Reviews from

The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise

Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "The Chronicles of Bethica"
Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings

11 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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A good battle tactic. Almost like a giant jujitsu move, 'appear weak when you are strong': "The Nordoxz, however, only allowed several hundred at a time to train openly in an attempt to obscure their true might." Is this where the belief that the gods or in today's world, that they took sides. Who should win pepper the Bible with these stories. We're sure God has a favorite basketball team, especially when it comes time for a foul shot or overtime. You have captured much in this chapter.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
    Thank you very much, Liz.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
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This is a great chapter. You are quite a writer. Your descriptive in these scenes is beyond words. Your paragraph when the "horse's hooves on both sides rose from the ground..." Sensational descriptive!

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
    Thank you very much, John.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent
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Excellent story my friend! The storyline was captivating and held my attention throughout the piece and the characters interact nicely together;-) The imagery is spot on!

Thanks for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
    thank you for rview
Comment from Judy Lawless
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I always wonder how the minds of writers such as you can see these detailed stories of fantasy, amahra. You have done a superb job of describing these battles, making my stomach tight with knots. I'm glad I'm not reading it at bedtime. lol

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
    Thank you so much, Judy. I am so flattered by your review. I put a lot into my writing and your words have really touched me, my dear. And I apologize for putting your stomach in knots. lol
reply by Judy Lawless on 08-Mar-2022
    You are most welcome, amahra. Don't worry, the knots didn't last long. lol
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

There is no one here on FS who writes battle scenes as masterfully as you, Amahra. I'm too old to be in the saddle alongside Gangus, but your writing leaves me no choice! I'm kinda glad he retreated when he did.

killing Volarians and Orcs the like. [I've never heard of "the like" used in this manner, though I've heard of "alike". You may be right though. Just thought I'd mention it.]

The steeds rose on hind legs, their riders holding tightly, and then stomp down on the Bohaus [... and then STOMPED down on the Bohaus...]

Great job!



 Comment Written 08-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
    Thank you, Jay. I looked it up and it's [and the likes] but I used it wrong, here. I'll go back over it and make both corrections.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You portray the pre-battle tensions well as Lord Gangus leads his troops to the place of confrontation. The battle scene itself is fast-moving, exciting, and easy to visualise from your descriptions. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
    Thank you so much for this review and for pointing out what you liked. I really appreciate you as a review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I'm not used to hearing of Gangus and his valiant warriors being defeated, even with the supernatural arrayed against, and poor old Gangus it was particularly hard for him, enduring the taunts of his enemies, he's trying to appeal to the other tribes, I suspect it might work, well done, Amahra, brilliant job, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
    Thank you, Roy. Always a pleasure hearing your review.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Amahra, I really enjoyed this chapter. As always it's so well written, and as usual so much action is taking place. As you know, fantasy writing has never been me, but you've certainly convinced me to read this one. It's well written and I'm rooting for Gangus. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
    Thank you very much, Ulla.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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You wrote a very brutal battle. The story is so full of action and good description, I couldn't stop reading. I was rooting for Gangus. You did an excellent job. Enjoy your Monday afternoon. Shirley

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
    Thank you very much, Shirley.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As always, your descriptive sentences amaze me with their detail. But in all honesty, there was one sentence I questioned about the "tinkling of swords meeting." I think of tinkling as a dainty sound, like wind chimes. I would think the sound of swords thrust together would have more of a clanging ring. Yes, it's just me sharing a thought; however worthless it might seem. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
    No, I think you're right now that I think of it. Clanking is better. I'll change that. And thank you so much for this review, the stars, and for your suggestion. I really appreciate it, Ric.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
    I meant, clanging is better.
reply by Ric Myworld on 07-Mar-2022
    I don't make many suggestions. Especially, to those who don't give me any reasons to question. LOL.