Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Revenge - Chap 38"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
16 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
hi Carol, I know I should have reviewed this chapter before the next one, but for some reason I got it wrong. But here I am. It looks really bad for Sam now that her cover has been blown. It doesn't look good at all. Can't wait to reading on. Hugs, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2021
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hi Carol, I know I should have reviewed this chapter before the next one, but for some reason I got it wrong. But here I am. It looks really bad for Sam now that her cover has been blown. It doesn't look good at all. Can't wait to reading on. Hugs, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2021
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Thanks so much for continuing to read my book. I do appreciate your time and effort. Hugs, Carol
Comment from Ritsal
Wow, you've got a lot going on here. The action was sp fast paced I barely had time to catch my breath. I'm reading a chapter in the middle of a novel and am engrossed in the story. This speaks volumes as to your talent.
Best wishes,
Rita
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Wow, you've got a lot going on here. The action was sp fast paced I barely had time to catch my breath. I'm reading a chapter in the middle of a novel and am engrossed in the story. This speaks volumes as to your talent.
Best wishes,
Rita
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for your kindness, Rita. I appreciate you stopping by. Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Just like I said in a previous review. You just can't seem to let the plan work out smoothly. You always find a way to stick a wedge in and foil the original plan. Hahaha! Now I have no way to guess what might happen next. I was on the edge of my seat throughout this episode, but when Vito said to Sam, "You work for the FBI," I fell off the seat in shock. Carol, you are an amazing mystery writer.
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Just like I said in a previous review. You just can't seem to let the plan work out smoothly. You always find a way to stick a wedge in and foil the original plan. Hahaha! Now I have no way to guess what might happen next. I was on the edge of my seat throughout this episode, but when Vito said to Sam, "You work for the FBI," I fell off the seat in shock. Carol, you are an amazing mystery writer.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Wow. So many things happening at the same time. So, was Allie supposed to be the redhead they were considering using? When did they see her - Vito seemed to be saying that he and Sam had done all that. That part confused me a little ...
Other:
1.) There's going to be a lot of paperwork, I suppose."
--> why? it's just lights in a park as far any observer would know - right?
2.) He smashed his cigar on the pavement
--> makes it sound like he bent over and physically mashed it into the concrete - Y/N?
3.) "What's going on, James? Look at all the lights in the park."
--> consider making it clear that this is Sam speaking
4.) Vito pressed the lock, slammed the door, and
--> these images are confusing. Is he unlocking the car before getting in or locking it once he's put her in the passenger-side, maybe? If it's the latter, then he'll have to unlock the driver's door before getting in, right?
--> single click opens the driver's side door. Double click to open them all. So he could have locked her in and gone around and single-clicked to allow himself in - and it might not have given her time to search for and find the unlock button on her own door... (Make sense?)
5.) "Don't try anything, Sam, because I will shoot you."
--> new paragraph
6.) It was the last thing she would remember. Enraged, she'd spit in his face, and
--> the last thing she remembered was spitting in his face. --> She never saw the butt of the gun as he slammed it against her head, knocking her out.
--> or some such - b/c she remembers spitting at him evidently.
7.) Vito's reflex slammed his gun against her head,
--> the reflex part sounds weird - like it might not have been totally intentional -- in reflex, Vito slammed...
8.) "I was running and didn't see clearly,
--> he's an FBI special agent - his powers of observation are supposed to be honed to perfection
9.) Emmy will be right behind me. He's huffing and puffing."
--> already used 'huffing and puffing' when Hank sat on the curb
10.) Poppa laughed and ended the call.
--> are you sure? They were just played and he's mad, regardless - prob not in a humorous mood
11.) "Something's wrong, Max.
--> new paragraph
12.) (")Don't blame yourself. None of us had any idea
13.) had any idea how warped Vito's mind was.
--> is - 'was' if he was dead
14.) "Dad? What's wrong?"
--> Max is still talking - need to combine these paragraphs OR adjust the quotation marks
15.) Marian's eyes were bulging with fear as she
--> new paragraph - remember every character gets their own 'spotlight' (new paragraph) when they start new speech or take action
This is not like you. Either you are all wrapped up in the story and moving/thinking so fast you're not paying as close attention to the editing - OR you've still got too much on your plate at the moment to concentrate. Makes me worry....
