The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Chronicles of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
13 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Amahra, this is a fine chapter and it is so very well written. It does look as if Gangus and Behira have been offered some military help.
You are writing this so very well. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hi Amahra, this is a fine chapter and it is so very well written. It does look as if Gangus and Behira have been offered some military help.
You are writing this so very well. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Ulla.
Comment from J. P. Olesen
Hi, amahra,
I've been juggling a few things or I would have reviewed this earlier.
I read several chapters of your novel earlier, and I'm guessing this was a pretty tough one to write. The kind of chapter where an awful lot has happened (which probably had tons of action and dialogue) and now, requires more than a little summation.
Also, you can propel the story forward only so quickly under those circumstances. Still, I thought you did so exceptionally well.
There is some punctuation I might not have used, I might have changed the phrasing of a word or two, and there are always disagreements over commas, colons, semi-colons, etc., and when to use them. These are very personal decisions, and even the "experts" disagree. I ain't no expert.
Bottom line--it was a pleasure reading your work, and I doubt it could have been written much better than you did--and I say that not being overly fond of reading Science Fiction/Fantasy. Keep the good work!
Best,
J. P.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
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Hi, amahra,
I've been juggling a few things or I would have reviewed this earlier.
I read several chapters of your novel earlier, and I'm guessing this was a pretty tough one to write. The kind of chapter where an awful lot has happened (which probably had tons of action and dialogue) and now, requires more than a little summation.
Also, you can propel the story forward only so quickly under those circumstances. Still, I thought you did so exceptionally well.
There is some punctuation I might not have used, I might have changed the phrasing of a word or two, and there are always disagreements over commas, colons, semi-colons, etc., and when to use them. These are very personal decisions, and even the "experts" disagree. I ain't no expert.
Bottom line--it was a pleasure reading your work, and I doubt it could have been written much better than you did--and I say that not being overly fond of reading Science Fiction/Fantasy. Keep the good work!
Best,
J. P.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much, J. P. I have a paid editor standing by before publishing, but always feel free to show me in writing during your review of my work any punctuation or word phrasing. I will always consider your suggestions.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading part 1 and look forward to what comes next. I haven't read much fantasy fiction on this site or otherwise. I find it a dramatically creative genre that takes a different skill set then other categories of writing.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed reading part 1 and look forward to what comes next. I haven't read much fantasy fiction on this site or otherwise. I find it a dramatically creative genre that takes a different skill set then other categories of writing.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
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Thank you, K L, for your review.
Comment from royowen
It looks like Gangus and Brehira have only been offered military help from a few of their allies, but a couple of their main so called allies have refused, but they might have to run with that, but they might have to cope with that. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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It looks like Gangus and Brehira have only been offered military help from a few of their allies, but a couple of their main so called allies have refused, but they might have to run with that, but they might have to cope with that. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Roy. Always a pleasure hearing from you.
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Most welcome Amahra
Comment from Ric Myworld
Skin that arrow wouldn't pierce sure would have come in handy back in those days. LOL. Of course, body armor and a good set of wings would have to. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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Skin that arrow wouldn't pierce sure would have come in handy back in those days. LOL. Of course, body armor and a good set of wings would have to. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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Thanks, Ric, for your review.
Comment from tfawcus
A fine chapter with good dialogue and the rise and fall of emotion to mirror events. I imagine raising an army in those days would never have been easy. You've shown how important diplomacy and hospitality are during the negotiations. Nicely set up for the next part.
Just one minor editing suggestion:
much-needed trip, which Brehira had insisted.
(Suggest either on which or insisted on)
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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A fine chapter with good dialogue and the rise and fall of emotion to mirror events. I imagine raising an army in those days would never have been easy. You've shown how important diplomacy and hospitality are during the negotiations. Nicely set up for the next part.
Just one minor editing suggestion:
much-needed trip, which Brehira had insisted.
(Suggest either on which or insisted on)
Comment Written 29-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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I think (on which) would be better...(insisted on) would end the sentence with a preposition. Thank you so much. It's a pleasure having you as a reviewer.
Comment from Jay Squires
This is the chapter of recuperation after the last one of their devastating losses. Now they must test the loyalty of their alleged allies. Which they did and found all but two wanting. I like this chapter. Not just Gangus and his men need rest from the battle, but the reader does, too. Time to regroup and build up confidence for the next battle.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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This is the chapter of recuperation after the last one of their devastating losses. Now they must test the loyalty of their alleged allies. Which they did and found all but two wanting. I like this chapter. Not just Gangus and his men need rest from the battle, but the reader does, too. Time to regroup and build up confidence for the next battle.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Jay. Not just the characters and the reader, but the writer needed a rest also. LOL!
Comment from Marienkiefer
Hello,
I enjoyed this story. This is the first chapter I read from your work, which intrigues me to visit more of your writing.
-Great description or period and era.
-Natural, flowing dialogue, and expressions of mannerisms.
-Great attention to development the other world portrayed.
-Very interesting story.
-Interesting name structure and vocabulary like (Brehira, could be close relation to word pond in a certain other language or Bahar : sea, and Noor (light).
-Really enjoy your storytelling. Well designed story.
Have a nice evening .
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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Hello,
I enjoyed this story. This is the first chapter I read from your work, which intrigues me to visit more of your writing.
-Great description or period and era.
-Natural, flowing dialogue, and expressions of mannerisms.
-Great attention to development the other world portrayed.
-Very interesting story.
-Interesting name structure and vocabulary like (Brehira, could be close relation to word pond in a certain other language or Bahar : sea, and Noor (light).
-Really enjoy your storytelling. Well designed story.
Have a nice evening .
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
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What a wonderful interview. I'm so glad you liked the story. Thank you.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Good chapter, full of tension that kept me reading to see what would happen next. You did a great job, and I didn't see any errors. Have a great evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
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Good chapter, full of tension that kept me reading to see what would happen next. You did a great job, and I didn't see any errors. Have a great evening. Shirley
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent piece my friend! The subject was interesting and held my friend and the imagery was spot on;-)
Thanxxx for sharing and many blessings to you and your family!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
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Excellent piece my friend! The subject was interesting and held my friend and the imagery was spot on;-)
Thanxxx for sharing and many blessings to you and your family!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the review.