Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 8"
Can a broken heart be mended?

24 total reviews 
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well written story. It follows your established formula and has no issues that I can see. I sure the audience this is designed for will be deeply enthralled as their relationship moves forward and life moves around them.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I know you would've had them in bed the first time they met.
reply by lancellot on 04-Apr-2022
    Maybe, but only after a nice meal and the horse ride. That is romantic.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    It is romantic, but...I honestly believe that a relationship needs to be built before sex inters in. Sex does not define a relationship. Women's purpose in life is not for sex. I know we view this differently.
reply by lancellot on 04-Apr-2022
    Actually we don't see this differently. We agree

    Our main difference is: My characters in fiction are not me or limited by me.

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    I don't feel mine are either. My characters drive my witting. They often take paths that I had not intended them too. Not only often, but in every novel I've ever written. I'm writing one right now and have to change it numerous times because of what my characters want.
reply by lancellot on 04-Apr-2022
    Can't wait to see it.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That first kiss is going to be a hard one to consummate. But given your skills, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

A teensy consideration:

took a deep breath, and said under her breath, [There's kind of an echo with the two "breaths" here. It's minor, but I'd consider modifying the first to "she breathed deeply" before the "and said under her breath". But like I said, it's minor]

By the way, I like the way you use a sprinkling of Spanish in the dialogue. I'm wondering if the parents would use "mijo"? (I just realized I don't know if that's the spelling of it, but that's the sound of it in conversation.)


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    I made the first change. In this part of Texas, they say 'Hijo'. I just retired from a bilingual school. I've got Spanish down. LOL
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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I never noticed its length; I was so engrossed in the Ali and Cord not quite romance. This is really enjoyable, and Ali is getting to be more of a ranch girl all the time. She even took a cougar scream in stride and they are really scary.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. She knew Cord was well armed. LOL
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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I'm enjoying your love story. It seems to be going along well at this point. Cord's father thinks this might be the first time Cord's really been in love. I guess the fact that Ali is supposed to go back to the city at some point might be something they have to work out. I'll be anxious to find out what Pat plans to do later this month when we learn out bad he can be.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    In my book, he's really bad, but maybe it's just me. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Something always seems to get in the way, but many times that is best. It's keep letting the anticipation build all the more, which will only make that special moment even great when it finally happens. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    I promise that kiss will happen, but it will take a while, that I can promise. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a lovely all-encompassing read. Good, they shared their past lives. Not a spag, anywhere. I look forward to your next chapter. Still one of my favourite writers.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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I like this chapter, Barbara. We're learning more about the operation of the ranch and about the feelings of Cord and Ali toward each other. And we anxiously wait for more. Well done.

One thing: "Once in the hallway, Emma(?) stood back and gave Cordero a once over. "You're actually pretty sexy."

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
    LOL She's a character in my new book. Oh dear. Thank you. I'll change it right now.
reply by Judy Lawless on 03-Apr-2022
    I wondered if that might be the case. lol You're welcome.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Excellent
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Well done on this chapter. When I saw the picture I figured something was going to happen involving the cougar. I am glad that they heard it and did not get attacked by it. thanks for another interesting chapter.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Anne Johnston on 03-Apr-2022
    You are welcome
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Cordero has discovered that thongs with Ali could be a rough ride, as his dad points out that love, in the beginning never runs smooth, particularly with a feisty girl like Ali, one relationship hasn't worked out, I remember mine well. Beautifully written, great job, Barbara, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 03-Apr-2022
    Most welcome
reply by royowen on 03-Apr-2022
    Most welcome Barbara.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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I think you'll have both confused before they finally get together. You once again wrote a great chapter, which I enjoyed reading. Have a great afternoon. Shirley

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 Comment Written 03-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
    I think you're right. LOL Thank you for the kind review.