Sorry for the rating, but I have to play fair. Holler if/when you edit. Hugs-
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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Carol,
Wow. So many things happening at the same time. So, was Allie supposed to be the redhead they were considering using? When did they see her - Vito seemed to be saying that he and Sam had done all that. That part confused me a little ...
Other:
1.) There's going to be a lot of paperwork, I suppose."
--> why? it's just lights in a park as far any observer would know - right?
2.) He smashed his cigar on the pavement
--> makes it sound like he bent over and physically mashed it into the concrete - Y/N?
3.) "What's going on, James? Look at all the lights in the park."
--> consider making it clear that this is Sam speaking
4.) Vito pressed the lock, slammed the door, and
--> these images are confusing. Is he unlocking the car before getting in or locking it once he's put her in the passenger-side, maybe? If it's the latter, then he'll have to unlock the driver's door before getting in, right?
--> single click opens the driver's side door. Double click to open them all. So he could have locked her in and gone around and single-clicked to allow himself in - and it might not have given her time to search for and find the unlock button on her own door... (Make sense?)
5.) "Don't try anything, Sam, because I will shoot you."
--> new paragraph
6.) It was the last thing she would remember. Enraged, she'd spit in his face, and
--> the last thing she remembered was spitting in his face. --> She never saw the butt of the gun as he slammed it against her head, knocking her out.
--> or some such - b/c she remembers spitting at him evidently.
7.) Vito's reflex slammed his gun against her head,
--> the reflex part sounds weird - like it might not have been totally intentional -- in reflex, Vito slammed...
8.) "I was running and didn't see clearly,
--> he's an FBI special agent - his powers of observation are supposed to be honed to perfection
9.) Emmy will be right behind me. He's huffing and puffing."
--> already used 'huffing and puffing' when Hank sat on the curb
10.) Poppa laughed and ended the call.
--> are you sure? They were just played and he's mad, regardless - prob not in a humorous mood
11.) "Something's wrong, Max.
--> new paragraph
12.) (")Don't blame yourself. None of us had any idea
13.) had any idea how warped Vito's mind was.
--> is - 'was' if he was dead
14.) "Dad? What's wrong?"
--> Max is still talking - need to combine these paragraphs OR adjust the quotation marks
15.) Marian's eyes were bulging with fear as she
--> new paragraph - remember every character gets their own 'spotlight' (new paragraph) when they start new speech or take action
This is not like you. Either you are all wrapped up in the story and moving/thinking so fast you're not paying as close attention to the editing - OR you've still got too much on your plate at the moment to concentrate. Makes me worry....
Sorry for the rating, but I have to play fair. Holler if/when you edit. Hugs-
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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Both! Kaitlyn has accused some more people and got caught in a major lie at school. DCFS was contacted and once again she painted a picture of her dad being aggressive (because he was angry) and so she acted out because of him. It's not a good holiday season. I don't agree with everything but I will go back and go through it again.
Right now, I just want it to be done and over with. Every body keeps asking me how much more.... Thanks for your ideas and I promise I will redo it as soon as I get through this. Though my mind looks differently at somethings than other people. Probably because I have been living and breathing the story.
Thanks for helping and giving me suggestions to mull over.
Always, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Never a dull moment in Carol's make believe worlds. And just when it appears the action is beginning to slow down, it's full throttle, pedal to the metal all over again. Thanks for sharing. :-)
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Never a dull moment in Carol's make believe worlds. And just when it appears the action is beginning to slow down, it's full throttle, pedal to the metal all over again. Thanks for sharing. :-)
Comment Written 15-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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In my make believe world, which mimics the emotions in my real time life, I can change it if I don't like it. Unfortunately, it doesn't work now. Thanks for stopping by!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Oops--I got these last two bass-akwards. I'm working my list in reverse, and overlooked this one. Horrifying turn of events! Brilliant work.
"Sheriff, what a surprise PERIOD
alright->ALL RIGHT
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Oops--I got these last two bass-akwards. I'm working my list in reverse, and overlooked this one. Horrifying turn of events! Brilliant work.
"Sheriff, what a surprise PERIOD
alright->ALL RIGHT
Comment Written 15-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thanks for all the help. I truly don't know how you do it because you have far more followers than I do and I can't keep up. I feel bad that I get so far behind. I truly appreciate your help.
