Reflections
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Sprinkles Of Smiles"Illustrated poems
3 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
If there are happy moments, there are many happy smiles. I like the idea of the farmer, his wife, their son; the accountant, and accountant's wife; who passed her bar and finally grandma appears. But the twins spilled the rum, no wondering they were smiling!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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If there are happy moments, there are many happy smiles. I like the idea of the farmer, his wife, their son; the accountant, and accountant's wife; who passed her bar and finally grandma appears. But the twins spilled the rum, no wondering they were smiling!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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A little bit of rum goes a long way So glad you like the poem.
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is sure a happy poem. All those smiles kind of made my day a little lighter. The flow of the poetry is lovely and makes it easy to read and understand. I truly enjoyed this poem. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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This is sure a happy poem. All those smiles kind of made my day a little lighter. The flow of the poetry is lovely and makes it easy to read and understand. I truly enjoyed this poem. Nicely done.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for reading this and for your kind words. I'm so glad you like the poem
Comment from MJK
Love this piece, the story of generations of imperfect yet loveable and loved people. I was intruiged by the cast of characters and the way the events represented the passage of time.
I think it might create a cool effect to add in at least one more "Hiddledeedee," especially at the end. Perhaps it could just be tacked on the end as it's own stanza, a way of saying "So it goes," or even repeating it twice could suggest a heartbeat of sorts.
Other than that, if you're like me, and you enjoy going back over pieces and making adjustments, work on the syllable count/rhythm of some of the lines to optimize the flow. For example, you could drop " Their" before "teething" or say "her son"s... face" instead of " the accountant."
I truly enjoyed this piece.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Love this piece, the story of generations of imperfect yet loveable and loved people. I was intruiged by the cast of characters and the way the events represented the passage of time.
I think it might create a cool effect to add in at least one more "Hiddledeedee," especially at the end. Perhaps it could just be tacked on the end as it's own stanza, a way of saying "So it goes," or even repeating it twice could suggest a heartbeat of sorts.
Other than that, if you're like me, and you enjoy going back over pieces and making adjustments, work on the syllable count/rhythm of some of the lines to optimize the flow. For example, you could drop " Their" before "teething" or say "her son"s... face" instead of " the accountant."
I truly enjoyed this piece.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thanks so much for your kind words and support. I'm so glad you like the poem . I like your suggestion.
