Aging's a Beach! (es)
Senior moments that sometimes freaks us!35 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Aging's a Beach, is a fun exercise in rhyming which allows for some cute choices for end words. Yes, I heard your pleases.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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This poem, Aging's a Beach, is a fun exercise in rhyming which allows for some cute choices for end words. Yes, I heard your pleases.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thanks Bill, now just so it doesn't give you nightmares tonight! Haha.,
A sweet woman told me that if she didn't get all those rhymes out oh her head, she'd probably have nightmares! Thank you for your very kind review, as it's so appreciated!
Comment from sandra roth
The rhyming was good, it did rhyme, but for me it was a bit much, with too many words that were very much alike. The idea was adorable and certainly brought out the funny side of aging. The poem had a lot of potential.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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The rhyming was good, it did rhyme, but for me it was a bit much, with too many words that were very much alike. The idea was adorable and certainly brought out the funny side of aging. The poem had a lot of potential.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Sandra, I appreciate your honesty so very much, as so often that's how we learn to better ourselves. Even though I've been writing poetry most of my life, this was my first attempt at my favorite author, Dr Seuss type poetry.
And that's what I loved most about his books, that they were stupidly funny.
However, like I said, I love getting the feedback, so thank you once again.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I enjoyed reading. My youngest son has always been a vivid reader. He swears that Dr. Seuss and Shakespeare are the best authors ever. I personally never put those two together, but he did. I really enjoyed reading and this entry caused me to smile.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I enjoyed reading. My youngest son has always been a vivid reader. He swears that Dr. Seuss and Shakespeare are the best authors ever. I personally never put those two together, but he did. I really enjoyed reading and this entry caused me to smile.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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That is so funny how your son loves Shakespeare and Dr Seuss, who couldn't be more opposite. Now that's a true lover of writing.
Thank you so much Barb, as your reviews are equally so much fun to read, and I love when someone comments that it made them smile.
Thank you again, as you made my day!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Quite cute and humorous. Love the ending regarding Reeses. One suggestion would be with the following line:
I hope that soon my sneezes, seizes. Ceases may work better than seizes.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Quite cute and humorous. Love the ending regarding Reeses. One suggestion would be with the following line:
I hope that soon my sneezes, seizes. Ceases may work better than seizes.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thanks Tom, another duh, blonde senior moment on my behalf.
I went in and edited, so thanks for catching,
& for your very kind review!
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My pleasure
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun use of the same end rhyming sound here, cleverly arranged words that are full of humour as ageing can be a curse and also be amusing, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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A fun use of the same end rhyming sound here, cleverly arranged words that are full of humour as ageing can be a curse and also be amusing, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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You are a sweetheart Dolly! Thank you so much, as I've been wanting to try something like this. Thanks again for your kind review!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
So, as an "aging" person myself, I appreciate how serious some of the changes we go through feel. But you, like myself, have taken the inevitable and turned it into a funny "what are ya gonna do about it" situation. Nice flow in the poem and the rhyming is good, but I don't understand some of the punctuation, like the dash between the and face in the third line.
Overall, very entertaining. Good luck.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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So, as an "aging" person myself, I appreciate how serious some of the changes we go through feel. But you, like myself, have taken the inevitable and turned it into a funny "what are ya gonna do about it" situation. Nice flow in the poem and the rhyming is good, but I don't understand some of the punctuation, like the dash between the and face in the third line.
Overall, very entertaining. Good luck.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thanks Pam, that might have been a typo, so I truly appreciate you pointing it out. And thank you for the very kind review!
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Pam, you are a sweetheart! I had no idea that dash was there, as there was no need at all. As far as the other punctuation, I think I am writing from the sting ages; high school English, college writing, and it's just lately that I'm learning the new way of writing w no capital letters on the first word of every line. Back in college, if you didn't capitalize those or put punctuation to show the rhythm of your poem, you'd get marked down.
So your help is priceless to me, Dolly. Thank you again!
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Writing can be confusing these days! I'm constantly Googling the correct way to go about all these new-fangled writing rules, lol!
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
You know, this is the absolute truth. And you have a perfect contest using humor with such a serious situation. One, I did not think about. Thank you for posting this bittersweet awareness poem. Have a great day.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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You know, this is the absolute truth. And you have a perfect contest using humor with such a serious situation. One, I did not think about. Thank you for posting this bittersweet awareness poem. Have a great day.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Carolyn, you are a sweetheart and thank you for the very kind review.
It was a first time doing one like that so I appreciate!
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You are welcome.
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Thank you once again, as you have no idea how much your kind words mean to me!
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You are welcome.
Comment from E. Denison
Great job here, mystery writer. I think you did an excellent job with a challenging topic/presentation. There is definitely a Seussical vibe to this work that I think was a really intelligent choice. A couple small grammar suggestions that may be helpful - there is an apostrophe within lives in the first line that I think may not be necessary. There is also a dash between the and face in the first stanza that slows the reader down a bit. Also, I see the word seizes in the forth stanza and I wonder if ceases my not be a useful substitute? They sound very similar phonetically, certainly, but by content (if my interpretation of your work is correct) ceases may be closer to what you ultimately were looking for. These are very small suggestions though. Great job here - best of luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Great job here, mystery writer. I think you did an excellent job with a challenging topic/presentation. There is definitely a Seussical vibe to this work that I think was a really intelligent choice. A couple small grammar suggestions that may be helpful - there is an apostrophe within lives in the first line that I think may not be necessary. There is also a dash between the and face in the first stanza that slows the reader down a bit. Also, I see the word seizes in the forth stanza and I wonder if ceases my not be a useful substitute? They sound very similar phonetically, certainly, but by content (if my interpretation of your work is correct) ceases may be closer to what you ultimately were looking for. These are very small suggestions though. Great job here - best of luck with the contest!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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I love your feedback. Fortunately someone else pointed them out, so hopefully they're fixed. The dash by the word face must have been a typo, but Lol, I think after so many rhymes, everything started to just blend together! Haha. Thank for your awesome review as well, it was a fun poem, and right now fun & silly are my favorites.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
Dr. Seuss is a favorite of mine as well and you did him proud with well written and whimsical poem. The rhymes work perfectly and create a quick pace which I enjoy in poetry. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Dr. Seuss is a favorite of mine as well and you did him proud with well written and whimsical poem. The rhymes work perfectly and create a quick pace which I enjoy in poetry. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you so so much! Not sure I'll try it again, but you never get too old for Dr Seuss!
Comment from nomi338
Those of us who weather the storm of scorn from our elders until we ourselves reach that coveted age. We need explain ourselves to no one as we have earned our place at the grown folks table. A place of honor where we dispense tidbits of knowledge.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Those of us who weather the storm of scorn from our elders until we ourselves reach that coveted age. We need explain ourselves to no one as we have earned our place at the grown folks table. A place of honor where we dispense tidbits of knowledge.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Thanks Nomi for your kind review!
