Self-Taken
A take on survivor's guilt39 total reviews
Comment from Aussie
Interesting story/poem. The raven is supposed to belong to the devil. Just like our large, black, shiny-winged crow. He doesn't sing, he steals food and kills other bird's young. A hated crow. But, he is one of God's creatures. So, good and bad balance the world. Without black white would not balance like Yin-Yang. I agree the World already composed, it's just that man cannot read music. K xx
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2022
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Interesting story/poem. The raven is supposed to belong to the devil. Just like our large, black, shiny-winged crow. He doesn't sing, he steals food and kills other bird's young. A hated crow. But, he is one of God's creatures. So, good and bad balance the world. Without black white would not balance like Yin-Yang. I agree the World already composed, it's just that man cannot read music. K xx
Comment Written 15-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). I'm really glad you saw into the implications as well as the words.
Mike
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Fleedleflump,
NICE piece of poetry having IMPRESSIVE phraseology, ENCHANTING flow throughout from the beginning to the end with FANTASTIC rhyming scheme, and BEAUTIFULLY depicting your feelings!
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the poem.
REMARKABLE Presentation!!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2022
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Hello Fleedleflump,
NICE piece of poetry having IMPRESSIVE phraseology, ENCHANTING flow throughout from the beginning to the end with FANTASTIC rhyming scheme, and BEAUTIFULLY depicting your feelings!
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the poem.
REMARKABLE Presentation!!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much :-). Once I knew the theme for this one, I settled into quite a dark place to write it, but one still laced with hope and beauty.
Mike
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Mike, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
Very nice! And it made me look up a word - that in itself deserves a 6 star rating. Who knew 'threnody' was a real word? I enjoyed the emotion, the depth and multi-level nuances of feeling. Also, your last two stanzas, or last three, if you count the single line as a stanza, could very much be referring to Poe's 'The Raven'. Great job, Mike!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Very nice! And it made me look up a word - that in itself deserves a 6 star rating. Who knew 'threnody' was a real word? I enjoyed the emotion, the depth and multi-level nuances of feeling. Also, your last two stanzas, or last three, if you count the single line as a stanza, could very much be referring to Poe's 'The Raven'. Great job, Mike!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much :-). I love it when a cool word comes to mind that also happens to fit perfect both musically and in meaning. Not everyone enjoys the unusual words, but tha kfully they're in the minority!
Mike
Comment from Alyssa Wilson
As always, I enjoyed this piece.
This piece has a heavy tone of grief, but also mingles a bit to make me feel like although the goodbye is painful, it is okay as the departed is free of the pain of the world.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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As always, I enjoyed this piece.
This piece has a heavy tone of grief, but also mingles a bit to make me feel like although the goodbye is painful, it is okay as the departed is free of the pain of the world.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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I'd say you're feeling it exactly the way I did :-). Thanks so much, Alyssa!
Mike
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I love to read poetry that requires me to look up new words:)
The metre used was effective at creating a ribbonlike cadence.
Your phraseology is excellent.
The sensory details do a nice job of
word painting in a creative way, making for an enjoyable literary dance.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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I love to read poetry that requires me to look up new words:)
The metre used was effective at creating a ribbonlike cadence.
Your phraseology is excellent.
The sensory details do a nice job of
word painting in a creative way, making for an enjoyable literary dance.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). I'm glad you like new words (me too), although not everyone agrees, lol. I'm thrilled you enjoyed this one.
Mike
Comment from tfawcus
Most evocative, Mike. A good choice of rhyme scheme for this one. I like the way you have put forward the situation in the first line, used the second two lines to define the problem and the last line to show the result.
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Most evocative, Mike. A good choice of rhyme scheme for this one. I like the way you have put forward the situation in the first line, used the second two lines to define the problem and the last line to show the result.
Nicely done.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Tony - really glad you liked it :-)
Mike
Comment from Gloria ....
Superb poetry here. I must admit to listening to the song, and having not heard of NightWish before, I am listening to an hour loop of their song Amaranth while I write this review.
Now on to what I am intended to consider, Your fine use metre, rhymes and allusion with key words such as my seed, my loss showed me the motion of your poem.
What else to say, but exceptional.
Gloria
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Superb poetry here. I must admit to listening to the song, and having not heard of NightWish before, I am listening to an hour loop of their song Amaranth while I write this review.
Now on to what I am intended to consider, Your fine use metre, rhymes and allusion with key words such as my seed, my loss showed me the motion of your poem.
What else to say, but exceptional.
Gloria
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Gloria :-). Yeah, I love a bit of Nightwish - it's like folk symphonic metal or something like that! I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem!
Mike
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Hands down, my favorite Feedleflump poem of all time. Just the right bit of magical darkness, vivid imagery, and longing heart. Absolutely beautiful. One million stars for you!!!!!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Hands down, my favorite Feedleflump poem of all time. Just the right bit of magical darkness, vivid imagery, and longing heart. Absolutely beautiful. One million stars for you!!!!!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much, Erica :-). What an amazing review to received! I'll sleep happy tibight now. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.
Mike
Comment from Ulla
Hi Mike, I was quite taken with this poem. I've just learned about a great loss in my family and your poem somehow resonated with me. I'm still processing what has happened. Thanks for sharing. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Hi Mike, I was quite taken with this poem. I've just learned about a great loss in my family and your poem somehow resonated with me. I'm still processing what has happened. Thanks for sharing. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Ulla. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, and this poem is indeed very much on those lines.
Mike
Comment from Raul1
This is an interesting poem. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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This is an interesting poem. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Raul - much appreciated :-)
Mike
