Wish Upon A Star
Was it a dream?15 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This is a very magical, dreamy version of fantasy. It is like the Cinderella story, only this prince did not have to have a glass slippery to find his princess. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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This is a very magical, dreamy version of fantasy. It is like the Cinderella story, only this prince did not have to have a glass slippery to find his princess. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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I am getting slower by the second and every time I think I have a handle on being polite and telling everyone how much their efforts and words mean to me (truly mean to me) I discover I have just fallen further behind. I appreciate that people actually enjoy what spills from my aging brain and couldn't find more happiness than sharing my writing. I thank you for your time and thoughts.
Sending a basket of smiles and hugs and apologies... especially to those I've left waiting for days.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
May cupid sprinkle you with much joy!
Always, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Both alluring and creepy! The question you ask in your description line is most apropos. Who was this man, who visited this "princess" in her bed, at night? A dream, a vision -- or a rapist, who somehow charmed her into submission? This is very well written, and I could see how it could be part of a larger work, but weaving a plot around it would be quite a challenge!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Both alluring and creepy! The question you ask in your description line is most apropos. Who was this man, who visited this "princess" in her bed, at night? A dream, a vision -- or a rapist, who somehow charmed her into submission? This is very well written, and I could see how it could be part of a larger work, but weaving a plot around it would be quite a challenge!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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I am getting slower by the second and every time I think I have a handle on being polite and telling everyone how much their efforts and words mean to me (truly mean to me) I discover I have just fallen further behind. I appreciate that people actually enjoy what spills from my aging brain and couldn't find more happiness than sharing my writing. I thank you for your time and thoughts.
Sending a basket of smiles and hugs and apologies... especially to those I've left waiting for days.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
May cupid sprinkle you with much joy!
Always, Carol
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Thank you, Carol, for your sweet and loving note. I appreciate your caring ways and your kindness. May you have a blessed Valentine's Day too, with the ones you love ❤ Many Hugs!
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Heather Burroughs
Your story left me feeling a few types of ways lol it was descriptive and exhilarating even though it was only 70 words. Great job. Good luck with your entry in the upcoming contest. Many blessings to you.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Your story left me feeling a few types of ways lol it was descriptive and exhilarating even though it was only 70 words. Great job. Good luck with your entry in the upcoming contest. Many blessings to you.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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I am getting slower by the second and every time I think I have a handle on being polite and telling everyone how much their efforts and words mean to me (truly mean to me) I discover I have just fallen further behind. I appreciate that people actually enjoy what spills from my aging brain and couldn't find more happiness than sharing my writing. I thank you for your time and thoughts.
Sending a basket of smiles and hugs and apologies... especially to those I've left waiting for days.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
May cupid sprinkle you with much joy!
Always, Carol
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Though we've never met, you and your words have a special place in my heart. I thank you for being such a lovely and thoughtful woman 💗
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Thank you for making me smile. I am always just a few words away if you need me.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written.
I'm glad it was fiction. I can neither see, nor imagine, a kiss from a stranger over an awakening girl/woman silencing her scream. Also, without muscle tissue, how do breasts quiver unless the entire body is terrorized? Oh well, nice picture trying to imagine the sight.
Good luck, and best wishes.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Well written.
I'm glad it was fiction. I can neither see, nor imagine, a kiss from a stranger over an awakening girl/woman silencing her scream. Also, without muscle tissue, how do breasts quiver unless the entire body is terrorized? Oh well, nice picture trying to imagine the sight.
Good luck, and best wishes.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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I am getting slower by the second and every time I think I have a handle on being polite and telling everyone how much their efforts and words mean to me (truly mean to me) I discover I have just fallen further behind. I appreciate that people actually enjoy what spills from my aging brain and couldn't find more happiness than sharing my writing. I thank you for your time and thoughts.
Sending a basket of smiles and hugs and apologies... especially to those I've left waiting for days.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
May cupid sprinkle you with much joy!
