Ogawaga - Chapter 4
Cody's Airplane Crash8 total reviews
Comment from Annette R.
ai like the premise of this chapter: talking a passenger into landing a plane. The passenger - George - must have had more knowledge than I have as I didn't understand what he was being told to do. Example: slow to 80 knots. How did George know how to do that? What are rpms? Flaps? Rudder pedals? You get the idea. I think less technical and simplified language would help. Just my thoughts. Your choice. Loved the name Bear for the big guy.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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ai like the premise of this chapter: talking a passenger into landing a plane. The passenger - George - must have had more knowledge than I have as I didn't understand what he was being told to do. Example: slow to 80 knots. How did George know how to do that? What are rpms? Flaps? Rudder pedals? You get the idea. I think less technical and simplified language would help. Just my thoughts. Your choice. Loved the name Bear for the big guy.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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Whatever.
Comment from JoannaN
The plot of your story is well-designed and dynamically-crafted. The main protagonist of your story is convincing and likeable. He full deserved his award :)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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The plot of your story is well-designed and dynamically-crafted. The main protagonist of your story is convincing and likeable. He full deserved his award :)
Comment Written 30-May-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks for the review.
Comment from Wendy G
Wow, that was a tense ride! I do wonder if anybody inexperienced with planes would understand the instructions enough to get down safely. (I wouldn't have been able to!) Also, would kids really be allowed into a control tower? Exciting story however, and very well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Wow, that was a tense ride! I do wonder if anybody inexperienced with planes would understand the instructions enough to get down safely. (I wouldn't have been able to!) Also, would kids really be allowed into a control tower? Exciting story however, and very well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-May-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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A]reciate the comments and review.
Comment from C.A.Currie
Great write! I was holding my breath throughout most of it. I don't fly either, so I am pretty confident in saying I probably would not have been able to execute the plane's landing successfully with just the directions you gave. I would have no idea what to do with "Power" or "another ten degrees of flaps," but then again, I tend to overthink things, and when reading, I AM the character in the story.
You sure know how to paint a picture with words! It was vividly captivating all the way through. I am tempted to go back and read from the beginning of the story.
Hugs & Lolipops from my heart to yours. ~ Christine ~
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Great write! I was holding my breath throughout most of it. I don't fly either, so I am pretty confident in saying I probably would not have been able to execute the plane's landing successfully with just the directions you gave. I would have no idea what to do with "Power" or "another ten degrees of flaps," but then again, I tend to overthink things, and when reading, I AM the character in the story.
You sure know how to paint a picture with words! It was vividly captivating all the way through. I am tempted to go back and read from the beginning of the story.
Hugs & Lolipops from my heart to yours. ~ Christine ~
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from Erika Seshadri
I like the idea behind this story, highlighting the friendship between a law enforcement professional and a kid. It's an interesting concept for a story. I like that the reader sort of walks in on a tense action scene.
Though, certain parts of the dialogue seemed a little unrealistic. For example, the language Bear uses to help George land the plane. George makes it clear he has no idea what he's doing, so how is he going to know what terms like "carburetor heat," "white arc," and "ten degrees of flaps" mean?
Also, stories are better when each character's dialogue remains true to their personality. For example, I have known businessmen who wear Armani suits. They are not likely to say "dude."
With more attention to detail, this story could go from good to great.
I hope this feedback helps. :)
Cheers,
Erika
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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I like the idea behind this story, highlighting the friendship between a law enforcement professional and a kid. It's an interesting concept for a story. I like that the reader sort of walks in on a tense action scene.
Though, certain parts of the dialogue seemed a little unrealistic. For example, the language Bear uses to help George land the plane. George makes it clear he has no idea what he's doing, so how is he going to know what terms like "carburetor heat," "white arc," and "ten degrees of flaps" mean?
Also, stories are better when each character's dialogue remains true to their personality. For example, I have known businessmen who wear Armani suits. They are not likely to say "dude."
With more attention to detail, this story could go from good to great.
I hope this feedback helps. :)
Cheers,
Erika
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Whatever.
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Listen, One of my books just got picked up for publication, and it's certainly not because I responded to advice from my editors with "whatever." That attitude will take you nowhere.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a fitness bio data of Cody that predisposes an emergency airplane landing session that brings air controller, Bear and emergency pilot, George to the fore.
The work highlights Cody's extraordinary height; his growing cordiality with Bear; and how he became privy of Bear's expert directives to George that tactfully averted a plane crash.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with the making good of an already bad situation.
Exceptional work. Keep the flag flying.
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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The objective correlative of your work reminisces a fitness bio data of Cody that predisposes an emergency airplane landing session that brings air controller, Bear and emergency pilot, George to the fore.
The work highlights Cody's extraordinary height; his growing cordiality with Bear; and how he became privy of Bear's expert directives to George that tactfully averted a plane crash.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with the making good of an already bad situation.
Exceptional work. Keep the flag flying.
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Appreciate the review.
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Remain Blessed.
Comment from Mark Childs
Engaging, well written story. Grammatically flawless and smooth flow, this was an enjoyable read. You truly brought the calm, big man to the forefront as the hero.
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Engaging, well written story. Grammatically flawless and smooth flow, this was an enjoyable read. You truly brought the calm, big man to the forefront as the hero.
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the review.
Comment from royowen
Good old Bear, he quite obviously has as the ability to keep people calm in the air, George had some problems and he needed to be guided to the ground snd Bear did it successfully, beautifully written Brett, blessings Roy
Typo : Might explode (in) his chest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Good old Bear, he quite obviously has as the ability to keep people calm in the air, George had some problems and he needed to be guided to the ground snd Bear did it successfully, beautifully written Brett, blessings Roy
Typo : Might explode (in) his chest.
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the review.
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Most welcome
