Reviews from

Show, Don't Tell - part III

Atmosphere & Setting

19 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Loved the paragraph from 'dreadnought' and a good comparison follow up. Very good hints you've shared with us to help improve our writing. Thank you,
valda

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    Many thanks.
Comment from jusylee72
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Wow, I have missed you. I have been gone for a long time, long illness but much better now. I loved your reviews of my work because you went into detail. I try to do that with my reviews also, Yet, your knowledge of the written words fascinates me. Your advice, Avoid Obvious Words ,is going to be my new challenge to myself. I hope you read my future writings and treat me as you did when I first came here, corrections with a touch of kindness.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    I'll keep an eye out. i had some time off myself and am just getting back into the swing of things. lol Much appreciated. G
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A much-needed lesson so I need to bookcase it. Good examples about including sensory details into the characters' reactions. The analysis of a specific passage from 'If, Then' is a big help. The exercise helps too.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    Many thanks for the great response. it's nice when folk get omething out of these posts. G
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
Excellent
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I have really enjoyed all these segments. Your examples from other writing are very good and your prompt for the exercise at the end is extremely helpful. I also like your final line, which (though it seems a bit awkward at first) tells it all. Thanks again.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    Many thanks.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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Thanks again for another excellent lesson in show-not-tell. I remember some of it from writing classes I've taken over the years, but I needed this refresher. I think I can put it to good use in my memoir writing.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    Happy to here you're getting something from these. Many thanks as always. G
reply by Judy Lawless on 22-Apr-2022
    You're most welcome, G. :)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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I think I must be the strange one in all of this. I enjoyed the first example you shared. I could see the relevance, but in the second example I thought it was over the top. I'm not explaining well, am I? Just a thought.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    I actually agree. I'm more of a pick one robust descriptor type of person. lol G
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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This was amazing, G. It brought to mind the sometime errors that I have constructed. Now of course, I will be book casing this. It will be great having this on hand. Very well done, greatly enjoyed.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    Many thanks as always. G
reply by aryr on 22-Apr-2022
    Most welcome, G.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another lucid addition to the series, G., full of useful tips and supported by well-chosen examples. This business of balancing showing and telling is a fascinating one.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    There's so many elements to it which is why I've broken it down. Many thanks for the great response and rating Tony. G
Comment from L. Kalere
Excellent
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Thanks for taking the time to explain, show, and tell how to be a better writer. It's so much more fun and than reading about it in a text. Thanks for giving of yourself.
Linda

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    many thanks. I think these work best split into mall chunks. there's so many component to it. G
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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It's truly amazing what atmosphere can be created by using the exact same words in a different order, it creates like dismantling the sections of an onion affect, of course poetry needs to to be a. episode or story in many less words, so one gets used to it. There are some good poets on-site that have become better prose and story writers because of it, good writers should be both, I don't type fast enough and I'm too impatient, good points here, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
    I started as a poet and recently earned a seal of approval here for a collection just a couple of weeks ago which was nice. I many concentrate on prose these days. All the best. G
reply by royowen on 22-Apr-2022
    Well done