Interpretations For Consideration
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Tethered"An Ekphrastic Poetry Collection for NaPoWriMo 2022
8 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Debra,
I really enjoyed your Lunatika. Thanks for teaching it.
I especially enjoyed the personification of those "empty boats" fantasizing about trips to distant shores. But they're "tied to the shallows", for their own protection, of course. And then that final line is an exclamation mark on the thought...
"clouds ripple-scud by"
The clouds are sweeping past the boat. Their life is free to go wherever the wind takes them. I think it's the contrast of movement that caught me at the end. And I thought of so many tied dogs that long for freedom. Such a shame, and their owners should be shot!
I also need to give you credit for an invented word, "ripple-scud".
A nice addition for the NaPoWriMo contest! Well done!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Hi Debra,
I really enjoyed your Lunatika. Thanks for teaching it.
I especially enjoyed the personification of those "empty boats" fantasizing about trips to distant shores. But they're "tied to the shallows", for their own protection, of course. And then that final line is an exclamation mark on the thought...
"clouds ripple-scud by"
The clouds are sweeping past the boat. Their life is free to go wherever the wind takes them. I think it's the contrast of movement that caught me at the end. And I thought of so many tied dogs that long for freedom. Such a shame, and their owners should be shot!
I also need to give you credit for an invented word, "ripple-scud".
A nice addition for the NaPoWriMo contest! Well done!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 21-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Hello Kimbob :)
Thank you so much for your lovely feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my lunatika - it's a new form to me, will probably write a few more!
I hate to see dogs tied up too - it's just wrong...
Hope you're well :)
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Sally Law
Hark, another sailor on the FanStory ship. I detect Ye a seasoned captain or first mate. I be swabbing the deck now.
Sending ye my best as the crow flies,
Sailor Sal
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Hark, another sailor on the FanStory ship. I detect Ye a seasoned captain or first mate. I be swabbing the deck now.
Sending ye my best as the crow flies,
Sailor Sal
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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LOL! Love you, Sal, you always make me smile :)
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from R.B.Bunn
This was a nice wistful poem. Really capturing the feeling of an abandoned dock filled with boats. Really captures that feeling of missing out on an adventure. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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This was a nice wistful poem. Really capturing the feeling of an abandoned dock filled with boats. Really captures that feeling of missing out on an adventure. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your feedback :)
Best wishes, Debra
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I like that the boats have become the characters in this story, as they fantasize about traveling afar under clouds that ripple-scud. Now I'm eager to make up my own words to insert into my writing!
When my son was a teenager, he used to say that if you could use a made-up word in a sentence and people understood what you were saying, then it's a word:-)
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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I like that the boats have become the characters in this story, as they fantasize about traveling afar under clouds that ripple-scud. Now I'm eager to make up my own words to insert into my writing!
When my son was a teenager, he used to say that if you could use a made-up word in a sentence and people understood what you were saying, then it's a word:-)
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Hello Pam :)
I like your son's way of thinking!
Thank you so much for your lovely feedback.
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Pam (respa)
- Nice artwork and presentation, Debra.
-You did a good job with the form and topic.
-I can see each element it is made up of very well.
-Effective nature imagery in the opening lines
with "tied to the shallows."
-A good pivot line/satori line that personifies the boats.
-Good concluding line and made up word, too!!!
-I enjoyed this poem. You are doing a good job with the project!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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- Nice artwork and presentation, Debra.
-You did a good job with the form and topic.
-I can see each element it is made up of very well.
-Effective nature imagery in the opening lines
with "tied to the shallows."
-A good pivot line/satori line that personifies the boats.
-Good concluding line and made up word, too!!!
-I enjoyed this poem. You are doing a good job with the project!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Hello Pam :)
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging feedback. I'm happy that you enjoyed the read! Best wishes as always, Debra
Comment from jessizero
You have made a great word: "ripple-scud." Your words, especially that one, really brought this poem to life. Thank you so much for sharing this here. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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You have made a great word: "ripple-scud." Your words, especially that one, really brought this poem to life. Thank you so much for sharing this here. Best wishes.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Jessi :) Best wishes, Debra
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for explaining the "ripple-scud." Loved your personifying the boats that "fantasize" about travel even as clouds pass them by. Perhaps the reflection of the clouds on the water will give the boats a sense of travel. Lovely lunatika poem!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Thanks for explaining the "ripple-scud." Loved your personifying the boats that "fantasize" about travel even as clouds pass them by. Perhaps the reflection of the clouds on the water will give the boats a sense of travel. Lovely lunatika poem!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Helen :) I always appreciate your thoughtful feedback... Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from karenina
I find your poetic voice most sophisticated,
Debra. Your words are precise and original and intriguing. Anthropomorphizing the boats is a powerful poet device. You are a sophisticated writer and I'm so pleased to be a fan!
Karenina
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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I find your poetic voice most sophisticated,
Debra. Your words are precise and original and intriguing. Anthropomorphizing the boats is a powerful poet device. You are a sophisticated writer and I'm so pleased to be a fan!
Karenina
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Hello karenina :) Thank you so much for your kind feedback. I had to look up the word 'anthropomorphizing' LOL
I really appreciate your encouragement and am so happy to have 'met' you! Enjoy the rest of your day :) Best wishes, Debra x
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Ah! Secret? There used to be an amazing poet and scholar on-site here by the name of Alvin T. Ethington. (Long deceased now.)-- He reviewed a haiku of mine and said quite the same thing to me. I had to look it up as well! And so we grow...
Happy to be connected here with you as well!