Smiles, Carol
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I'm behind by 229 reviews to respond to. Probably a couple more when I refresh the screen.
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I don't know how you do it. It drives me crazy when I cut and paste but I don't want to be in the holiday week and have people think I couldn't even read their reviews. 190 was horrible!
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I often resort to cut/paste--I craft a generic response and separately address reviewers' questions and comments when appropriate.
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I am currently up to 240-- I get about 20 per post, and I generally post daily--sometimes twice. I'm juggling two sites--and submitting to five publications within the other one.
Comment from Carol Clark2
Wow! Once again everyone's in extreme danger. Hopefully the girls, Marian, and Max will be able to leave the island safely. Poor Sam, knocked out by Vito. Looks like the bad guys are giving the FBI a run for their money. Your story is so cleverly entangled. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Wow! Once again everyone's in extreme danger. Hopefully the girls, Marian, and Max will be able to leave the island safely. Poor Sam, knocked out by Vito. Looks like the bad guys are giving the FBI a run for their money. Your story is so cleverly entangled. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 14-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much. Forgive the cut and paste but I am so far behind with showing my appreciation to everyone. Please know it is sincere. This story went in a darker direction than I originally planned (maybe my life got caught up in it) but as we draw closer to the end, I am thrilled that you have continued to follow and enjoy it.
I hope you have the best of holidays. Hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Worse and worse! The intrigue and the complexities and difficulties. Your writing is excellent as always, and I am always looking forward to the next chapter.
Wendy
(Typo: you need a capital H for the question "Have you lost your mind?")
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Worse and worse! The intrigue and the complexities and difficulties. Your writing is excellent as always, and I am always looking forward to the next chapter.
Wendy
(Typo: you need a capital H for the question "Have you lost your mind?")
Comment Written 14-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much. Forgive the cut and paste but I am so far behind with showing my appreciation to everyone. Please know it is sincere. This story went in a darker direction than I originally planned (maybe my life got caught up in it) but as we draw closer to the end, I am thrilled that you have continued to follow and enjoy it.
I hope you have the best of holidays. Hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
I was hoping someone on Garth's team would have found Sam's heel and know she didn't go willingly.
It's good that Max's father is on their side and could help with information but how does he know Garth's number? It seems that Max and Marian took too much time already.
Sam is smart. I'm sure she has another weapon we don't know about yet.
Comments:
"You are drunk? (maybe exclamation instead of question mark?)
"have you lost your mind? (Have)
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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I was hoping someone on Garth's team would have found Sam's heel and know she didn't go willingly.
It's good that Max's father is on their side and could help with information but how does he know Garth's number? It seems that Max and Marian took too much time already.
Sam is smart. I'm sure she has another weapon we don't know about yet.
Comments:
"You are drunk? (maybe exclamation instead of question mark?)
"have you lost your mind? (Have)
Comment Written 14-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much. Forgive the cut and paste but I am so far behind with showing my appreciation to everyone. Please know it is sincere. This story went in a darker direction than I originally planned (maybe my life got caught up in it) but as we draw closer to the end, I am thrilled that you have continued to follow and enjoy it.
I hope you have the best of holidays. Hugs, Carol
Comment from royowen
Things are really hotting up, even though they seem to have set the perfect trap for Moretti, it seems He's completely outwitted them, and has damaged Sam, now he's going to take it out on Marian to spite Sam. Beautifully written Carol, a biggie this one, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Things are really hotting up, even though they seem to have set the perfect trap for Moretti, it seems He's completely outwitted them, and has damaged Sam, now he's going to take it out on Marian to spite Sam. Beautifully written Carol, a biggie this one, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much. Forgive the cut and paste but I am so far behind with showing my appreciation to everyone. Please know it is sincere. This story went in a darker direction than I originally planned (maybe my life got caught up in it) but as we draw closer to the end, I am thrilled that you have continued to follow and enjoy it.
I hope you have the best of holidays. Hugs, Carol
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Don?t worry, all?s well
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Thanks, Roy. It's been tough at this end and this morning I found myself 190 reviews behind. That's wonderful and awful at the same time. People deserve to be thanked for taking their time to read my work. I really appreciate that you are always there. Hugs, Carol
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Don?t worry, I?m not counting, I?m sure no one else use is