Always, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
That is really scary - but at least he disappeared! You built up the suspense very well, and maintained the dream-like state through to the end where the reality was exposed. Well done - and best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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That is really scary - but at least he disappeared! You built up the suspense very well, and maintained the dream-like state through to the end where the reality was exposed. Well done - and best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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I am getting slower by the second and every time I think I have a handle on being polite and telling everyone how much their efforts and words mean to me (truly mean to me) I discover I have just fallen further behind. I appreciate that people actually enjoy what spills from my aging brain and couldn't find more happiness than sharing my writing. I thank you for your time and thoughts.
Sending a basket of smiles and hugs and apologies... especially to those I've left waiting for days.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
May cupid sprinkle you with much joy!
Always, Carol
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made effective use of your mere seventy words in this piece
with a shocking contrast, taking the plot from fantasy bliss in a dream to horror after waking.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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You have made effective use of your mere seventy words in this piece
with a shocking contrast, taking the plot from fantasy bliss in a dream to horror after waking.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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I am getting slower by the second and every time I think I have a handle on being polite and telling everyone how much their efforts and words mean to me (truly mean to me) I discover I have just fallen further behind. I appreciate that people actually enjoy what spills from my aging brain and couldn't find more happiness than sharing my writing. I thank you for your time and thoughts.
Sending a basket of smiles and hugs and apologies... especially to those I've left waiting for days.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
May cupid sprinkle you with much joy!
Always, Carol
Comment from lancellot
Well, I guess someone's drink got spiked. It happens. I thought you did a good job building the suspense and creating a seemingly pleasant atmosphere of a lovely night, then to turn it into a nightmare.
Good work.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Well, I guess someone's drink got spiked. It happens. I thought you did a good job building the suspense and creating a seemingly pleasant atmosphere of a lovely night, then to turn it into a nightmare.
Good work.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Yes, I believe she was in la-la land, and as she woke, she brought her Prince Charming along for a second. Funny how so many people can read different meanings into so few words. Thank you!
Comment from LisaMay
Your story is very unsettling. On one hand, how traumatic to wake up with a stranger in your bedroom. Luckily he left without harming her. She enjoyed it while she was asleep, but the sexual reality is threatening. How well did she know Prince Charming? Is random sex with a stranger OK if they don't hurt us (or if they are rich and powerful)? Sex and consent and wishful thinking vs reality are thought-provokingly presented in your brief story.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Your story is very unsettling. On one hand, how traumatic to wake up with a stranger in your bedroom. Luckily he left without harming her. She enjoyed it while she was asleep, but the sexual reality is threatening. How well did she know Prince Charming? Is random sex with a stranger OK if they don't hurt us (or if they are rich and powerful)? Sex and consent and wishful thinking vs reality are thought-provokingly presented in your brief story.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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I am so sorry that I upset you. It shows how we as writers and readers can read the exact same paragraph but see it such a different light. My mindset was as she woke from her dream his image was still with her, but yours was of an intruder who meant harm. And for some reason I didn't see the kiss as random sex. But thank you for showing me how others can see my writing in such a different light.
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Maybe you haven't had an upsetting sexual experience like I have had. Your story is tender and sweet otherwise.
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But I think I have... I am grateful when I can put my mindset somewhere else though. I am so sorry for upsetting you. It was meant to be a sweet dream.
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And it is a sweet dream - it's just the waking up that changes it.
Comment from victor 66
You have a very nice illustration to go with your very short story. Who can resist a tale concerning love, romance and a star lit moon? You're ending was a good surprise and I wish you luck in the contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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You have a very nice illustration to go with your very short story. Who can resist a tale concerning love, romance and a star lit moon? You're ending was a good surprise and I wish you luck in the contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this short post. I appreciate your time and your thoughts.
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You are most welcome, mystery writer.
Comment from Bill Schott
This seventy-word flash fiction story, Wish Upon a Star, has the required word count and finds the dreamer in a great place until the eventual waking comes around. Sweet dreams.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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This seventy-word flash fiction story, Wish Upon a Star, has the required word count and finds the dreamer in a great place until the eventual waking comes around. Sweet dreams.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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I envisioned the Prince Charming teasing her unclear thoughts as she woke...was he there or was it still part of the dream? Thank you for your kind review.
