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Revenge

Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Revenge - Chap 39"
Evil stalks the dynamic crime team

15 total reviews

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Carol, this is moving on with the speed of a rollercoaster. While they were just going for an ice-cream all hell broke loose. What the heck is going to happen now, and what has happened to Allie. Hugs, Ulla:)))

Comment Written 18-Dec-2021

reply by the author on 18-Dec-2021

Hello, Ulla... Can you believe the story is about to wrap. the ending is written in three parts - Chap 41 thru 43. I have posted the first part and the following two will be tomorrow. You will be jumping for joy not to see another chapter begging you to read. Fingers crossed hoping everyone will enjoy the finish. Thanks for all your support.

Hugs, Carol

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster going down steep slopes with occasional inversions. I hope I don't fall over the sides before the action stops. Both Sam and Allie have been captured. I never expected any of this. It's now up to you Carol to save them.

Comment Written 16-Dec-2021

reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021

I've done my part, Lorraine and now you'll see if I have accomplished it. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Thank you so much for all your kindness and support. Hugs, Carol

Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, Carol! Things certainly have moved forward, since I left off. It's obviously been a very bumpy ride. I wish Allie wasn't kidnapped, but these guys play dirty and will cause trouble all around them, until they are finally caught.

Here is my list of suggestions:

I guess with this guy; we have to deal with one puzzle piece at a time."
-->
I guess with this guy, we have to deal with one puzzle piece at a time."

"But my mind can't get off the question of where is he.
-->
"But my mind can't get off the question of where he is.

Hank turned his head to look at his wife ...
-->
Hank turned his head to look at his wife, ...

I'd like to take a minor detour and drive-by Garth and Allie's place.
-->
I'd like to take a minor detour and drive by Garth and Allie's place. ["drive-by" might be hyphenated if used as a noun or an adjective, but here, "drive" is a verb, and "by" is a preposition.]

***

I'm sorry I missed so much of your story. I've had many personal matters to deal with, and unfortunately it's continuing. A lot of the problem is with our apartment. We have a lot of work to do in it, so sometimes you'll see me, and at other times, you may not.

Comment Written 15-Dec-2021

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021

No problem, Mary Kay. I too am dealing with another round of Kaitlyn and I just want this story ended so I don't have to write anymore. The holidays are ruined for my family, I'm ill, and like you, I have apartments with problems and renters who don't want to pay.

Thanks for your pointers. I promise to check everyone of them out as soon as I finish all of this. Only a couple chapters left. Hurrah!

Take care....Always, CArol

reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 15-Dec-2021

Hello Carol, my dear friend. I'm so sorry that Kaitlyn is still acting out in apparently disturbing ways, and I don't know whether you saw my PM sometime ago, but I think she needs to be delivered, more than healed. It's terrible that she's putting your family through this nightmare. And I'm sorry you're sick and that you're having problems with your tenants and the apartments.
If you don't want to write anymore, you must really be tired. Are you going to try to publish and sell your books? I hope so. You have the talent, so ... why not market it?
As far as my review goes, with the revisions, you're very welcome. I'm happy to help. You'll get to it, whenever you're ready. You and your family are still very much in my prayers.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021

Thank you, Mary Kay. It's a struggle every day.

Love ya, Carol

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Carol,

Everyone just seems to be suddenly behaving differently than I would have expected. I would never picture Hank and Emmy just letting everyone else deal with an issue as they go home and sleep.

I have a really hard time believing that anyone told Allie to just go home with a different officer to sit and WAIT. She's much more of a gotta-be-in-the-action kind of girl - I thought.

Also:
"I'm going to make it worth your while and buy dessert.
--> this just doesn't seem right. All this stuff going on and they're just going to go have ice cream and go home?

Thanks!

Comment Written 15-Dec-2021

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021

At the time this took place.... One - they thought Allie was set up as a hoax. Garth was mad, Allie was exhausted, and he thought an officer could take her home because he would be right behind. Allie was frustrated because Vito/James kept toying with her and this was just another hoax (filming).

Does any of this make it clearer? If not where do you think I should change it?

No one knew whether Samantha had gone with Vito on her own. though Poppa suspected otherwise.

Hank and Emmy had done their part and were on the way home, when things started to bother Hank. He was unaware of anything but he wanted to check. He offered his wife dessert as a bribe. Of course, after spotting the car, everything changed.

reply by robyn corum on 15-Dec-2021

I'm sure it all works out chronologically and stuff and that you'll see what I see later on when you have time to come back at it. (I always have to let things percolate while and then go back nd read it all with fresh eyes.)

You've just painted all these characters as the kind that never go home, never give up, until they TOGETHER solve the crime.

Hank was even running (huffing and puffing) after the car that had Sam when they left. Since they DON'T know if Sam went on her own or not, it just didn't feel right. BUT I'm just the reader - and you have these guys living in your head now. *smile*

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021

I don't know my own name at times... I just want it to end.... something I've never thought before...I'm tired!

reply by robyn corum on 15-Dec-2021

But that's exactly why you have to hang in there. Imagine what they'd do without you?

You are also serving as an amazing example to them all. You are doing a good work.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Great Writing. I wish I had a six left. This isn't at all good. I sure hope Max is able to do what he's supposed to do at the Mansion because nothing is going right here. I can't wait for more.

Comment Written 15-Dec-2021