The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "The Chronicles of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
13 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
I'm sorry not to have been following this story more consistently. This is a marvellous chapter. Your description of the magic is intriguing but not overdone. The trees remind me of Tolkein's Ents without being derivative. The idea of trees having these kinds of abilities fascinates me. You end the chapter with the prospect of a thrilling quest. What better hook could there possibly be? Six-worthy, but I don't have the magic to conjure one up.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I'm sorry not to have been following this story more consistently. This is a marvellous chapter. Your description of the magic is intriguing but not overdone. The trees remind me of Tolkein's Ents without being derivative. The idea of trees having these kinds of abilities fascinates me. You end the chapter with the prospect of a thrilling quest. What better hook could there possibly be? Six-worthy, but I don't have the magic to conjure one up.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for your review. I missed you.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
The story so far is rich in detail. The characters have already taken on some fullness. The narrative flows well. The images are clear. The language points toward an epic tale.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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The story so far is rich in detail. The characters have already taken on some fullness. The narrative flows well. The images are clear. The language points toward an epic tale.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you for this review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Ulla
Hi amahra, it such a fascinating story and I so wish I had a six for you. Not only is all the dialogue so natural but what I like most is all the images you conjure up. They are outstanding. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Hi amahra, it such a fascinating story and I so wish I had a six for you. Not only is all the dialogue so natural but what I like most is all the images you conjure up. They are outstanding. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Ulla. Always a pleasure reading your reviews.
Comment from jp88
Hello! Thank you for letting me read this - I really enjoyed it. Loved the opening. There's something sinister and dark, and curious about animal-shaped trees.
Loved the rest as well, it is an easy read that flows well. The description of the forest is indeed magical, and you've created a wonderfully immersive world. This is the first chapter of your work I'm reading (and I was a bit confused because it says chapter 18 on the top, but end of chapter 1 at the end) and I enjoyed it - even if it started in the middle of a novel. It did read as a self-contained unit, with a clear point. Really nice. Does definitely intrigue me enough to want to read additional work (either prior or after that :) ) to find out more about the characters, and how their new quest goes.
Found one tiny typo:
"Though Dinary was all smiles, Priest Hayman bore a suspicious gaze. - rogue quotation mark snuck in.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Hello! Thank you for letting me read this - I really enjoyed it. Loved the opening. There's something sinister and dark, and curious about animal-shaped trees.
Loved the rest as well, it is an easy read that flows well. The description of the forest is indeed magical, and you've created a wonderfully immersive world. This is the first chapter of your work I'm reading (and I was a bit confused because it says chapter 18 on the top, but end of chapter 1 at the end) and I enjoyed it - even if it started in the middle of a novel. It did read as a self-contained unit, with a clear point. Really nice. Does definitely intrigue me enough to want to read additional work (either prior or after that :) ) to find out more about the characters, and how their new quest goes.
Found one tiny typo:
"Though Dinary was all smiles, Priest Hayman bore a suspicious gaze. - rogue quotation mark snuck in.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for stopping by and reading. I'm so glad you liked and understood, though starting the story in advance chapters. I will correct that typo. Oh, at the end of the chapter, it actually says, end of chapter, part 1. When chapters are long, FS members won't read them. So we cut chapters into parts 1, 2, and or 3.
Comment from royowen
I love the mysteries of invisible places, that only reveal themselves when they know you have friendly intentions or not, and the costs of alliances, and more importantly the trustworthiness of the ventures, as far as these alliances are concerned, Dinary can be a little impulsive, beautifully written Amahra, my kind of story, well done, blessing's Roy
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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I love the mysteries of invisible places, that only reveal themselves when they know you have friendly intentions or not, and the costs of alliances, and more importantly the trustworthiness of the ventures, as far as these alliances are concerned, Dinary can be a little impulsive, beautifully written Amahra, my kind of story, well done, blessing's Roy
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Roy. I'm glad you like the invisible city scene. Always a pleasure reading your review.
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Well done Amahra
Comment from Judy Lawless
These soldiers must get awfully tired of fighting, amarah. lol You've written another interesting and descriptive chapter to this book. I hope Dinary isn't over-confident about their abilities. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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These soldiers must get awfully tired of fighting, amarah. lol You've written another interesting and descriptive chapter to this book. I hope Dinary isn't over-confident about their abilities. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Judy. As he said, he brought his best. We'll see. :))
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You're most welcome, amahra.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Dinary has always been one of my favorite characters since the almost beginning. I am so glad you posted another post to this story. I was missing it and worried about it. Thank you for sharing this with us. I really enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Dinary has always been one of my favorite characters since the almost beginning. I am so glad you posted another post to this story. I was missing it and worried about it. Thank you for sharing this with us. I really enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Barbara. I'm glad you liked the characters.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is a great chapter, amahra. You write well and your creativity astounds me with your character names and places. There was a new name or place in every paragraph. :) I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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This is a great chapter, amahra. You write well and your creativity astounds me with your character names and places. There was a new name or place in every paragraph. :) I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for this fine review, John. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Jay Squires
King pyruss' son certainly put conditions on his warriors helping Dinary and his father's army. From his warning, and from what I remembered of Dinary's youthful over-confidence, I'm wondering if Dinary's "select" warriors will be enough to bring back the "Eye of the Dragon"?
This is an enticing chapter, Amahra. I hope you are fast with it's next exciting chapter!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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King pyruss' son certainly put conditions on his warriors helping Dinary and his father's army. From his warning, and from what I remembered of Dinary's youthful over-confidence, I'm wondering if Dinary's "select" warriors will be enough to bring back the "Eye of the Dragon"?
This is an enticing chapter, Amahra. I hope you are fast with it's next exciting chapter!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Jay. Well, Dinary did defeat that wooden demon on the ship crossing the Endless Ocean and help slew the fire-breathing Drake. I think he'll be up to the task.
I appreciate the stars. Blessings.
Comment from Ric Myworld
A light flash or a shadow that zips past an opening will probably always have me thinking sorcerer, hiding just out of view. A believable world! Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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A light flash or a shadow that zips past an opening will probably always have me thinking sorcerer, hiding just out of view. A believable world! Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Ric. I'm glad you stop by. Your review is always appreciated.