Groovin' In The Grottos
A memory of an airplane flight to groove in the grottos7 total reviews
Comment from writer723
I really enjoyed reading your story. You have such a wonderful way with words and are quite adept at expressing yourself. I found this writing to be very interesting. It held my attention throughout. Your vivid descriptions made it easy for me to visualize the scenario you were writing about. Your story really kept me in suspense. Excellent job!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2023
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I really enjoyed reading your story. You have such a wonderful way with words and are quite adept at expressing yourself. I found this writing to be very interesting. It held my attention throughout. Your vivid descriptions made it easy for me to visualize the scenario you were writing about. Your story really kept me in suspense. Excellent job!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your review! I really do appreciate it.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Unfortunately, it's the children who tend to hurt the most when a family breaks up. They also tend to feel like it might be their fault that it happened. I'm sure it wasn't the case. I hope you were able to mend feelings with your dad and continue on with a loving relationship. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Unfortunately, it's the children who tend to hurt the most when a family breaks up. They also tend to feel like it might be their fault that it happened. I'm sure it wasn't the case. I hope you were able to mend feelings with your dad and continue on with a loving relationship. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thanks! I appreciate the review. In all honesty, this is a complete work of fiction. I have had the fortune of having a good relationship with my entire family my whole life.
Comment from Rebel Jim
I liked your tale It brings back some memories!
Good luck in the contest... Didn't see anything wrong,
Because your caricature was a kid, allowances should be made.
The kid expressing itself!.... I liked it!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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I liked your tale It brings back some memories!
Good luck in the contest... Didn't see anything wrong,
Because your caricature was a kid, allowances should be made.
The kid expressing itself!.... I liked it!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thanks! I appreciate the review.
Comment from SimianSavant
I think this is effective in capturing the whimsy of childhood. There isn't an apparent reason for him Floating around the airplane, and there doesn't have to be, because it is dreamlike, the sort of dream one might have when not in control of one' surroundings.
Here are some small grammar observations for you:
I would have like it <= liked
He shook my hand goodbye at the house and off <= insert comma after HOUSE, to avoid the reader getting temporarily confused by the phrase *house and off*
As we taxied to the runway, I had an idea. {There was something I wanted to try.} <= this seems slightly redundant
There was no thickness in the air; nothing to slow me down. <= this semicolon should be a comma, as the second phrase is a fragment
She was smiling so big. <= bigly
OK I was just kidding about that one. Although, *so big* seems a bit of a weird phrase to end the sentence.
The stewardess though, wasn't happy. <= the stewardess, though,
Grottos, I learned are small caves. <= Grottos, I learned,
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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I think this is effective in capturing the whimsy of childhood. There isn't an apparent reason for him Floating around the airplane, and there doesn't have to be, because it is dreamlike, the sort of dream one might have when not in control of one' surroundings.
Here are some small grammar observations for you:
I would have like it <= liked
He shook my hand goodbye at the house and off <= insert comma after HOUSE, to avoid the reader getting temporarily confused by the phrase *house and off*
As we taxied to the runway, I had an idea. {There was something I wanted to try.} <= this seems slightly redundant
There was no thickness in the air; nothing to slow me down. <= this semicolon should be a comma, as the second phrase is a fragment
She was smiling so big. <= bigly
OK I was just kidding about that one. Although, *so big* seems a bit of a weird phrase to end the sentence.
The stewardess though, wasn't happy. <= the stewardess, though,
Grottos, I learned are small caves. <= Grottos, I learned,
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thanks for the review and feedback. I appreciate it.
Comment from BlueMarble
Well that certainly was an exciting first flight, makes flying a lot more fun for kids. I like the build up to the reason you were on it. You did a great job with the tension leading up to it. Just one tiny typo I noticed in about the 6th paragraph --- " I would have like it if he had come with us," change like to liked.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Well that certainly was an exciting first flight, makes flying a lot more fun for kids. I like the build up to the reason you were on it. You did a great job with the tension leading up to it. Just one tiny typo I noticed in about the 6th paragraph --- " I would have like it if he had come with us," change like to liked.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thanks. I guess I still struggle to catch those things. Something I'm working on getting batter at.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story for the Memories Of Youth writing prompt Contest and best wishes in the contest! The storyline was very interesting and held my attention throughout the piece and the characters interact nicely together;-)
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Excellent story for the Memories Of Youth writing prompt Contest and best wishes in the contest! The storyline was very interesting and held my attention throughout the piece and the characters interact nicely together;-)
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have to say that I was enjoying this piece early on. There was a heart-felt story going on and the voice in he piece was good and distinctive. And then...
the flight of fancy and fantasy just destroyed what came before which was good solid writing. I wish it had stayed in that vein.
it was really up to me decide. - me to decide.
I would have like it if he had come- liked it.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Hi there,
I have to say that I was enjoying this piece early on. There was a heart-felt story going on and the voice in he piece was good and distinctive. And then...
the flight of fancy and fantasy just destroyed what came before which was good solid writing. I wish it had stayed in that vein.
it was really up to me decide. - me to decide.
I would have like it if he had come- liked it.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thanks for the review and catching that error. I appreciate it.
