Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Revenge - Chap 41 Part 1"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
15 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
I really enjoyed Marion's dialogue in this episode, as she "rushed down the hall, pounding on every door, calling for her husband." I'm also glad Jaz and the other girls were able to get onto a boat leaving the island. Throughout, this has been a whirlwind roller coaster ride of twists and turns and pure adventure. Fantastic writing.
Vito grabbed am unsuspecting Charles (grabbed an unsuspecting)
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2021
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I really enjoyed Marion's dialogue in this episode, as she "rushed down the hall, pounding on every door, calling for her husband." I'm also glad Jaz and the other girls were able to get onto a boat leaving the island. Throughout, this has been a whirlwind roller coaster ride of twists and turns and pure adventure. Fantastic writing.
Vito grabbed am unsuspecting Charles (grabbed an unsuspecting)
Comment Written 20-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2021
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Better late than never, but the feelings are just as special when I say I thank you for all your support, kindness, and good cheer throughout the year. I appreciate when others enjoy my efforts.
Sending you smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
All those bad types usually had nicknames, you know, like Vito the mouth, or Vito the Moretti-mouth. Of course, in my lifetime, and having known more than a few. I just called them all big-mouthed dipshits. Oops, sorry that bad word slipped. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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All those bad types usually had nicknames, you know, like Vito the mouth, or Vito the Moretti-mouth. Of course, in my lifetime, and having known more than a few. I just called them all big-mouthed dipshits. Oops, sorry that bad word slipped. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Have you looked at some of my writing this time around? Drop a few of those naughty words here and there, but stayed clear of the real bad ones. LOL Smiles, Carol
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Yes, I've noticed a few. Like the bazooka butt girl. But every now and then, the naughty side can be nice. LOL. :-)
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, another fine chapter which is fast paced an full of action. Trust Marian to go back and play the hero. The big question is, will she get away with it? We'll have to wait and see. A hug, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Hi Carol, another fine chapter which is fast paced an full of action. Trust Marian to go back and play the hero. The big question is, will she get away with it? We'll have to wait and see. A hug, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 20-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Thanks, Ulla.... Yes, Marian is the type to throw herself into the Lion's Den and then remember she might be by herself. only two chapters left and we'll see how it ends. Thank you so much for all your support and time. Hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
I was afraid of precisely that thing - that Marian would stubbornly play the hero and go back right into danger. But hopefully, like she said, Max and a whole team of police plus Garth and friends will arrive just in time.
One typo:
Vito grabbed am unsuspecting Charles (an)
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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I was afraid of precisely that thing - that Marian would stubbornly play the hero and go back right into danger. But hopefully, like she said, Max and a whole team of police plus Garth and friends will arrive just in time.
One typo:
Vito grabbed am unsuspecting Charles (an)
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2021
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Yes, Marian appears weak, but she actually can fight for the underdog when she must; besides, she expected the Calvary to arrive soon.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Wow! Great chapter! Looks like Vito's plan is going to backfire. I think Charles is realizing how evil Vito is -- a bit too late. I hope Marian is a fast thinker as Vito heads her way.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Wow! Great chapter! Looks like Vito's plan is going to backfire. I think Charles is realizing how evil Vito is -- a bit too late. I hope Marian is a fast thinker as Vito heads her way.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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You are awesome! I am thrilled you are enjoying the story and the ending. I was so nervous whether I could bring it with enough tension and then end with a happy ever after.
Hugs, Carol
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I think you're the queen of writing tension! I'm not sure my heart could stand much more. Lol.
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LOL... what a wonderful note to end my evening on. I am blessed. Thank you so much.
Love ya, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Thrilling build-up. Stupendous dialog. So glad the penultimate is already posted--going to read it ASAP. Hopefully, by the time I finish it, you'll have posted the finale.
[Suspecting Marian's decision=>SUGG: EXPECTING MARIAN'S REFUSAL], he extended his hand to her.
