Dribbles And Drabbles
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Tram"A Collection Of Mini Stories
17 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
You set the scene well here, and introduced the reader to Paul's inner thoughts. I became anxious, silently urging him on, but his own silence made him lose the moment. Let's hope she turned to him to hear his comment and it wasn't her tram stop yet.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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You set the scene well here, and introduced the reader to Paul's inner thoughts. I became anxious, silently urging him on, but his own silence made him lose the moment. Let's hope she turned to him to hear his comment and it wasn't her tram stop yet.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this piece. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
It is hard to open up a conversation with a stranger. Paul climbed inside his head to all the reasons he should not engage her in conversation.
At the last minute and thanks to Steinbeck, he got the nerve.
Clever and actually not too far off from reality.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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It is hard to open up a conversation with a stranger. Paul climbed inside his head to all the reasons he should not engage her in conversation.
At the last minute and thanks to Steinbeck, he got the nerve.
Clever and actually not too far off from reality.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
It's so hard to open a conversation with a stranger, but sometimes a smile can open the gates of the conversation, of course if is happening before the tram goes"ding" on you. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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It's so hard to open a conversation with a stranger, but sometimes a smile can open the gates of the conversation, of course if is happening before the tram goes"ding" on you. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from BethShelby
I can see this happening. Sometimes intense feeling intimidate one to the point they just can't do what they want to do so badly. Maybe some would never have this problem but many of us do. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I can see this happening. Sometimes intense feeling intimidate one to the point they just can't do what they want to do so badly. Maybe some would never have this problem but many of us do. Nicely written.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Very much appreciated review.
Comment from royowen
Ahh, how many moments have we let pass by in our lives that denied us access to a possible divine future, but I don't know. But I do know my youth was full of such moments, well done, Brett, great job, well done, good luck, blessings Roy your
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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Ahh, how many moments have we let pass by in our lives that denied us access to a possible divine future, but I don't know. But I do know my youth was full of such moments, well done, Brett, great job, well done, good luck, blessings Roy your
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Mighty kind of you much appreciate the review.
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Most welcome
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is an excellent piece for this flash fiction contest,Brett. You had me holding my breath, waiting for him to speak. I might have been the woman, hoping he would. And then the moment passed. Great writing.
One little typo: "Was the coward just going to sit there in stunned silene(silence)?
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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This is an excellent piece for this flash fiction contest,Brett. You had me holding my breath, waiting for him to speak. I might have been the woman, hoping he would. And then the moment passed. Great writing.
One little typo: "Was the coward just going to sit there in stunned silene(silence)?
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Much appreciate the review.
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You?re most welcome, Brett.
Comment from tfawcus
You had me willing the poor chap to speak! This business of becoming tongue-tied at the critical moment is a failing that many will be able to identify with! You use internal dialogue and surreptitious action effectively in combination to show how Paul feels. Nicely done.
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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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You had me willing the poor chap to speak! This business of becoming tongue-tied at the critical moment is a failing that many will be able to identify with! You use internal dialogue and surreptitious action effectively in combination to show how Paul feels. Nicely done.
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Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you kindly. Much appreciate the review. How many times does this malady affect men in these critical situations? More than most would care to admit to, no doubt.
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It was only by running alongside a train and saying what I had meant to say during our first meeting that I established a connection that has now lasted forty-five years.
