poem is worded paints a picture for us to imagine what these feelings and emotions feel like.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the time you gave it and I'm glad it came across well. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from LovnPeace
How beautifully this is written. It very much expresses a long-distance, internet love affair I had, so many years ago. I could never write so eloquently, but, oh, yes, I felt it's loss Deeply. TY. Blessings, Barbara. xo
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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How beautifully this is written. It very much expresses a long-distance, internet love affair I had, so many years ago. I could never write so eloquently, but, oh, yes, I felt it's loss Deeply. TY. Blessings, Barbara. xo
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. The end of relationships are always really difficult. This was a long one, so it's been difficult to process. I hope you've found peace with your own loss of one, and I very much appreciate your time. I hope you have a wonderful day.
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And you also. xo. B
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a fine free verse poem. I particularly liked the comparison of sorrow to grey clouds. Both weep tears, often copiously, and grey is such a sad dismal hue. Kate xx
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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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This is a fine free verse poem. I particularly liked the comparison of sorrow to grey clouds. Both weep tears, often copiously, and grey is such a sad dismal hue. Kate xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. To be honest, after years of dealing with depression, grey has this special significance to me. It's odd, I know. I really appreciate you giving this your time. I hope you have a wonderful day.