Marian's thoughts whirled in her mind as she hurried through the pathway back to the sanctuary. She knew Max would call for help, so [he'd=>SHE'D] enter the house as quickly as possible.
Hurrying down the passageways, Marian was soon near the bedrooms where Vito and Charles had held the girls. She continued toward the staircase, listened to see if anyone was in the [SUGG OMIT actual] hallway, and then exited.
Tired, frustrated, and angered, Vito grabbed [am=>AN] unsuspecting Charles by his shirt and shoved him against the wall.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thrilling build-up. Stupendous dialog. So glad the penultimate is already posted--going to read it ASAP. Hopefully, by the time I finish it, you'll have posted the finale.
[Suspecting Marian's decision=>SUGG: EXPECTING MARIAN'S REFUSAL], he extended his hand to her.
Marian's thoughts whirled in her mind as she hurried through the pathway back to the sanctuary. She knew Max would call for help, so [he'd=>SHE'D] enter the house as quickly as possible.
Hurrying down the passageways, Marian was soon near the bedrooms where Vito and Charles had held the girls. She continued toward the staircase, listened to see if anyone was in the [SUGG OMIT actual] hallway, and then exited.
Tired, frustrated, and angered, Vito grabbed [am=>AN] unsuspecting Charles by his shirt and shoved him against the wall.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Appreciate all your help and look forward for you setting me on the straight and narrow in our next go around.... I said I wasn't writing for a while, but my muse has already been whispering ideas in my ear. LOL
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
Great direction you've taken with this, Carol. Looks like Vito might be his own worst enemy right now. I almost feel sorry for Charles. I also hope Max gets to Marian in time. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Great direction you've taken with this, Carol. Looks like Vito might be his own worst enemy right now. I almost feel sorry for Charles. I also hope Max gets to Marian in time. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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I had a tinge of pity for Charles. He thought they'd be living in a mansion helping out a demented woman and soon discovered Vito had much bigger and horrifying plans for everyone.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I sure hope Max makes it in time to save Marian. You have a lot going on. I am enjoying this ending. Garth hurry!!!!!!!!!!
"Marian." He shook his head, "Stop, Marian." (period after 'head')
"I--I didn't say that, Vito. It was only a suggestion. Staring into Vito's crazed eyes, Charles realized they were doomed. (ending quotation mark needed after 'suggestion')
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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I sure hope Max makes it in time to save Marian. You have a lot going on. I am enjoying this ending. Garth hurry!!!!!!!!!!
"Marian." He shook his head, "Stop, Marian." (period after 'head')
"I--I didn't say that, Vito. It was only a suggestion. Staring into Vito's crazed eyes, Charles realized they were doomed. (ending quotation mark needed after 'suggestion')
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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As always, I thank you for your time, support and suggestions. I am grateful that you enjoyed my writing and stuck with me throughout.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a scary chapter, Carol, Vito has well and truly lost the plot, and Charles is a wimp! What on earth with Marian do now? Once they discover the other girls have gone, all hell will break lose. It's good I can read on. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx (saving the six for the last chapter!)
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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That was a scary chapter, Carol, Vito has well and truly lost the plot, and Charles is a wimp! What on earth with Marian do now? Once they discover the other girls have gone, all hell will break lose. It's good I can read on. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx (saving the six for the last chapter!)
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thank you my dear friend. It's been a struggle but when you can envision the ending is near, it's like Christmas morning. thank you for always being my support and encouragement.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
This is a great chapter. I can't wait to find out how this all ends and I guess I don't have long to wait now. Vito and Charles and about to be shocked when they find so many women missing.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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This is a great chapter. I can't wait to find out how this all ends and I guess I don't have long to wait now. Vito and Charles and about to be shocked when they find so many women missing.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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As always, I thank you for your time, support and suggestions. I am grateful that you enjoyed my writing and stuck with me throughout.
Hugs, Carol